~~ FFFC ~~

Enigma11

My confession is I cannot stand when people misuse words. For example "I seen her the other day" is not correct, neither is "my phone don't work" When you speak like this it makes you sound like an uneducated idiot. It just makes me want to scream!

JSS1002

kimmarie1105:

I just received my nursery furniture and its the wrong color. I call JCP and am told that my color is on back order until March 9 and thats not even a guarantee. I am on the computer simultaneously  placing the order and it is telling me it is in stock. (I did this because I had a problem with this back order nonsense last month when I originally ordered it) She tells me that it is in stock at another warehouse but not at her warehouse. I cant have it shipped from another warehouse either. WTF? I say "how do you sell baby furniture and then tell people they cant have it for 4 months?" She then proceeds to tell me that this is what happens when you order last minute. My confession; I have never cursed someone out so terribly bad before in my life. I believe very nasty curse words and insults came out of my mouth. I think I may have gotten personal and I dont feel bad,not even a little bit. 

 

Never a big fan of shooting the messenger, UNLESS THE MESSENGER ACTS LIKE AN ASSHAT.  I can't believe she said that to you.  I don't blame you.

Kate_C

kelsea1031:

mirroredimage:

kelsea1031:

Ugh. Don't even get me started! This girl called me from L&D last week in a panic. My heart immediately sank and was sick with worry. Nope, she was ticked because it was *just* BH contractions and they made her go home. And this is her second. Needless to say, I'm taking a bit of a break from her. 

Good for you for taking a break instead of letting her have it.  Way to be mature - not sure I'd be able to do that if I were in your shoes.  Hope things get better for you soon!

My confession: our daycare provider had DS "color" mugs for the parents for Christmas gifts.  It's literally a cheap ceramic mug with misc. marker colors on it (it is the art work of a one-year-old, after all).  I still got all misty-eyed when I opened it since it's my first handmade gift from DS.  I'm a nerd.

Also, I like Doritos.  They are disgusting and I feel disgusting after I eat them, but I still manage to polish off half a bag in one sitting on occasion. 

UberBiz

Alright, I confess that I'm afraid of having a huge baby. And not even because of labor or an impending RCS, but because of having a BIG baby... my daughter was only 5lb9oz when she was born, and she was perfect (5 days before EDD). I'm a tiny person and I couldn't imagine having a big chubby 10lb baby straight off the bat. I don't think DD was 10lbs til she was 4 months old! (I could be exaggerating on that, I can't remember how much she grew the first few months, but she has ALWAYS been tiny. Healthy, but she's just a tiny person like me).

Please don't get me wrong, I will love my son no matter what size he comes out at, and I am 100% positive that once he is in my arms I won't even think about how big (or small) he is, he will be perfect. But thinking about it at this moment, I can't even imagine holding a "tiny little baby" that could be twice the size of DD when she was born.

randomnames

My office is in a secured area of the building, but the bathrooms are not. I just locked myself out for the third time this morning and I'm still not wearing my badge. I'm eating now, so I don't want to look for it. Which means I will probably forget again. Oh well.

brevans02

mirroredimage:

brevans02:

I have another one:

Grammatical errors bother me. Especially your vs you're, their/there/they're, and accepting/excepting. It REALLY annoys me when I see misuse in professional documents such as invoices, brochures, websites, etc.

However, I have a really hard time remembering when to use "it's" vs "its" - its with no apostrophe is possessive, right?

In "it's"  the apostrophe is taking the place of the "i" in is.  It's shortening the 2 words to 1 and making it a contraction. If you can say "it is" and the sentence still makes sense you can use the apostrophe. 

Whew, I was right. Now I can continue my judgemental ways.

Casie13

heddy79:

I'm like a 5 year old right now and I keep sneaking by the Christmas tree and shaking the gifts with my name to try and figure out with DH got me.

That's adorable. I wish my DH had put my gifts under our tree. Sadly they are at my in-laws house, as we always open gifts there on Christmas Eve.

Bink720

Grace0609:

SpringPeeper:

I fail to see how other people's misfortunes means that I am not allowed to complain about being uncomfortable or whine about some other TMI pregnancy side effects. I'm not going to complain directly TO you, but I don't have to love every minute.

Don't you dare complain about not liking your dinner because some people don't get enough to eat!

I WILL complain about feeling like #$I* for 9 months.  It doesn't make me any less grateful to have this baby.

This!

Also, I will complain about not getting any sleep and how much breastfeeding sucks. Newborns aren't a walk in the park either.

NativeFloridian

mirroredimage:

It bothers me that Nancy Lanza is being overlooked during the memorials.  Everyone talks about the 26 victims of the shooting.  No - there were 27 victims!  She lost her life early, too.   A picture of a loving and dedicated mother has been painted and yet no one will do an act of kindness for her because she was the shooter's mother.  No one will plant a Christmas tree, discuss her funeral arrangements or mention her name as a victim even though she was his first.

I'm sure mistakes were made on her part but we have all made mistakes, too, and she doesn't deserve to be ignored because she was human.

I think it's terrible for a mother to be judged because of something her child has done.  It's not always the mother's fault.  I've always felt this way, but when I read this article, it really drove my point home.

NativeFloridian

mypalbabs:

I can't stop buying diapers.

The only reason I haven't gone buck wild for this baby is because I don't have the funds.  But every time I have a little I buy a diaper, lol.

rayofsunshine99

Re: complaining.... When I was pregnant with DS (it was unplanned) and I complained a lot about all the discomforts of being pregnant.  This pregnancy was very much planned for and we lost two babies during the 14 months we were trying.  There are times that I get frustrated about something and think to complain and then I think about my friends who are struggling/unable to get pregnant and how they would give anything to have heartburn, sleepless nights or have people telling them that they look 'way farther along than they are'.  (something I just complained about the other day)   I try to keep voicing these complaints to a minimum, and even more so, when I'm feeling frustrated or annoyed by a pregnancy related thing, it helps to "check myself" and remember how lucky I am.  Suddenly the thing(s) I was irritated about don't really seem like a big deal.

