Intro and Question

hey_its_jenn

Good Morning! 

I've been lurking for a few weeks now so I feel like I should probably introduce myself.  We are very, very early in the stages (just requesting information from different agencies right now).  My DH and I have been married about 3 and a half years with no luck in the TTC department.  (see siggy below).  Thanks for letting me lurk for so long!

Question - I've been seeing that a lot of agencies require a physical as part as their acceptance process, which I understand.  I'm just worried because my DH has had some medical issues, but nothing contagious.  He has MS, just got over Testicular Cancer (thank the good Lord that nothing spread to his lymph-nodes), eczema and irritable bowel syndrome.  Would any of these things disqualify him?  I just don't want to start this process and have us not get accepted and it would be something from his medical issues.  He was surprisingly okay with the cancer, but I'm not sure how he would react to something that like... Or am I just completely crazy and over thinking it, like I do everything else? 

donmitch79

Welcome! I am a stage 4 colon cancer survivor and my husband and I are pursuing domestic infant adoption. I too had this worry beginning the process but it hasn't been an issue. With our initial registration, my oncologist wrote a letter stating that I have a normal life expectancy based on my prior treatment and I am currently in good health. We will disclose my medical past to the BM, once we are matched but our sw's were not phased by my prior cancer diagnosis.  The medical forms from our agency were very generic and because I am currently doing really, really well, it wasn't even mentioned on the completed forms. We disclosed the information to our agency but it wouldn't even have come up if we didn't say something. 

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Dr.Loretta

Welcome!

Pretty much every place you adopt from is going to require some sort of physical. The point of them is to give some indication that you're expected to live a normal lifespan.

If you have any concerns that any of your DH's conditions could impact his ability to adopt, I would strongly encourage you to ask that of every agency you're considering, upfront. They will be able to give you an idea of whether it will disqualify you or not.

IMO the MS is the only red flag I see, but again, if he's being treated and his dr can attest to it being treated and under control, it shouldn't automatically disqualify you.

GL and let us know how it goes.

crene84

I'm in NC so I'm not sure if it matters state to state, but here we were able to go to Urgent Care and pay $30 for a physical.  It was barely anything..just the standard check--weight, blood pressure, etc...and then they marked "yes/no" to if you could care for a child.  So, for us, serious health issues wouldn't have mattered if we had them.  Good luck!

hey_its_jenn

Thank you so much for the wonderful welcome and for putting my mind at ease!  I will definitely make it one of the first questions we ask when we meet with the different agencies.   

DaisyZH

Welcome to the board!!  I don't have any experience yet with the physical process, but it looks like you have some great advice   Also totally understand the overthinking, I do the same thing.  Congratulations on your decision to adopt!

ycristina84

Different agencies have different policies, as do different countries. I know that there are several international programs that will not let you adopt unless you have been cancer free for 5 years. Just do a lot of research, I guarantee you' ll find a great match for you!

hey_its_jenn

ycristina84:

Different agencies have different policies, as do different countries. I know that there are several international programs that will not let you adopt unless you have been cancer free for 5 years. Just do a lot of research, I guarantee you' ll find a great match for you!

5 years!  Oh my goodness!  I was thinking maybe it could be a year or 2 but 5! Thank you SO much for the heads up - that question just made it to the top of my list of questions!  

donmitch79

Because of my past cancer diagnosis, we cannot do international adoption. Only domestic, which is so interesting. The rationale we have been told from sw's is that the international governments control the adoption process and it is too "high risk" for children, just in case I get sick again. We've been told the same thing from a few different agencies, so domestic adoption it is for us! 

mommytoconnor

I wouldn't worry about the physical.. The only thing that would possibly put a red flag up is his MS, they would be concerned he wouldn't be able to take care of a child if he deteriorated.  Many people with MS lead totally normal lives for decades.  If you are relatively healthy then there shouldn't be a problem.  Agencies like to see that if you have an issue, you know your resources and how you overcome them. So don't worry about the cancer, eczema, or IBS thing at all.

sgb721

Our form was a pretty generic physical form that really didn't go into detail about any medical concerns so I think it will be fine. Best of luck!