How do you feel about fundraising for IVF?

hunnybunny614

At work today, i found a letter taped to the soap dispenser in the bathroom. It was for a website called giveforward.com. One of my coworkers is trying to raise money for IVF. I know her and her husband have been trying to have a baby for awhile, I just can't decide what i think of it.

We have a large office think 90 people, and for me that's a bit too public to put that much personal info out for all to see. On the other hand, I realize IVF is expensive. What do you think?

aml+japan

Unless you know your child is going to be the next Mother Theresa or someone, I'd say that's the same as raising money so you can get a new car. Asking for help among your family, maybe. Asking the general public, no.

sharksfan

Yeah, no.  I agree, ask family-maybe.  IVF is expensive, yes, but so are kids once they are here.  Where does the asking for money stop?  They gonna fundraise for college tuition?  Disney vacations?  Not appropriate. 

jwls84

I don't think I would do it personally! I think it is not something that is the general publics responsibility to privies funding for. I agree with PP, where does asking for money stop?

HappyAardvark

Ugh. I'm sorry she's in that situation, but it just feels squicky and inappropriate to me. I wish this were not even an issue and your employer's healthcare or her h's healthcare covered IVF. Don't even get me started on the inequity of it all.

But to your point, I am pretty opposed to fundraising in the office, except for GS cookies, because, let's be real, them s hits are delicious. And IMO, unless it's a life or death situation, medical fundraising should not be brought into the workplace. Just because I can see some idiot jackas s saying "well, Debbie did a fundraiser for her ivf, why can't I do one for the tummy tuck and boob job I want?"

anasazi17

I don't think it's cool...but I do feel for them, it's such a stressful and emotional situation.   Perhaps she should just do a kickstarter?  Then offer things like god parent, cut the cord, etc to the highest donor.

pennysuedog

My son's first grade teacher, who is also a friend of my sister, had been going through fertility problems and they found out their only hope was IVF.  My sister and a bunch of teachers got together and had a huge garage sale they went around and asked friends and family for donations for the garage sale.  they probably got over a hundred families to donate.  They raised 6k to give to the teacher. She now has a little 2 year old girl. 

I think this is OK because they didn't do it themselves, it was friends and I was happy to donate and to buy things at the sale because, I saw the heart break she was going through. 

hunnybunny614

I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling strange about it. I felt a little insensitive, but i think she should have shared with only her close friends, not the entire office.

cantalopes24

That is really weird to me. I can understand the concept and her sharing if someone asked but to just tape it up in the bathroom is weird and presumptuous. Is it even allowed at your company? While I understand IF is heartbreaking everyone deals with things and putting your business out there and asking coworkers for money isn't.appropriate.

adge629

That is just a little to weird for me. That's like asking your co-workers to get you a boob job or tummy tuck. I realize it is completely different but it feels the same. I could see asking family and close friends but not your extended co-workers

Liz4444

pennysuedog:

My son's first grade teacher, who is also a friend of my sister, had been going through fertility problems and they found out their only hope was IVF.  My sister and a bunch of teachers got together and had a huge garage sale they went around and asked friends and family for donations for the garage sale.  they probably got over a hundred families to donate.  They raised 6k to give to the teacher. She now has a little 2 year old girl. 

I think this is OK because they didn't do it themselves, it was friends and I was happy to donate and to buy things at the sale because, I saw the heart break she was going through. 

I'm surprised as a teacher that her health insurance didn't cover it.  My friend's SIL is a public school teacher and her health insurance covered 5 rounds of IVF.  Public school teachers may be paid s-hit around here, but they have phenomenal health insurance. 

 

pennysuedog

Liz4444:

pennysuedog:

My son's first grade teacher, who is also a friend of my sister, had been going through fertility problems and they found out their only hope was IVF.  My sister and a bunch of teachers got together and had a huge garage sale they went around and asked friends and family for donations for the garage sale.  they probably got over a hundred families to donate.  They raised 6k to give to the teacher. She now has a little 2 year old girl. 

I think this is OK because they didn't do it themselves, it was friends and I was happy to donate and to buy things at the sale because, I saw the heart break she was going through. 

I'm surprised as a teacher that her health insurance didn't cover it.  My friend's SIL is a public school teacher and her health insurance covered 5 rounds of IVF.  Public school teachers may be paid s-hit around here, but they have phenomenal health insurance. 