 

My confession: (basically what I said in the baking thread)    I hate it when people bake/give me cookies during the holidays.  There are enough sweets around tempting me at work, and I don't buy cookies and sh!t to keep in the house because I know I will eat them all so when someone bakes & gives them to me, I wish they hadn't and sometimes throw them away.  I realize that may seem mean or inconsiderate and people took the time to bake but I think people also do it because THEY enjoy it and need to consider that not everyone  appreciates/wants a sh!tton of cookies in their house.

JSS1002

Telling somebody how you feel (physically or otherwise) is not necessarily complaining, as much as it sometimes is just stating a fact.  Like, if somebody asks me how I feel, or how I'm doing, I'm going to TELL them, but it doesn't mean I'm complaining, I'm just answering a question.

The inability to recognize this bothers me.

 

Bink720

rayofsunshine99:

Re: complaining.... When I was pregnant with DS (it was unplanned) and I complained a lot about all the discomforts of being pregnant.  This pregnancy was very much planned for and we lost two babies during the 14 months we were trying.  There are times that I get frustrated about something and think to complain and then I think about my friends who are struggling/unable to get pregnant and how they would give anything to have heartburn, sleepless nights or have people telling them that they look 'way farther along than they are'.  (something I just complained about the other day)   I try to keep voicing these complaints to a minimum, and even more so, when I'm feeling frustrated or annoyed by a pregnancy related thing, it helps to "check myself" and remember how lucky I am.  Suddenly the thing(s) I was irritated about don't really seem like a big deal.

I'm totally with you on the feeling grateful and remembering that I'm really lucky.  On the flip side, I think you need to know your audience.  I would never call one of my friends that is TTC or is struggling with IF and complain.  I don't even bring up my pregnancy unless they ask.  But coming onto a pregnancy board and saying you are sick of hearing people complain about being pregnant.  This is where we are supposed to complain and commiserate.  I do it here so I don't feel the need to put it on people IRL.   I think if someone doesn't want to hear people b!tch about being pregnant, they shouldn't spend so much time on a pregnancy board.  I don't think it's very fair to go to a pregnancy board and make women feel bad for talking about what they are going through.

rayofsunshine99

JSS1002:

Telling somebody how you feel (physically or otherwise) is not necessarily complaining, as much as it sometimes is just stating a fact.  Like, if somebody asks me how I feel, or how I'm doing, I'm going to TELL them, but it doesn't mean I'm complaining, I'm just answering a question.

The inability to recognize this bothers me.

 

I do agree.  Saying "I'm exhausted!" or "I'm sick" etc doesn't necessarily mean you're complaining, but just stating the fact like you said, esp when people ask how you're feeling. 

With that though, since we tend to get asked how we're feeling multiple times a day by multiple people, I've come to the conclusion that those asking really don't want to hear a list of my current pregnancy symptoms and/or discomforts, so I've started answering with "I'm fine, how are you feeling?"  

rayofsunshine99

Bink720:

rayofsunshine99:

Re: complaining.... When I was pregnant with DS (it was unplanned) and I complained a lot about all the discomforts of being pregnant.  This pregnancy was very much planned for and we lost two babies during the 14 months we were trying.  There are times that I get frustrated about something and think to complain and then I think about my friends who are struggling/unable to get pregnant and how they would give anything to have heartburn, sleepless nights or have people telling them that they look 'way farther along than they are'.  (something I just complained about the other day)   I try to keep voicing these complaints to a minimum, and even more so, when I'm feeling frustrated or annoyed by a pregnancy related thing, it helps to "check myself" and remember how lucky I am.  Suddenly the thing(s) I was irritated about don't really seem like a big deal.

I'm totally with you on the feeling grateful and remembering that I'm really lucky.  On the flip side, I think you need to know your audience.  I would never call one of my friends that is TTC or is struggling with IF and complain.  I don't even bring up my pregnancy unless they ask.  But coming onto a pregnancy board and saying you are sick of hearing people complain about being pregnant.  This is where we are supposed to complain and commiserate.  I do it here so I don't feel the need to put it on people IRL.   I think if someone doesn't want to hear people b!tch about being pregnant, they shouldn't spend so much time on a pregnancy board.  I don't think it's very fair to go to a pregnancy board and make women feel bad for talking about what they are going through.

I see what you're saying too.  My post wasn't really directed at people complaining on here, more just to say that it helps me get out of my own pity party when I think about people who would give anything to be in my shoes.  (not that their misfortune makes me feel better, just that it puts things in to perspective, that whatever I'm upset about isn't as big of a deal as I originally thought/felt)  KWIM?

ETA disclaimer, my own complaints I was referring to are also all minor things.  I have never experienced anything major like Pre-E, PTL, etc and I would imagine that having a lot of restrictions/complications is a very different story.  (in case anyone with serious complications thought that my post was a blanket statement for all 

ETA2 re: the bold, tsharon is part of the audience on this board and cannot conceive, so from her perspective, I can understand how it might be frustrating to see/hear us complain about something she would love to experience for herself.  I'm not saying that people should or shouldn't complain, just looking at it from all POV's  

kelsea1031

Bink720:

rayofsunshine99:

Re: complaining.... When I was pregnant with DS (it was unplanned) and I complained a lot about all the discomforts of being pregnant.  This pregnancy was very much planned for and we lost two babies during the 14 months we were trying.  There are times that I get frustrated about something and think to complain and then I think about my friends who are struggling/unable to get pregnant and how they would give anything to have heartburn, sleepless nights or have people telling them that they look 'way farther along than they are'.  (something I just complained about the other day)   I try to keep voicing these complaints to a minimum, and even more so, when I'm feeling frustrated or annoyed by a pregnancy related thing, it helps to "check myself" and remember how lucky I am.  Suddenly the thing(s) I was irritated about don't really seem like a big deal.

