Advice needed

jjetwedding

We had Christmas plans to stay with my husbands Grandmother for a few days. She's not the nicest woman but I've always just tolerated her and taken things she has said with a grain of salt since she's old! . I've never had any issues with her but since the birth of our baby who is 2 months old she has said some very rude comments.

She is 80 so I've just tried very hard to look past it. We are staying at her place on Christmas and she usually cooks dinner. She recently had some issues with her back and was not feeling up to cooking so her sons girlfriend offered to cook. Well her son lives in a trailer with his chain smoking live in girlfriend who we have met maybe twice.

My husbands grandmother sprung this news on us while we are staying with her. I am having an extremely strong protective reaction to staying far far away from the son and girlfriend with our baby. My husband does not want to offend his grandma and family and I'm just beside myself. My husband agrees that he doesn't want to have Christmas dinner at their home either but that since we are here we should just go. I need some advice. I don't want to eat there, don't really like his uncle he's been married like 4 times, really immature for his age, drinks beer constantly and his girlfriend is pleasant but chain smokes and will want to hold my daughter which I DO NOT WANT.

I need some objective reasonable advice on what I should do? Thank you!

danienross

So your supposed to eat Christmas dinner in a house where a chain smoker lives? No way would I expose my baby to that!

veslick

I'd come up with an excuse to not make it.

jjetwedding

Guys what happens if my husband will not back me up on this. He is fighting me tooth and nail to save face with grandma. Please help me!

Mrs.G123

I have asthma and wouldn't dream of spending an amount if time in a smokers home, and I sure as hell wouldn't take my little baby.

jjetwedding

Thank you mothers! I'm going to have to stand my ground with this one and leave by rental car if my husband does not comply!!! Thank you for backing my instincts up, that's all I needed.

ChrisG83

I would pass up the invite for Christmas but visit in a week or two so you can still make an appearance at her place.

jjetwedding

OP here. We are staying at Grandmas already and she sprung the news on us. What type of excuse would work here? Part of me feels trapped because we are here and Christmas is around the corner. I will stand my ground but what could we even say to grandma in this situation. Suffice to say that we will never be staying here on Christmas again and will make a short stay if ever again.

ThatWasAHoot

I agree.  I would just be completely honest.  "Where I respect you all and your lifestyle choices, I just can't expose my newborn to cigarette smoke or any place that is tainted with it."  It is simple, it is clear, and it is not by any means unreasonable!

hs10

I would be nice, but blunt. Beating around the bush usually is worse than just telling it as it is.

Could the girlfriend cook at grandma's house?

Olivebeinmamma

hs10:

I would be nice, but blunt. Beating around the bush usually is worse than just telling it as it is.

Could the girlfriend cook at grandma's house?

I was totally going to suggest cooking at grandmas!! Easy fix and she will have to go outside to smoke. Jut be honest and explain she needs to wash her hands and even mouthwash if necessary if she's going to hold LO.

blondie42107

I think lo got sick... I would come up with something.

tysgirl2006

I'm with everyone else. There is no way I would expose my child to a home with smoke in it. Just be blunt. The grandma doesn't have to agree with your decision, but she should respect it! IMO, it's your baby, your rules. Stick up for what you want. You can't let yourself be bullied into doing something that makes you uncomfortable...especially if it involves your child!