Facebook. WDYD?
+just+j+
member
So now things are rolling, I have tons of questions obviously and facebook is one of them.
How many of you are still facebook friends wtih your ex? I'm considering dropping H soon. It created enough drama with him in our marriage, that I think I would just like to unfriend him.Maybe if we ever get to a good place, I'll friend him again.
Also, good friends of mine announced their divorce on facebook. Believe it or not, it was done very tastefully. They however, get a long extremely well and it was a mature, mutual thing.
I am considering doing this so I can just get the news out and be done with it and not have to string out telling people over the course of the year. Everyone close to me who should know prior to this, knows. It's more the peripheral friends and family I don't see or speak to much that may not hear thru the grapevine.
What do you think? Tacky? Or if worded in non-drama like fashion and a, "thanks for your love and support in the past and going forward" kind of statement, would that be okay?
And when did you change your status from married to single? I'm thinking it's probably best to do when the divorce is final, but I would really looooooove to do it now. I will most likely wait for the legal notification and update my name to my maiden again at the same time too.
Re: Facebook. WDYD?
I think if the paperwork is filed it would be ok to just change your status to single. That is the announcement. No drama and the explanation in clear.
I would defriend your H and everyone that is negatively tied to him. He drags drama into your life and there isn't any reason to think that will change. Anything that you want to share with him can be done in an e-mail which you can always bcc to yourself to have for your records in the event you ever need any.
Good luck!
All of this
I Change my answer to this.
Here's what I would do; stay friends with him so you can see anything he posts that you would need to use, but block him from all your posts and photos. Change your relationship status from "married" to "single" and let that be your announcement. When everything is legalized I would change your name at that time.
I changed my status to single about a week after we broke up. But I let him know when I did it and we both immediately deleted it from our news feed. It went pretty unnoticed. I also didn't change my status to single, I just deleted that we were engaged and removed any relationship status.
I deleted and blocked my ex from Facebook about 1.5 years after we split. I found out he was having a baby with his new girlfriend when they mentioned it on his wall. I honestly was hurt. I thought that such a life changing event for our son warranted a quick heads up directly. I deleted after that because I didn't want to have to learn about things on Facebook or read about their pregnancy.
I kept my ex-ILs and a few other of his family members. I make an effort to email him the pictures of Jake that I post online.
Tif - I agree with you. I really don't care about keeping track of him or his kids anymore. It's time to close this door to that crazy ass drama and move on.
To want to keep track of H and his kids would be absolutely insane. I think I've dwelled in that crap long enough.His kids and family are all already blocked on my facebook and that will never change.
Time to end this craziness.
For now H will have a very limited view.
My DH and I are friends on FB with his ExW, the BM. He never goes on FB and I have now restricted her from my account. She friended me originally, but now has blocked me from the majority of her posts. I do a print screen of her page every few days and our lawyer is very interested in pursuing a cyber harassment case against her, based on what she is posting and who she is choosing as an audience (I read the privacy settings and rules very carefully. You can see if there is a limited audience to a post and she posts a lot of stuff just for the two of us). If he gets nasty, it may be helpful in the long run to keep him as a restricted friend.
Just my own situation. Good luck!!!!!
To be honest, I would delete all of the extended family, but keep my EX. ONLY because we have a child together and this is a good way to keep tabs on him.
Hell, in your case, I would lock down your site, but keep everyone to keep tabs on them all to protect your child.
J, the reason I would keep him especially for now is if by some freak chance he tries to get extra visitation of custody then you could see what is going on before you have DD go with him. And if you delete him you will not likely get him back as FB friend if you felt needed. But you need to have the selfcontrol on not checking for other reasons.
My ex and I are cordial coparents now, but I would never friend him on facebook. We separated and divorced before I had a facebook
Even though we get along well enough, he's been such a vindictive prick in the past I try to keep him out of details of my life, and am very superficial with him. I will likely never let my guard down with him...so no facebook friending him.