I'm totally with you on the feeling grateful and remembering that I'm really lucky.  On the flip side, I think you need to know your audience.  I would never call one of my friends that is TTC or is struggling with IF and complain.  I don't even bring up my pregnancy unless they ask.  But coming onto a pregnancy board and saying you are sick of hearing people complain about being pregnant.  This is where we are supposed to complain and commiserate.  I do it here so I don't feel the need to put it on people IRL.   I think if someone doesn't want to hear people b!tch about being pregnant, they shouldn't spend so much time on a pregnancy board.  I don't think it's very fair to go to a pregnancy board and make women feel bad for talking about what they are going through.

Also, I think there's a difference between complaining about being pregnant and complaining about some of the unfortunate things that come with pregnancy. 

old_time_girl

I have another confession.
I have a friend i was roommates with for a while and we were really close. But since she had kids, I kind of avoid her. She has a totally different parenting style than I do and it bothers me to be around her a little. Maybe I'm just judgey, but i can't handle it. I've almost blocked her on FB a couple of times because it seems that every other week she's b!tching about how difficult her kids are being and what whiney brats they are at 3 and 1 years old. Seriously, she complains about herkids all.the.time!

NativeFloridian

old_time_girl:

I have another confession. I have a friend i was roommates with for a while and we were really close. But since she had kids, I kind of avoid her. She has a totally different parenting style than I do and it bothers me to be around her a little. Maybe I'm just judgey, but i can't handle it. I've almost blocked her on FB a couple of times because it seems that every other week she's b!tching about how difficult her kids are being and what whiney brats they are at 3 and 1 years old. Seriously, she complains about herkids all.the.time!

I have an acquaintance like this.  Or, she was.  She would post all these pictures of her son on Facebook and act like she was the most doting mother in the world, but to hear her actually talk about her son you'd think she hated him.  She called him names, started spanking him when he was barely a year and a half old, telling him he was pissing her off and she was sick of him, etc.

I'm not sure if she still does this, mostly because her soon-to-be ex husband and her son were in a car accident, and the husband was killed.  Her son made it out with some scrapes and bruises, and she seemed to appreciate him a little more after that.  But after it happened she deleted her Facebook and created a new one and I never bothered to re-friend her, so who knows.  Not much else seems to have changed about her, though.  *shrug* 

Bink720

rayofsunshine99:

I see what you're saying too.  My post wasn't really directed at people complaining on here, more just to say that it helps me get out of my own pity party when I think about people who would give anything to be in my shoes.  (not that their misfortune makes me feel better, just that it puts things in to perspective, that whatever I'm upset about isn't as big of a deal as I originally thought/felt)  KWIM?

ETA disclaimer, my own complaints I was referring to are also all minor things.  I have never experienced anything major like Pre-E, PTL, etc and I would imagine that having a lot of restrictions/complications is a very different story.  (in case anyone with serious complications thought that my post was a blanket statement for all 

ETA2 re: the bold, tsharon is part of the audience on this board and cannot conceive, so from her perspective, I can understand how it might be frustrating to see/hear us complain about something she would love to experience for herself.  I'm not saying that people should or shouldn't complain, just looking at it from all POV's  

I'm picking up what you're throwing down.  I definitely have things in my life I use to put different situations in perspective.  And I totally agree with there being a difference in somebody talking about a major complications vs complaining everyday that they are tired.  

I also think that I would feel differently if this FFFC was directed at somebody IRL that she has to interact with.  Like a coworker, relative, etc and you are kind of stuck in that situation where you have to listen and be supportive.  Even if they are being inconsiderate to your struggles and situation. I would be more sympathetic.  That's a much tougher situation.  

But the difference is that she comes here.  She comes seeking out our posts about pregnancies and our experiences.  And then makes a post saying she's sick of hearing about everyone complain about pregnancy symptoms and that we should "shut up and enjoy it." This isn't us going out of our way to make her feel bad and it doesn't mean that we don't appreciate the gifts we've been given.  But pregnancy isn't all puppies and rainbows.  I have been very blessed to have a healthy pregnancy, that didn't make my impacted stool any better, it didn't make the nights I spent throwing up blood any easier and these aren't even complications.  Just normal side effects.  Being told to shut up and enjoy it from someone who hasn't spent the day in the ER getting enemas doesn't feel nice.  Especially when I feel like none of us can say anything back because then we are insensitive to her situation.  Even though she's not showing sensitivity to ours.  I understand I may get flamed for that last statement, but it's true.

I'm not saying that Tsharon (or anyone else in a non-traditional situation) can't or shouldn't be apart of the community.  She obviously already is.  But just like she is trying to make us be aware of how lucky we are.  She needs to understand that it's not easy for most of us either.  And that if she's going to seek out a pregnancy forum, we are going to talk about being pregnant, the good, the bad and the really really ugly. 

jreavey

lovelyday39:

I think there is a certain point where you realize and accept that people say stupid sh#t to pregnant(all) people all of the time. Most people are self-absorbed and do not think about other people's feelings. Or they mean well, they just don't have a constructive way of expressing this. 

This lack of emotional intelligence/social skills is not about you therefore there's no need to take it personally, it's just a reflection of how stunted and disconnected the other person is. Therefore, there's no need to make it about you unless you just like drama and an excuse to complain and have people feel sorry for you.

