DH just asked me if I was getting fixed

bgf1

DH is working nights right now. tonight at dinner about 20 minutes before he had to leave he asks me if I was" getting fixed" when I have my c section. Outside of being a bit offended I was really surprised because when we agreed to try to conceive number 2 we talked about waiting a year after before deciding if we're done having kids. During this conversation I also asked Dh if he would have a vasectomy if when were done. He changed the subject quickly.

We haven't talked about it since then.but tonight he told me he's been telling people who ask but he sure we're done. When I asked why he said pregnancy was obviously hard on me he didn't think I'd wanna do it again. This really pissed me off. I am irritated he had been talking to others about this and I feel like if my husband has really been worried about how hard this pregnancy was on me he would be picking up a little more slack around here the last 9 months.

I think he hasn't really liked the extra responsibilities that he's finding with me not doing quite as much as I migjt normally and a toddler to look after. I'm also mad because if
he's really worried about how hard is on my body then why is he suggesting that I " get fixed". Maybe it's just hormones but Ive felt like my DH has been pretty selfish this pregnancy. I should probably just let it go for now but I really want to unload on him about this in the morning. Would this piss you off or am I a crazy pregnant lady stereotype?
pregnancy.

RondackHiker

I'd be pissed if he talked to people without talking to me.

covertxxamour

bearsbearsbears:

RondackHiker:

I'd be pissed if he talked to people without talking to me.

Agreed.  You sounded reasonably PO'd about this, not hormonal. 

 All of this.  

mom2pottamus

Sounds like he is panicking a bit...my husband was happy but aloof my 2nd pregnancy and strangely in denial about the whole thing and right about 35 weeks he lost his shiit.  He later told me he was totally not mentally prepared for #2.  Explained some of his wacko behavior...at this point I would tell him no there is no getting fixed and see what happens later.  If you haven't planned it from the get go now isn't a great time to make that decision..

CoffeeBeen

covertxxamour:

bearsbearsbears:

RondackHiker:

I'd be pissed if he talked to people without talking to me.

Agreed.  You sounded reasonably PO'd about this, not hormonal. 

 All of this.  

Yup, sounds like he's being a ***. 

RondackHiker

I'd ask why he was shifting from the plan. And other than what he said before, I would be annoyed at how he brought it up.

I could see him as being freaked, like PP stated. I do wonder what you mean about him not being supportive.

klondikebar

Maybe he has had a change of heart, but that's something that you should thoroughly discuss together before the world hears about it. I'd be upset a little.

LoveBeingAWife33008

covertxxamour:

bearsbearsbears:

RondackHiker:

I'd be pissed if he talked to people without talking to me.

Agreed.  You sounded reasonably PO'd about this, not hormonal. 

 All of this.  

yep.

bgf1

Thanks for the replies. Sorry I am bumping from my phone and don't know how to quote. Thanks to the poster who suggested DH may be freaking out. I will keep that in mind when we do talk about this.
I didn't know until one month ago I am having a RCS, so my thought was that he would have the vasectomy. We had agreed not to do anything permanent about birth control until number two was at least a year old so I am very surprised that he would think I am having a tubal ligation in 3 weeks. This c section section will be my 5 th abdominal surgery so the idea that I should have anything else done outside of what is necessary is making me angry. Especially DH presenting it as about what is on my best interest because "you obviously find pregnancy hard," rather than taking some ownership on the decision even if just to say he would rather not be the one to be sterilized or just to admit that he thinks he will be maxed out as a dad of two. Which is I guess what I need to say to him in the morning.

sadsadie

crystalbaby:

LoveBeingAWife33008:

covertxxamour:

bearsbearsbears:

RondackHiker:

I'd be pissed if he talked to people without talking to me.

Agreed.  You sounded reasonably PO'd about this, not hormonal. 

 All of this.  

yep.

^^ I agree.

I think that you definitely need to have a discussion with him and bring up your concerns. Tell him that you don't like that he has discussed your family with others before you even knew that was how he was feeling. I would be pissed. But I'm also not willing to get my tubes tied when MH can be snipped. 

total douchebaggery. You need to discuss A LOT of ***...or find a new husband. I'd flip if my husband a)talked to others about our family plans and b) asked me if I was getting "fixed." WTF?  

Kitiara5512

Somebody needs to shut his mouth or sumshit. Gaaah.