Family and the holidays?

Macy628

Our doc said not to take him out of the house and limit his exposure until I have to go back to work in January.  So...  Things are a bit touchy with my brother in law and his wife (pretty sure they don't like me much...LONG story).  They will be in the area for Christmas so, along with my in-laws, we will be celebrating together.  It doesn't seem like people "get" that my preemie isn't able to get out, be held, be around germs, etc...  They came over last week, unannounced, with their  3 year old (who had a cold), and she was running around our house, touching everything (his swing, blankets, boppy, burp clothes) so after she left, I had to wash everything.  

Even my mother in law (who is great) and father in law don't really understand that he really has to be limited in his exposure right now.  We usually host Christmas at our house, which I would rather do than going into another house, but I don't know how to keep my 3 year old niece (who is always sick it seems like) from touching him, getting in his stuff, etc...  I also heard that they would like to "hold him" at Christmas.  I suggested to DH that if it's going to be a problem, or make people upset, I'll just stay home with him and he can bring our older son to his parents or brother's house.

What are you all doing?  Am I being too worried about this?

rjade9

Ds is still in the nicu but our families know if he is home for Christmas we won't be going anywhere. Dh will take older ds to fil Xmas morning then spend the day at home. We told everyone right away and they're fine with it.

rslhmg

CurlingRocks:

We used the term "Immune deficiency"

I think curlingrocks posted  this on another thread and I started using it, and it freaked ppl out enough they stopped hassling me about her restrictions. With the exception of a very inconsiderate mother in the drs office waiting room who allowed her germy, runny nose, coughing toddler to keep trying to get in DD's carseat. (The nurse helped me scrub and sanitize DD asap) but other then that one inconsiderate b**** we didn't even know, we have had no issues since dropping the phrase immune deficiency.

Macy628

Loving that "Immune deficiency" term.  Maybe something so official sounding will get through to them (???).  My DH keeps saying, "Well, he's going to the babysitters in January so maybe he needs to be around people."  ::Head smack::  I suggested that I just stay home when they all have the big family get together/dinner thing and he said we'd talk about it later.  

 My DH doesn't want to tick anyone in his family off.  My in-laws thought I was overprotective of my first DS so I have a feeling they think I'm doing that with DS #2.  I'm going to have to fight this one on my own I think.

DrRx

Usm123:

I have flat out said to people "if he even gets a cough he will be hospitalized again and possibly die." I'm matter of fact and if anyone would like to dispute this they are welcome to go sit in the NICU for 4 months and figure it out. We won't be going back! Inlaws and family obligations during the holidays suck and having a preemie makes it even worse. It has made me firmer and I try not to feel guilty for protecting my son.

This!

We went to a family reunion type of thing where we all stayed in the same house back in September.  Adalyn was 7 months old and had been off the oxygen for about 6 weeks.  Our niece and nephew showed up sick (snot coming out and crusted on their nose--disgusting).  We knew we should of have turned around and gotten on a plane and cut the trip short, but we decided to continue to stay with the family and just be really cautious (wiping tables and chairs all the time, avoiding sitting on the sofa or rug, not playing or holding niece and nephew, etc).  Well, a few days later the other nephew got the bug, and then Adalyn got a runny nose.  Then a fever.  Then we were freaking the **out and came home a day early.  It was absolutely miserable, with the nose sucking and the saline.  It was so stressful that the family trip was not even close to being worth it.  I felt so much guilt that DH and I vowed right then and there that, at least until she is older and no longer needing Synagis, we would never let her stay or be with people who might even appear to be sick.  Events, get-togethers, family gatherings, etc, was not worth the worry and fear, and sheer torture, that the cold brought.  

GL!