 Agreed!  I don't think it's useful to get all upset about facepalm worthy comments from other people.  I just take it in stride.  For the most part, I think folks don't know how to act around pregnant ladies who they aren't close to.  They probably say things without thinking.  If I was their sister or friend, I'd expect a little more consideration, but work buddies and strangers shouldn't be expected to be as considerate.

rayofsunshine99

Bink720:

rayofsunshine99:

I see what you're saying too.  My post wasn't really directed at people complaining on here, more just to say that it helps me get out of my own pity party when I think about people who would give anything to be in my shoes.  (not that their misfortune makes me feel better, just that it puts things in to perspective, that whatever I'm upset about isn't as big of a deal as I originally thought/felt)  KWIM?

ETA disclaimer, my own complaints I was referring to are also all minor things.  I have never experienced anything major like Pre-E, PTL, etc and I would imagine that having a lot of restrictions/complications is a very different story.  (in case anyone with serious complications thought that my post was a blanket statement for all 

ETA2 re: the bold, tsharon is part of the audience on this board and cannot conceive, so from her perspective, I can understand how it might be frustrating to see/hear us complain about something she would love to experience for herself.  I'm not saying that people should or shouldn't complain, just looking at it from all POV's  

I'm picking up what you're throwing down.  I definitely have things in my life I use to put different situations in perspective.  And I totally agree with there being a difference in somebody talking about a major complications vs complaining everyday that they are tired.  

I also think that I would feel differently if this FFFC was directed at somebody IRL that she has to interact with.  Like a coworker, relative, etc and you are kind of stuck in that situation where you have to listen and be supportive.  Even if they are being inconsiderate to your struggles and situation. I would be more sympathetic.  That's a much tougher situation.  

But the difference is that she comes here.  She comes seeking out our posts about pregnancies and our experiences.  And then makes a post saying she's sick of hearing about everyone complain about pregnancy symptoms and that we should "shut up and enjoy it." This isn't us going out of our way to make her feel bad and it doesn't mean that we don't appreciate the gifts we've been given.  But pregnancy isn't all puppies and rainbows.  I have been very blessed to have a healthy pregnancy, that didn't make my impacted stool any better, it didn't make the nights I spent throwing up blood any easier and these aren't even complications.  Just normal side effects.  Being told to shut up and enjoy it from someone who hasn't spent the day in the ER getting enemas doesn't feel nice.  Especially when I feel like none of us can say anything back because then we are insensitive to her situation.  Even though she's not showing sensitivity to ours.  I understand I may get flamed for that last statement, but it's true.

I'm not saying that Tsharon (or anyone else in a non-traditional situation) can't or shouldn't be apart of the community.  She obviously already is.  But just like she is trying to make us be aware of how lucky we are.  She needs to understand that it's not easy for most of us either.  And that if she's going to seek out a pregnancy forum, we are going to talk about being pregnant, the good, the bad and the really really ugly. 

  All very true, and very well said.   

Especially the part about loving enemas.     Hehe, but seriously you make very valid points. 

tsharon

SpringPeeper:

I fail to see how other people's misfortunes means that I am not allowed to complain about being uncomfortable or whine about some other TMI pregnancy side effects. I'm not going to complain directly TO you, but I don't have to love every minute.

Don't you dare complain about not liking your dinner because some people don't get enough to eat!

I really don't see how those two things are even REMOTELY comparable. 

NativeFloridian

rayofsunshine99:

Bink720:

rayofsunshine99:

I see what you're saying too.  My post wasn't really directed at people complaining on here, more just to say that it helps me get out of my own pity party when I think about people who would give anything to be in my shoes.  (not that their misfortune makes me feel better, just that it puts things in to perspective, that whatever I'm upset about isn't as big of a deal as I originally thought/felt)  KWIM?

ETA disclaimer, my own complaints I was referring to are also all minor things.  I have never experienced anything major like Pre-E, PTL, etc and I would imagine that having a lot of restrictions/complications is a very different story.  (in case anyone with serious complications thought that my post was a blanket statement for all 

ETA2 re: the bold, tsharon is part of the audience on this board and cannot conceive, so from her perspective, I can understand how it might be frustrating to see/hear us complain about something she would love to experience for herself.  I'm not saying that people should or shouldn't complain, just looking at it from all POV's  

I'm picking up what you're throwing down.  I definitely have things in my life I use to put different situations in perspective.  And I totally agree with there being a difference in somebody talking about a major complications vs complaining everyday that they are tired.  

I also think that I would feel differently if this FFFC was directed at somebody IRL that she has to interact with.  Like a coworker, relative, etc and you are kind of stuck in that situation where you have to listen and be supportive.  Even if they are being inconsiderate to your struggles and situation. I would be more sympathetic.  That's a much tougher situation.  

But the difference is that she comes here.  She comes seeking out our posts about pregnancies and our experiences.  And then makes a post saying she's sick of hearing about everyone complain about pregnancy symptoms and that we should "shut up and enjoy it." This isn't us going out of our way to make her feel bad and it doesn't mean that we don't appreciate the gifts we've been given.  But pregnancy isn't all puppies and rainbows.  I have been very blessed to have a healthy pregnancy, that didn't make my impacted stool any better, it didn't make the nights I spent throwing up blood any easier and these aren't even complications.  Just normal side effects.  Being told to shut up and enjoy it from someone who hasn't spent the day in the ER getting enemas doesn't feel nice.  Especially when I feel like none of us can say anything back because then we are insensitive to her situation.  Even though she's not showing sensitivity to ours.  I understand I may get flamed for that last statement, but it's true.

I'm not saying that Tsharon (or anyone else in a non-traditional situation) can't or shouldn't be apart of the community.  She obviously already is.  But just like she is trying to make us be aware of how lucky we are.  She needs to understand that it's not easy for most of us either.  And that if she's going to seek out a pregnancy forum, we are going to talk about being pregnant, the good, the bad and the really really ugly. 

