**** EPPHD ****

LucyPevensie

I wrote out a long response in Charla's post then realized that was kind of rude - hijacking her thread with info/opinions she really may not be interested in!  But you asked... so...

I didn't know this before I became a mom - but it turns out I'm not a sleep trainer.  I DID institute a bedtime routine around 3 months old or so - and sticking to that has definitely taught Jack that bath, jammies, stories, bottle = bedtime around 8:30 every night.  He does several hours in his crib - then wakes up - and comes to bed with me the rest of the night.  I didn't see myself doing THAT either - but I love it. 

I'm more of a Dr. Sears and a Dr. Jay Gordon fan than a Weissbluth or Ferber fan. Just the path that began to feel most natural to me.

All that said - you do have to find your own way, and your own rhythm.  If I can give one piece of advice it's - "don't listen to advice!"  Don't let other people (including me!) pressure you into thinking you have to do things "a certain way" or you'll spoil/ruin/createbadhabits/etc./etc.  They are only babies for a minute.  I have an almost one year old.  It goes too fast.  

As far as the sleep training, or lack thereof in my case, all I know is - some of the best moments of my life have been, and continue to be, rocking my son to sleep while he reaches up and holds my face and kisses it with his sleepy open mouth.  Heaven.

 

epphd

Thanks   I am definitely open to finding my own way - I know too many moms with too many distinct philosophies to believe that one size fits all.  Good to know what other "dogma" is out there though.

I confess that it's hard for me to even fathom putting a baby to bed.  In fact, it's terrifying!  But trial by fire is a really good way to learn!

LucyPevensie

E - I knew nothing - NOTHING - about caring for a newborn before I had Jack.  I thought I knew some things - I read books - I have nieces and nephews - but I had never cared for any of them as tiny babies - never even changed their dipes.  I was a total and complete rookie - and I did some things "wrong" and made some mistakes and I'll make more - but you really, really do begin to just figure stuff out. 

It's very "noisy" at first - the baby's cries, your utter and total exhaustion, your hormones (and truly - you will be chemically altered after the birth because when that placenta comes out - you are BEREFT of all of those hormones it was secreting just like POOF!  and so you will cry every day or nearly every day and feel like a kook until that rights itself), the unsolicited advice, the uncertainty - it's noisy.  And you look for things to quiet that noise - solutions - solicited advice - reassurance.  Eventually though - it does quiet down.  You look at your baby and realize you two have a thing going on - and you're OK - and he's OK - and you are his mom and are honest to goodness caring for him and parenting him.

It's amazing stuff.  Kind of awful at first (well, once you get home from the hospital - at the hospital it's euphoric and great, first day home is good too - then - it gets sort of awful.  But it gets better.  Wonderful.)

It is trial by fire and you get a pail of water and close your eyes and throw it!  You're gonna do great!