60 Things I Have Learned By Being a Bank Teller

lancyjo

I had to share this email. Working in a bank has its perks... but dealing with the public isn't always one of them! I hope I'm not the only person here who finds this funny!!!

 

60 Things I Have Learned By Being A Bank Teller

1. I know everyone in the world, so I never need to ask for ID.

2. "I'll be with you in one moment," means "Come right up here into my
business and breathe your popcorn breath in my face for a while."

3. Every bank in the world steals money from its customers,
particularly from the ones that don't keep a transaction register.

4. I'm always kidding when I tell people a check is not any good. I'm
a good kidder.

5. I know the balance of every account at the bank.

6. I am at the bank just because I feel like it. My window isn't
actually open when I say, "May I help you?"

7. I know everyone's account number.

8. I know everyone's address.

9. I don't understand how banking works.

10. I have to do whatever the person who gave my customer the check
said.

11. I don't know how to count.

12. I don't know how to add.

13. I don't know what the date is.

14. I can read everyone's mind.

15. If I ask for your social, I?m trying to steal your identity.

16. I know when every new coin will be arriving.

17. I know how much everyone?s bills are for the month.

18. We don't sell stamps.

19. We are just here for fun on most holidays, we're not really open.
We love it when you rub it in.

20. When someone asks how you want your cash back, you're supposed to wait
until I have it counted it back to you.

21. Apparently people have different definitions of commercial.

22. Your time is more important than mine. I have no life. When you
show up 5 minutes before we close to make 10 deposits or open a new
account, we don't mind.

23. Everyone with the Bank name tag is related.

24. I am also your secretary.

25. We love to place holds on your checks for fun. We are the only bank
that does it.

26. 9 hours and 10 minutes is not enough time for people to do their
business.

27. I am in charge of the never ending popcorn, smarties, lollipops,
and coffee.

28. It is polite to ignore someone when they say hello.

29. It is my fault when someone cuts you in line. I should have been
paying attention to you and not your money.

30. I know what a checkingdepositwithdrawal for savings is.

31. Being rude should make me want to help you more.

32. I am not really human. I should never make mistakes.

33. It is okay to walk into someone's office when their door is shut.

34. I have a secret collection of licenses in my cubby.

35. I can't hear. I need you to ding the bell 5 times in a row.

36. The sign that says "Next Window Please" is just for decoration.

37. I make people wait on purpose. It's fun to make them mad.

38. I know everyone's PIN number to their ATM card.

38. Fraud doesn't really happen to anyone. Therefore, I should give
everyone exactly what they want.

39. The coin machine is my favorite thing to do.

40. The bank gives out free poinsettias at Christmas. We order them for
you, not the bank. Display only means whatever you want it to mean.

41. Please and Thank You are forbidden words at the bank. We hate to
hear them.

42. Checking and Savings deposit slips are EXACTLY the same, we just
like all the pretty colors and wanted to make them more colorful.
Marking through the word savings changes the deposit slip completely!

43. When I tell someone the same thing over and over, I'm just doing it
for fun. I like to waste my breath.

44. We will break the rules for anybody as long as you gripe for more
than 10 minutes..

45. I am a professional coin counter. Even when the machine is broken,
I will count the coin for you by hand!

46. I am psychic. When you call I can recognize your voice and pull up
your information automatically. My computer is voice activated. It's all
that fancy technology we have.

47. You don't have to tell me that you've been with the bank for 50
years. I can tell.

48. Even after 5 years, I am a new teller to anyone wh
o has never seen me before. If I've never met you, I have no idea what I'm doing.

49. I make the rules for the banking industry. You can blame everything
on me!

50. I'm an idiot.

51. No you should not ever get your information ready while you are
waiting in that long line, wait till you get up to my window and then
look for all your stuff because the people in line want to wait longer.

52. Yes it is called a savings account so you might as well call it a
checkings and a money markets account!

53. When I ask you for your account number you are supposed to look at
me like I?m an idiot because I don?t have it memorized even though
you don?t either!

54. If you cannot tell me how much money you sent me in, then neither
can I.

55. I don?t need for you to tell me to have a good day when I tell
you to have one, because as we both know I have no soul and am just an
atm.

56. Yes please let me open the door just for you 15 minutes early
because we don?t really need to use a computer to do your transaction.