  All very true, and very well said.   

Especially the part about loving enemas.     Hehe, but seriously you make very valid points. 

 In general, I don't see a problem with complaining OR complaining about complaining.  We're all here, we all know what goes on here, and we all keep coming back.  By now we should know what to expect.

Honestly, especially considering that the UO and FFFC threads exist, we should already be comfortable with the fact that everyone is going to b!tch about something, and that not everyone is going to agree with said b!tching.

So I'm pretty sure that if you're allowed to say that tsharon or any "spectator" has to deal with the input because they're part of a community, then you should deal with their input on the matter as well, since they ARE part of the community and their experiences and complaints are just as valid as anyone else's.

(Edit: Nasty double-typo.  Ugh.)

tsharon

Grace0609:

SpringPeeper:

I fail to see how other people's misfortunes means that I am not allowed to complain about being uncomfortable or whine about some other TMI pregnancy side effects. I'm not going to complain directly TO you, but I don't have to love every minute.

Don't you dare complain about not liking your dinner because some people don't get enough to eat!

I WILL complain about feeling like #$I* for 9 months.  It doesn't make me any less grateful to have this baby.

Well you just go for it.  What a lucky thing to be able to whine about.

tsharon

kelsea1031:

Grace0609:

SpringPeeper:

I fail to see how other people's misfortunes means that I am not allowed to complain about being uncomfortable or whine about some other TMI pregnancy side effects. I'm not going to complain directly TO you, but I don't have to love every minute.

Don't you dare complain about not liking your dinner because some people don't get enough to eat!

I WILL complain about feeling like #$I* for 9 months.  It doesn't make me any less grateful to have this baby.

I'm in agreement. When I was pregnant with DD, I freakin' LOVED being pregnant. You heard no complaints from me and I just couldn't understand why people could complain about such a miracle. 

Fast forward to now and I find myself miserable. I am on multiple medications to stop preterm labor (all of which have debilitating side effects), have been battling contractions since 15 weeks, am still puking daily despite zofran, have had multiple kidney infections and had to have a stent placed just so I could pee without feeling like I was going to pass out, and have had three lengthy hospital stays and two surgeries. That's not including the "normal" pregnancy issues like constipation and heartburn.

Am I thanking God every.single.day that I'm still pregnant and have a healthy baby? You betcha! Am I wishing that this pregnancy was over already? No freaking way! Does that make me any less physically miserable? Not a chance. FTR, I try to keep it to just my DH and mom and I'm not going to complain to everyone who will listen, but that doesn't mean I can't feel bad about what I'm dealing with.

With so many complications, I can understand why it would be scarier for you. You're SO not the type of person I'm talking about.  And I'm sorry you're dealing with all this scary stuff.   

tsharon

MsAmeera25:

I'm sick of people telling me to stop shopping for my baby and wait for the baby shower. I bought my travel system the other night and my girlfriend says you may as well cancel the shower since you keep shopping. In my head i'm like STFU. The way everyone keeps talking about my spending habits annoy me and i'm going to be pissed if at my shower this kid doesn't get everything on my registry plus some. Seems like i'm dammned if I buy and dammned if I expect gifts so just shut up and let me shop.

OMG!  Me too!  So frustrating. I don't care if I get ANYTHING at the shower.  Just stop bothering me about it!

tsharon

Enigma11:

SpringPeeper:

I fail to see how other people's misfortunes means that I am not allowed to complain about being uncomfortable or whine about some other TMI pregnancy side effects. I'm not going to complain directly TO you, but I don't have to love every minute. Don't you dare complain about not liking your dinner because some people don't get enough to eat!

I agree with this and I just wanted to add, because I know how special this time is and I know this is my last pregnancy I feel terribly guilty for being anything less than over joyed by everything about it. Sometimes you just need to vent about the less than comfortable aspects of pregnacy.

And that's why this board is here.  I'm not talking about people like you.  Honestly. There's a big difference between people like you and people who are always whining and have no respect for the gift they've been given. 

lovelyday39

tsharon:

Grace0609:

SpringPeeper:

I fail to see how other people's misfortunes means that I am not allowed to complain about being uncomfortable or whine about some other TMI pregnancy side effects. I'm not going to complain directly TO you, but I don't have to love every minute.

Don't you dare complain about not liking your dinner because some people don't get enough to eat!

I WILL complain about feeling like #$I* for 9 months.  It doesn't make me any less grateful to have this baby.

Well you just go for it.  What a lucky thing to be able to whine about.

tsharon- I think it's really sucky of you to try and make other people feel bad/guilty when they are having a hard time w/pregnancy and want to talk about it on a pregnancy board.

tsharon

rayofsunshine99:

Re: complaining.... When I was pregnant with DS (it was unplanned) and I complained a lot about all the discomforts of being pregnant.  This pregnancy was very much planned for and we lost two babies during the 14 months we were trying.  There are times that I get frustrated about something and think to complain and then I think about my friends who are struggling/unable to get pregnant and how they would give anything to have heartburn, sleepless nights or have people telling them that they look 'way farther along than they are'.  (something I just complained about the other day)   I try to keep voicing these complaints to a minimum, and even more so, when I'm feeling frustrated or annoyed by a pregnancy related thing, it helps to "check myself" and remember how lucky I am.  Suddenly the thing(s) I was irritated about don't really seem like a big deal.

 

I think I love you.   

tsharon

JSS1002:

Telling somebody how you feel (physically or otherwise) is not necessarily complaining, as much as it sometimes is just stating a fact.  Like, if somebody asks me how I feel, or how I'm doing, I'm going to TELL them, but it doesn't mean I'm complaining, I'm just answering a question.

