Ended up in tears this morning
chance_encounters
member
Hello ladies. To this point I have been more of a lurker on this board.
This is my 3rd child. My first two my water broke early on (2cm) I went straight to the hospital (I was young and did not have the knowledge I have now) and they instantly started me on pitocin. So my labor went from very light contractions to VERY extreme quickly. With my first I was hoping to go Epidural free and after 46 hours on pitocin and still being dilated to 2cm I gave in and took the drugs.....she was born 1 hours later and with both girls literally 2 pushes and they were out. Similar story with my 2nd. (my girls are now 9 & 13)
This time DH and I are taking Bradley classes. I am hoping to labor at home as much as I can before I go into the hospital and stay OFF of pitocin. That stuff scares the crap out of me. Well last night I could not sleep I kept dreaming I was in transition ALL NIGHT. I kept dreaming that because I was in labor so long they did an emergency c-section.,,,,or once I hit pushing I couldn't get past that ring of fire and ended up with a c-section.....or that I begged for the epidural and my husband kept telling them no because I was progressing (that is our agreement or at least what I am looking at, as long as I am progressing I want to stay off any drugs). Well I woke up this morning and started bawling my eyes out of all of my fears and etc. DH was wonderful and just sat there and listened to me and told me he loved me and that I would make it though this no matter what......but I am still scared/freaked out. I really DO NOT want an epidural for multiple reasons but I am so afraid I will not be able to make it through this with out wussing out. The birth will be in a hospital and no I do not have a Douala (we do not have the extra 650.00 for her, we need it for when I am on maternity leave).
Sorry this is so long and thank you ladies for listening to me.
You do not have to read past this if you do not want to. My reasons for not wanting an epidural:
I have a horrible headaches that last for almost a month after. Apparently this only affects 1% of women and oh yay I am that 1%.
With DD #2 the guy scraped my spine with the needle and it seriously hurt for almost a year. It also made it very difficult to sleep for months too because my back hurt so bad.
Both babies were out of it when they were born. Natural babies seem to be so alert.
Side effects: shivering, ringing of the ears (which to this day my ears still ring constantly, I have seen a specialist and there is nothing they can do about it)
Re: Ended up in tears this morning
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Harmony Doula
I'm sorry! Sometimes dreams are just horrible. Hopefully this will go so much easier than any of your dreams and you'll get the birth you want. Hope, pp is able to hook you up with a doula.
I'm sorry youre so freaked out. I don't have any experience to share with you as I'm currently 29W with my first but I have a site that really eased a lot of my concerns and answered a lot of questions for me. I'll link you specifically with how to induce labor naturally and theres other topics if youre interested on the left-hand side. Good luck.
https://www.givingbirthnaturally.com/natural-ways-to-induce-labor.html
I just peeked on this board for old times sake. I am about to celebrate my fourth child's first birthday. I remember the anxiety very well. I promise you, the anxiety is worse than the real deal.
I've had all sorts of different births: the first was an emergency c-section and I was knocked out completely, the second was with an epidural but I had a hot spot (basically it numbed me everywhere except where I was actually in pain), the third I was given drugs to help me progress...the fourth I took control because I did not like how my former pregnancies were run "for me." Now, I did have a doula - and they are helpful - but your husband can do the exact same thing. Basically, just like you are planning, he's going to help you stay the course you've decided is best for you and your baby ... the decision you are making during your "sane" time when you aren't caught up in being worried or second guessing yourself because the hospital staff wants things a certain way "for the best of the baby." My last child was completely med free...I labored at home as long as I felt it was safe to do so (basically when I couldn't talk through the contractions we hit the door...it was my call, we lived fairly close to the hospital).
I chose a hospital that allowed a woman to walk around during labor...their rules were that they be allowed to externally monitor you 15 minutes of every hour...but I didn't let them do that, either. The more they mess with you they more they break your concentration is my theory...the more that happens the more the waves of anxiety start over you and I think the interruptions interfere with progression. I did not labor on my back..and at first they were cool with that, but I knew from prior experience that back labor was my main problem in prior pregnancies. I leaned against the bed, then crawled up on all fours with the head of the bed elevated to lean into. Towards the end, the nurses were arguing with us that I had to lay down "for the good of the baby" which really meant that they needed me to have a routine birth "for them" to be comfortable. I stayed where I was...and honestly, I was so concentrating that I really only vaguely remember the squabble going on in the back ground...my full focus was on reading my body. It felt like *hours* but in reality it was slightly less than an hour. The moment the baby was born, everything felt just fine..I was tired but a good tired, I could get up and walk, I didn't have needles in me, the baby wasn't drugged, et cetera. In fact, through that evening and the following day we had several staff members (nurses, etc) come to see the woman that had birthed on all fours as they had never seen that before and were commenting about how wonderful it was and what a difference it was. One individual stated that she was going to recommend it from now on as the prior week a young, first time mom ended up having to have a c-section that she believes now could have been prevented had she been allowed to labor as I had just done.
Now, I'm not saying birth on all fours (but if you do, stack some pillows under your tummy for support) but I am saying get into a position that your body wants you to be in...you dont have to do it the hospital way unless you allow/need interventions...once you have something hooked up to you, you then have to bargain for everything, and every decision you make will negate or reduce your options for other things.
Best of luck to you for a wonderful birthing experience!
I understand the reasons you don't want an epidural. I too, took Bradley. I worry that I won't be able to make it through labor or I'll have a complication that requires a C/S or induction. But I honestly keep telling myself drugs aren't bad, they aren't evil, they are a tool. If after 12+ hours I am exhausted and need a rest that an epidural is a tool to utilize. It's also one they can turn off after I've rested or when I'm ready to push. But your SO will be there. He will be guiding you, reminding you that you're ok, this is normal, your body CAN do this, and it's for the baby. And as long as you're ok and baby is ok take that to heart and push through each individual contraction. Don't think ahead (except to holding that baby) and don't think back. Stay in the moment.
Also, check for "new" doulas and volunteer doulas. Our local hospital actually has a volunteer doula program. And I saw many doulas just starting out on their own (after attending many births as an assistant) and were charging much, much less. Some were free, some were only $100-$200 vs. $500+. I know about needing every penny but the lesser amount is worth having the support and guidance imo. And a lot of them will work with you if you're strapped for cash. They understand and they also understand that they provide a service that is much needed by some women. Ask your Bradley instructor if she knows anyone, ours had a huge list of ones available.
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Harmony Doula
I realize that doulas can be expensive. Try googling volunteer doula charlotte, nc and checkout some of the options available to you.