Attachment Parenting

Bed sharing & wake ups

DD is almost 19 months old.  We have bed shared since day 1.  She still wakes up several times a night (3-6), which night weaning did not effect.  I don't mind the waking so much, but if she wakes and I am not right beside her, she flips out.  Immediately starts panicking and sobbing hysterically.  What, if anything, can I do to help her understand that I am always nearby, but I have things that take me out of the bed during her 12 hour sleep cycle?

We have always responded to her cries quickly.  I just don't know why she freaks out so fast...

Thank you. 

Me - 40, DH 34 Married 11 years, TTC since 7/09 3 rounds of Clomid > Vivienne born 5/28/11
TTC#2 since 01/13 - 3 rounds of Clomid, 2 IUI w/injectibles, moving to IVF
IVF #1 - Lupron 20 6/19, Follistim 225 6/21, Menopur 75 6/27, Trigger 6/30
ER 7/2 (8R, 7M, 5F); ET 7/5 - 2 8 cell, grade 1 and 1 7 cell, grade 1 Stick babies, stick!
BFP on HPT at 11dp3dt
Beta #1 13dp3dt 787
Beta #2 17dp3dt 6,007
1st u/s 5w2d showing one "good" sac and 2-3 questionable
2nd u/s 6w2d showing one baby with HR 128bpm
3rd u/s 7w1d - HR 159bpm - graduated from RE!
MaternT21 test results: no chromosomal issues, it's a BOY!!!
EDD March 25, 2014

<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Advice"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/ttfc354.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt18e29e.aspx" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

Re: Bed sharing &amp;amp; wake ups

  • DS is the same way. If he wakes enough to sit up, he'll start crying if I'm not in the room. We have a small apartment, though, so I can hear him stirring even before he's that awake and quickly slip in. He does give me some notice with a groggy super stretch and some slow rolling over before sitting up.

    One day when he was napping, I didn't hear him stir but came in to find him awake and playing with my cell phone, which I had left sitting next to my pillow. I guess he saw and snagged it, a much coveted device, so that he could play with it while I wasn't watching. Could you put a toy that DD really loves on the bed near her, so that if you don't hear her and get to the room before she is awake, she might be distracted by the cool toy? Also, you could consider an audio monitor, so that you can hear her stirring and get to the room.

    None of my advice was related to helping her feel more comfortable with your absence. I suppose, though, that if you always answer her as quickly as you can, and tell her that it's ok, mommy was just outside, that she will grow to learn that you are close by and everything is alright. Good luck!
    imageimage
    image
    image
  • DS1 would wake up several times a night until just recently and he is 3. We realize now that our presence was too stimulating and would wake up. He was also in such a habit of waking the same time that if we weren't there would wake up and start crying.

    We didn't want to stop bed sharing but had to for both our sakes.

    We first did the sleep lady shuffle. You can google and find out how. But basically we removed ourselves slowly so he eventually learned to fall asleep on his own. We used to sleep in a bed next to him and then go to his bed when he got up around 5 am. But after a while he got up earlier and earlier so we would sleep with him.

    Eventually we decided we would sleep in the same room and not go into bed with him just put him back or tell him to go to sleep. After a while he realized no one was going to sleep in his bed and didn't get up. Now he sleeps in his own room and rarely wakes

    This whole process took about one year. There were some setbacks due to illness, the new baby, etc. but we started around 22 months

    I don't know if your LO will be like mine and sleep better in her own space. I also read in Elizabeth pantleys book to stay with them several nights the whole time so they realize you are there and then they may sleep more soundly. Once they are in a deep sleep pattern you might be able to get away and they will stay asleep. GL!
    Lilypie First Birthday tickersBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker Anniversary
  • Loading the player...
  • DD is the same way...I sneak out of bed and if she wakes she reaches for me and if im not there she starts wailing....it only takes me a few min to get her back to sleep but it sort of sucks cuz I cant really get into a movie or show since i have to pause all the time. Knock on wood but i think she is finally getting to the age where she will at least sttn!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers imageimage
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"