The inability to recognize this bothers me.

 

That's different.  Even those of us not carrying can see that there are things that happen that can't be much fun.  It's not the talking about it, it's the people that whine.   

tsharon

Bink720:

rayofsunshine99:

Re: complaining.... When I was pregnant with DS (it was unplanned) and I complained a lot about all the discomforts of being pregnant.  This pregnancy was very much planned for and we lost two babies during the 14 months we were trying.  There are times that I get frustrated about something and think to complain and then I think about my friends who are struggling/unable to get pregnant and how they would give anything to have heartburn, sleepless nights or have people telling them that they look 'way farther along than they are'.  (something I just complained about the other day)   I try to keep voicing these complaints to a minimum, and even more so, when I'm feeling frustrated or annoyed by a pregnancy related thing, it helps to "check myself" and remember how lucky I am.  Suddenly the thing(s) I was irritated about don't really seem like a big deal.

I'm totally with you on the feeling grateful and remembering that I'm really lucky.  On the flip side, I think you need to know your audience.  I would never call one of my friends that is TTC or is struggling with IF and complain.  I don't even bring up my pregnancy unless they ask.  But coming onto a pregnancy board and saying you are sick of hearing people complain about being pregnant.  This is where we are supposed to complain and commiserate.  I do it here so I don't feel the need to put it on people IRL.   I think if someone doesn't want to hear people b!tch about being pregnant, they shouldn't spend so much time on a pregnancy board.  I don't think it's very fair to go to a pregnancy board and make women feel bad for talking about what they are going through.

Hahaha, yeah. I totally don't belong here. I get it. You're a real peach, aren't you? Keep whining about how miserable you are. It only makes you look stupid.  And don't "hint" again that I shouldn't spend so much time on this board. I've earned my right to be here.  I've supported these ladies, been excited for these ladies, commiserated with these ladies...I've been a part of their journey, as they have been mine.  So suck it.

skidderdo

I at tres leches today at the Christmas party.... full knowing it was "con rum"

skidderdo

*ate

tsharon

rayofsunshine99:

Bink720:

rayofsunshine99:

Re: complaining.... When I was pregnant with DS (it was unplanned) and I complained a lot about all the discomforts of being pregnant.  This pregnancy was very much planned for and we lost two babies during the 14 months we were trying.  There are times that I get frustrated about something and think to complain and then I think about my friends who are struggling/unable to get pregnant and how they would give anything to have heartburn, sleepless nights or have people telling them that they look 'way farther along than they are'.  (something I just complained about the other day)   I try to keep voicing these complaints to a minimum, and even more so, when I'm feeling frustrated or annoyed by a pregnancy related thing, it helps to "check myself" and remember how lucky I am.  Suddenly the thing(s) I was irritated about don't really seem like a big deal.

I'm totally with you on the feeling grateful and remembering that I'm really lucky.  On the flip side, I think you need to know your audience.  I would never call one of my friends that is TTC or is struggling with IF and complain.  I don't even bring up my pregnancy unless they ask.  But coming onto a pregnancy board and saying you are sick of hearing people complain about being pregnant.  This is where we are supposed to complain and commiserate.  I do it here so I don't feel the need to put it on people IRL.   I think if someone doesn't want to hear people b!tch about being pregnant, they shouldn't spend so much time on a pregnancy board.  I don't think it's very fair to go to a pregnancy board and make women feel bad for talking about what they are going through.

I see what you're saying too.  My post wasn't really directed at people complaining on here, more just to say that it helps me get out of my own pity party when I think about people who would give anything to be in my shoes.  (not that their misfortune makes me feel better, just that it puts things in to perspective, that whatever I'm upset about isn't as big of a deal as I originally thought/felt)  KWIM?

ETA disclaimer, my own complaints I was referring to are also all minor things.  I have never experienced anything major like Pre-E, PTL, etc and I would imagine that having a lot of restrictions/complications is a very different story.  (in case anyone with serious complications thought that my post was a blanket statement for all 

ETA2 re: the bold, tsharon is part of the audience on this board and cannot conceive, so from her perspective, I can understand how it might be frustrating to see/hear us complain about something she would love to experience for herself.  I'm not saying that people should or shouldn't complain, just looking at it from all POV's  

 And I'm NOT talking about the people who ask questions about symptoms, or complain about feeling badly, or are having scary pregnancies.  I'm talking about the people who whine constantly and don't seem to have any appreciation at all for the gift of growing their child.  And thank you so much for taking to time to see it from my perspective!   

tsharon

rayofsunshine99:

Bink720:

rayofsunshine99:

Re: complaining.... When I was pregnant with DS (it was unplanned) and I complained a lot about all the discomforts of being pregnant.  This pregnancy was very much planned for and we lost two babies during the 14 months we were trying.  There are times that I get frustrated about something and think to complain and then I think about my friends who are struggling/unable to get pregnant and how they would give anything to have heartburn, sleepless nights or have people telling them that they look 'way farther along than they are'.  (something I just complained about the other day)   I try to keep voicing these complaints to a minimum, and even more so, when I'm feeling frustrated or annoyed by a pregnancy related thing, it helps to "check myself" and remember how lucky I am.  Suddenly the thing(s) I was irritated about don't really seem like a big deal.

I'm totally with you on the feeling grateful and remembering that I'm really lucky.  On the flip side, I think you need to know your audience.  I would never call one of my friends that is TTC or is struggling with IF and complain.  I don't even bring up my pregnancy unless they ask.  But coming onto a pregnancy board and saying you are sick of hearing people complain about being pregnant.  This is where we are supposed to complain and commiserate.  I do it here so I don't feel the need to put it on people IRL.   I think if someone doesn't want to hear people b!tch about being pregnant, they shouldn't spend so much time on a pregnancy board.  I don't think it's very fair to go to a pregnancy board and make women feel bad for talking about what they are going through.

