Bitter over others' pregnancies

3litttlebirds

Had a friend just announce her pregnancy. This is the first pregnancy announcement I've heard since DS was born and I was surprised at how bitter it made me feel. 

I had always planned to have 2 children, but after having a difficult pregnancy with DS due to an abnormally shaped uterus (which I didn't know about before pregnancy), DH and I will not be having more children. I thought I was pretty okay with that, but see now that I'm more hurt by the idea of not having anymore children than I thought. I'm also jealous that others' get to enjoy their pregnancies, while mine was rough and stressful from the very start. 

Just a vent. Know you ladies can relate.  

Bluebird2318

I COMPLETELY understand, and it's making me want to completely avoid Facebook for just that reason... Like you, I have always thought I wanted 2 children... DH doesn't want any more children (although he toyed with the idea after DD was born). I can't say for sure that we won't have another, but it sure doesn't look good and it just kills me every day. : I have a very hard time bearing all the pregnancy announcements (and at 24 years old, all of my peers are about at that time in their lives--I can think of 7 girls off the top of my head who are currently pregnant). One girl just announced that she is 17 weeks pregnant with her second... She just had her first on June 16th of this year, about 2 weeks before my DD was born. So basically she's on her way to 2 under 1. I'm way more jealous than I really care to admit. Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful and blessed just to have DD, but to think that I may never get to see her with a sibling hurts.

So I definitely know where you are coming from. It's hard when you feel like everything/everyone is making the important decisions for you. But at the end of the day you just have to remember... You are a mom, and that would be true whether you had 1 or 2 or 10. I think most of the ladies here can relate to your feelings in one form or another, so there's nothing wrong with feeling bitter or needing to express that. 

jcsntms06

I think a part of me is still bitter even after so many years/months. I'm very jealous of those women who go on to have healthy FT pregnancy. I look at my girls now and I'm very blessed at how far they have come and what I have. That keeps me going and I try to squash those feelings. With time your feeling will heal, but I don't think the pain ever goes away.

Hang in there! 

Kadyra

I felt that way after ds1. But I, stupidly perhaps, caught baby fever again and changed my mind. Ds2's pregnancy was a little too eventful for me. Live him to pieces but I shudder at the thought of going through it again. Since I'm at creepy crawly phase, I am in no way upset about our decision. Especially with this god awful extended newborn phase! Most of my friends are two and done. One is thinking about a second and another about a fourth. And I have two friends struggling with IF. My friend with one has a difficult child and seeing her struggle with two would not make me envious. I think four is nuts. And I'd be nothing but thrilled for my friends with IF. So since my friends are at this stage, I'm ok with it. I was not after ds1.

Wow that was a roundabout way if saying that!