 

 

I think it goes by district, what your health insurance is like.  It was not covered for them.  My sister is a teacher in the same district she complains about her healthcare just as much as I do.  

cantalopes24

pennysuedog:

My son's first grade teacher, who is also a friend of my sister, had been going through fertility problems and they found out their only hope was IVF.nbsp; My sister and a bunch of teachers got together and had a huge garage sale they went around and asked friends and family for donations for the garage sale.nbsp; they probably got over a hundred families to donate.nbsp; They raised 6k to give to the teacher. She now has a little 2 year old girl.nbsp; I think this is OK because they didn't do it themselves, it was friends and I was happy to donate and to buy things at the sale because, I saw the heart break she was going through.nbsp;

But to me that's totally different because people were getting rid of things they don't need and people got something for their money. I think a fundraiser where someone is purchasing something and some of the profit is going to the cause are less tacky. Plus with the yard sale it's anonymous. With the website she can track who's donated and who hasn't.

pennysuedog

cantalopes24:

pennysuedog:

My son's first grade teacher, who is also a friend of my sister, had been going through fertility problems and they found out their only hope was IVF.nbsp; My sister and a bunch of teachers got together and had a huge garage sale they went around and asked friends and family for donations for the garage sale.nbsp; they probably got over a hundred families to donate.nbsp; They raised 6k to give to the teacher. She now has a little 2 year old girl.nbsp; I think this is OK because they didn't do it themselves, it was friends and I was happy to donate and to buy things at the sale because, I saw the heart break she was going through.nbsp;

But to me that's totally different because people were getting rid of things they don't need and people got something for their money. I think a fundraiser where someone is purchasing something and some of the profit is going to the cause are less tacky. Plus with the yard sale it's anonymous. With the website she can track who's donated and who hasn't.

Yeah, I agree putting up posters for yourself is tacky, sad, and desperate. 

I know that I would want to help my co-worker in this situation though too,  we are all pretty close though. 

CMonkey515

Liz4444:

pennysuedog:

My son's first grade teacher, who is also a friend of my sister, had been going through fertility problems and they found out their only hope was IVF.  My sister and a bunch of teachers got together and had a huge garage sale they went around and asked friends and family for donations for the garage sale.  they probably got over a hundred families to donate.  They raised 6k to give to the teacher. She now has a little 2 year old girl. 

I think this is OK because they didn't do it themselves, it was friends and I was happy to donate and to buy things at the sale because, I saw the heart break she was going through. 

I'm surprised as a teacher that her health insurance didn't cover it.  My friend's SIL is a public school teacher and her health insurance covered 5 rounds of IVF.  Public school teachers may be paid s-hit around here, but they have phenomenal health insurance. 

 

NJ is one of the few states that have an infertility mandate. So if your SIL's friend works in nj her insurance, by law, has to cover a certain amount of rounds of IVF. I agree with everyone that it's inappropriate for OP's coworker to be trying to raise money for her IVF at work. While I don't think it's even remotely the same thing as raising money for a new car or cosmetic surgery, there is no place for that sort of thing at work. It's just to personal of an issue. Then again I don't think fundraising for any purpose is appropriate at work.

missyishere

CMonkey515:

Liz4444:

pennysuedog:

My son's first grade teacher, who is also a friend of my sister, had been going through fertility problems and they found out their only hope was IVF.  My sister and a bunch of teachers got together and had a huge garage sale they went around and asked friends and family for donations for the garage sale.  they probably got over a hundred families to donate.  They raised 6k to give to the teacher. She now has a little 2 year old girl. 

I think this is OK because they didn't do it themselves, it was friends and I was happy to donate and to buy things at the sale because, I saw the heart break she was going through. 

I'm surprised as a teacher that her health insurance didn't cover it.  My friend's SIL is a public school teacher and her health insurance covered 5 rounds of IVF.  Public school teachers may be paid s-hit around here, but they have phenomenal health insurance. 

 

NJ is one of the few states that have an infertility mandate. So if your SIL's friend works in nj her insurance, by law, has to cover a certain amount of rounds of IVF. I agree with everyone that it's inappropriate for OP's coworker to be trying to raise money for her IVF at work. While I don't think it's even remotely the same thing as raising money for a new car or cosmetic surgery, there is no place for that sort of thing at work. It's just to personal of an issue. Then again I don't think fundraising for any purpose is appropriate at work.

This is how I feel. It's kind of like throwing yourself a baby shower; one does deserve assistance, but to ask for it is a total turn off. It's a no no in the workplace too.

joolz17

I agree with pretty much everyone: I think it's odd to raise money for that publicly/yourself. 

nikki2246

Having gone through several years of infertility struggles and haveing paid an large sum of money for treatments I can say I honestly think this is tacky. While I know first hand how overwhelming treatment can be and how hopeless is can seem some time especially from a financial stand point I do not see how it is okay to ask anyone to help foot the bill. There are several ways to raise the cash and if that can't happen you wait and save. JMO.