I see what you're saying too.  My post wasn't really directed at people complaining on here, more just to say that it helps me get out of my own pity party when I think about people who would give anything to be in my shoes.  (not that their misfortune makes me feel better, just that it puts things in to perspective, that whatever I'm upset about isn't as big of a deal as I originally thought/felt)  KWIM?

ETA disclaimer, my own complaints I was referring to are also all minor things.  I have never experienced anything major like Pre-E, PTL, etc and I would imagine that having a lot of restrictions/complications is a very different story.  (in case anyone with serious complications thought that my post was a blanket statement for all 

ETA2 re: the bold, tsharon is part of the audience on this board and cannot conceive, so from her perspective, I can understand how it might be frustrating to see/hear us complain about something she would love to experience for herself.  I'm not saying that people should or shouldn't complain, just looking at it from all POV's  

 And I'm NOT talking about the people who ask questions about symptoms, or complain about feeling badly, or are having scary pregnancies.  I'm talking about the people who whine constantly and don't seem to have any appreciation at all for the gift of growing their child.  And thank you so much for taking to time to see it from my perspective!   

kelsea1031

tsharon:

JSS1002:

Telling somebody how you feel (physically or otherwise) is not necessarily complaining, as much as it sometimes is just stating a fact.  Like, if somebody asks me how I feel, or how I'm doing, I'm going to TELL them, but it doesn't mean I'm complaining, I'm just answering a question.

The inability to recognize this bothers me.

 

That's different.  Even those of us not carrying can see that there are things that happen that can't be much fun.  It's not the talking about it, it's the people that whine.   

This is a pregnancy board and if women want to whine about the not-so-joyous parts of pregnancy, so be it. If we follow this line of thinking then no one should be allowed to complain about their jobs because there are some women on this board who are un/underemployed. No one should be allowed to whine/vent about their H's because there are single moms on the board. And so on and so on. 

Tsharon, you said in your response to my post that I was not the type of person you were talking about. But in your original post, you never specified, you just said pregnant women should  "frankly, shut up and enjoy it." 

skidderdo

Wait... is that the point of this thread? To confess something?! 

tsharon

Bink720:

rayofsunshine99:

I see what you're saying too.  My post wasn't really directed at people complaining on here, more just to say that it helps me get out of my own pity party when I think about people who would give anything to be in my shoes.  (not that their misfortune makes me feel better, just that it puts things in to perspective, that whatever I'm upset about isn't as big of a deal as I originally thought/felt)  KWIM?

ETA disclaimer, my own complaints I was referring to are also all minor things.  I have never experienced anything major like Pre-E, PTL, etc and I would imagine that having a lot of restrictions/complications is a very different story.  (in case anyone with serious complications thought that my post was a blanket statement for all 

ETA2 re: the bold, tsharon is part of the audience on this board and cannot conceive, so from her perspective, I can understand how it might be frustrating to see/hear us complain about something she would love to experience for herself.  I'm not saying that people should or shouldn't complain, just looking at it from all POV's  

I'm picking up what you're throwing down.  I definitely have things in my life I use to put different situations in perspective.  And I totally agree with there being a difference in somebody talking about a major complications vs complaining everyday that they are tired.  

I also think that I would feel differently if this FFFC was directed at somebody IRL that she has to interact with.  Like a coworker, relative, etc and you are kind of stuck in that situation where you have to listen and be supportive.  Even if they are being inconsiderate to your struggles and situation. I would be more sympathetic.  That's a much tougher situation.  

But the difference is that she comes here.  She comes seeking out our posts about pregnancies and our experiences.  And then makes a post saying she's sick of hearing about everyone complain about pregnancy symptoms and that we should "shut up and enjoy it." This isn't us going out of our way to make her feel bad and it doesn't mean that we don't appreciate the gifts we've been given.  But pregnancy isn't all puppies and rainbows.  I have been very blessed to have a healthy pregnancy, that didn't make my impacted stool any better, it didn't make the nights I spent throwing up blood any easier and these aren't even complications.  Just normal side effects.  Being told to shut up and enjoy it from someone who hasn't spent the day in the ER getting enemas doesn't feel nice.  Especially when I feel like none of us can say anything back because then we are insensitive to her situation.  Even though she's not showing sensitivity to ours.  I understand I may get flamed for that last statement, but it's true.

I'm not saying that Tsharon (or anyone else in a non-traditional situation) can't or shouldn't be apart of the community.  She obviously already is.  But just like she is trying to make us be aware of how lucky we are.  She needs to understand that it's not easy for most of us either.  And that if she's going to seek out a pregnancy forum, we are going to talk about being pregnant, the good, the bad and the really really ugly. 

I'm not PC.  You don't need to tiptoe around my situation.  I can't carry a child, and that's okay.  You don't need to show any sensitivity about it, cause I'm not sensitive about it.  And clearly you haven't spent much time on this board, because I've been very supportive of the ladies on this board, and they have been to me.  I have been very sensitive.  You're way off on this, and now you're starting to annoy me.  You want to whine about your pregnancy?  Have at it. But don't think there aren't people out there who get tired of hearing it.

tsharon

NativeFloridian:

rayofsunshine99:

Bink720:

rayofsunshine99:

I see what you're saying too.  My post wasn't really directed at people complaining on here, more just to say that it helps me get out of my own pity party when I think about people who would give anything to be in my shoes.  (not that their misfortune makes me feel better, just that it puts things in to perspective, that whatever I'm upset about isn't as big of a deal as I originally thought/felt)  KWIM?

ETA disclaimer, my own complaints I was referring to are also all minor things.  I have never experienced anything major like Pre-E, PTL, etc and I would imagine that having a lot of restrictions/complications is a very different story.  (in case anyone with serious complications thought that my post was a blanket statement for all 

ETA2 re: the bold, tsharon is part of the audience on this board and cannot conceive, so from her perspective, I can understand how it might be frustrating to see/hear us complain about something she would love to experience for herself.  I'm not saying that people should or shouldn't complain, just looking at it from all POV's  

I'm picking up what you're throwing down.  I definitely have things in my life I use to put different situations in perspective.  And I totally agree with there being a difference in somebody talking about a major complications vs complaining everyday that they are tired.  

I also think that I would feel differently if this FFFC was directed at somebody IRL that she has to interact with.  Like a coworker, relative, etc and you are kind of stuck in that situation where you have to listen and be supportive.  Even if they are being inconsiderate to your struggles and situation. I would be more sympathetic.  That's a much tougher situation.  

But the difference is that she comes here.  She comes seeking out our posts about pregnancies and our experiences.  And then makes a post saying she's sick of hearing about everyone complain about pregnancy symptoms and that we should "shut up and enjoy it." This isn't us going out of our way to make her feel bad and it doesn't mean that we don't appreciate the gifts we've been given.  But pregnancy isn't all puppies and rainbows.  I have been very blessed to have a healthy pregnancy, that didn't make my impacted stool any better, it didn't make the nights I spent throwing up blood any easier and these aren't even complications.  Just normal side effects.  Being told to shut up and enjoy it from someone who hasn't spent the day in the ER getting enemas doesn't feel nice.  Especially when I feel like none of us can say anything back because then we are insensitive to her situation.  Even though she's not showing sensitivity to ours.  I understand I may get flamed for that last statement, but it's true.

I'm not saying that Tsharon (or anyone else in a non-traditional situation) can't or shouldn't be apart of the community.  She obviously already is.  But just like she is trying to make us be aware of how lucky we are.  She needs to understand that it's not easy for most of us either.  And that if she's going to seek out a pregnancy forum, we are going to talk about being pregnant, the good, the bad and the really really ugly. 

  All very true, and very well said.   

Especially the part about loving enemas.     Hehe, but seriously you make very valid points. 

 In general, I don't see a problem with complaining OR complaining about complaining.  We're all here, we all know what goes on here, and we all keep coming back.  By now we should know what to expect.

Honestly, especially considering that the UO and FFFC threads exist, we should already be comfortable with the fact that everyone is going to b!tch about something, and that not everyone is going to agree with said b!tching.

So I'm pretty sure that if you're allowed to say that tsharon or any "spectator" has to deal with the input because they're part of a community, then you should deal with their input on the matter as well, since they ARE part of the community and their experiences and complaints are just as valid as anyone else's.

(Edit: Nasty double-typo.  Ugh.)

You're my bestest friend in the whole, widest world!     

Bink720

tsharon:

Grace0609:

SpringPeeper:

I fail to see how other people's misfortunes means that I am not allowed to complain about being uncomfortable or whine about some other TMI pregnancy side effects. I'm not going to complain directly TO you, but I don't have to love every minute. 

Don't you dare complain about not liking your dinner because some people don't get enough to eat!

I WILL complain about feeling like #$I* for 9 months.  It doesn't make me any less grateful to have this baby.

Well you just go for it.  What a lucky thing to be able to whine about.

 

This disgusts me.  The fact that you are coming here and making people feel bad about talking about their pregnancy on a pregnancy board is horrible.  And not only that, but you go after Grace.  Who is possibly the most supportive person on this entire board.  You should feel bad. 

 

tsharon:

Bink720:

rayofsunshine99:

Re: complaining.... When I was pregnant with DS (it was unplanned) and I complained a lot about all the discomforts of being pregnant.  This pregnancy was very much planned for and we lost two babies during the 14 months we were trying.  There are times that I get frustrated about something and think to complain and then I think about my friends who are struggling/unable to get pregnant and how they would give anything to have heartburn, sleepless nights or have people telling them that they look 'way farther along than they are'.  (something I just complained about the other day)   I try to keep voicing these complaints to a minimum, and even more so, when I'm feeling frustrated or annoyed by a pregnancy related thing, it helps to "check myself" and remember how lucky I am.  Suddenly the thing(s) I was irritated about don't really seem like a big deal.

I'm totally with you on the feeling grateful and remembering that I'm really lucky.  On the flip side, I think you need to know your audience.  I would never call one of my friends that is TTC or is struggling with IF and complain.  I don't even bring up my pregnancy unless they ask.  But coming onto a pregnancy board and saying you are sick of hearing people complain about being pregnant.  This is where we are supposed to complain and commiserate.  I do it here so I don't feel the need to put it on people IRL.   I think if someone doesn't want to hear people b!tch about being pregnant, they shouldn't spend so much time on a pregnancy board.  I don't think it's very fair to go to a pregnancy board and make women feel bad for talking about what they are going through.

Hahaha, yeah. I totally don't belong here. I get it. You're a real peach, aren't you? Keep whining about how miserable you are. It only makes you look stupid.  And don't "hint" again that I shouldn't spend so much time on this board. I've earned my right to be here.  I've supported these ladies, been excited for these ladies, commiserated with these ladies...I've been a part of their journey, as they have been mine.  So suck it.

You should really read entire threads before you go and choose to respond to each one individually.  If you had bothered to  read my follow up I said you were already a member of the community, but that sensitivity goes both ways.  I don't know what has happened to you today to make you think it's ok to treat everybody this way, but it's not.  I spent a lot of time forming my responses, because I didn't want to offend you or anyone else on this board who may be in a similar situation.  I shouldn't have wasted my time.  This tantrum you are throwing, trying to make everyone feel bad isn't ok.  And the only person it is a reflection on is you.