57. Yes the drive thru poles will jump out on front of you, they are
unpredictable like that!!

58. Now why in the world would you ever have to sign the back of your
check?

59. No I am sure it was not you that was on that porno site when you
accidentally authorized charges on your account, must have been your
dad!

60. I said how are you doing today and you said hi and that?s just
funny!!

 

Jen0204

I'll have to show this to H, he works at a bank. I'm sure he's dealt with a lot of these. I don't know how you guys do it, I don't think I would have the patience!

Favority

My husband and I both were tellers early on in our relationship and we both laughed at this list. I came from retail before working at the bank and bank customers were just as rude, if not more so than Christmas retail customers.  I left banking to go back to retail management, I don't know how you put up with it.

andreabean0929

That's funny. I used to work retail so I can relate. Working with the public is something else lol.

slv0606

Oh do I know all of this too well! I too am in retail banking, pretty sure our customers think we are concierge service not just a bank haha! Most days I have no clue how I made it through without losing my sh!t on some of the crazies! BUT there always are a few that are great and are appreciative of your services

lancyjo

slv0606:

Oh do I know all of this too well! I too am in retail banking, pretty sure our customers think we are concierge service not just a bank haha! Most days I have no clue how I made it through without losing my sh!t on some of the crazies! BUT there always are a few that are great and are appreciative of your services

Those are like a breath of fresh air!

fredpuma

Blech. I worked in a supermarket at both checkout and the deli through school. I have an extra special place in my heart for people who say things like 'what do you mean you won't except this coupon that is for an item I have not purchased and is also expired? This is ridiculous!' It's a dark place. You don't wanna go there.

jldubb0626

Lancy!! You're making me miss my job!! These were the highlights of my day that I lived and breathed for!

lancyjo

jldubb0626:

Lancy!! You're making me miss my job!! These were the highlights of my day that I lived and breathed for!

...and maybe when you get out of the psych ward, they'll let you have your job back...

Just kidding! Kind of... Actually, my bank is hiring two people right now. You should move to IN and join me! I'll let you have all of my crazies!

jldubb0626

My old position still hasn't been filled.. I  really think my old boss is waiting for me to change my mind and come back.

Shmogan09

I have never understood how when a teller or any professional says "Hi, how are you today?" how a normal person does not say "I'm good, how are you?"  Whenever I say that at the bank, or on the phone with a company operator, the person acts like I just told them they were beautiful!  How sad that the human race is so busy we have become so rude.

MrsLindinger0905

Oh my god this is perfect!!! I worked for a credit union for a few years and even though I liked the line of work I would never go back! It took all I had to keep my cool some days. I was making a few cold calls the week before I left and of course I got to call the rudest person I ever talked to. I hung up on him. It was the greatest moment of my life!!

MrsLindinger0905

I feel as if I've said every one of these at least one time in the time I worked at the credit union!

lancyjo

MrsLindinger0905:

Oh my god this is perfect!!! I worked for a credit union for a few years and even though I liked the line of work I would never go back! It took all I had to keep my cool some days. I was making a few cold calls the week before I left and of course I got to call the rudest person I ever talked to. I hung up on him. It was the greatest moment of my life!!

I've actually told a person that they need to leave the building until they can come back in and be respectful. They cussed me all the way out the door, but they were never rude in the branch again. People tend to forget that while yes, this is my job, I am also still a person and deserve to be treated with respect. I am nobody's doormat. Some tellers will take the disrespect... and they like it when I'm working, because I don't put up with disrespect out of anyone toward any of my tellers.  

Mistifier

How am I ever supposed to go back after my mat leave with this reminder?! lol

One that wasn't on there was when asking personal security questions, I am just a creep who will probably end up stalking you. 

lancyjo

Mistifier:

How am I ever supposed to go back after my mat leave with this reminder?! lol

One that wasn't on there was when asking personal security questions, I am just a creep who will probably end up stalking you. 

YES!!! I start asking those, and people always go, "What do you need to know that stuff for? That's nun uh urrr business!"

Riiight... because I should totally not be concerned with protecting your privacy.

MrsLindinger0905

lancyjo:

MrsLindinger0905:

Oh my god this is perfect!!! I worked for a credit union for a few years and even though I liked the line of work I would never go back! It took all I had to keep my cool some days. I was making a few cold calls the week before I left and of course I got to call the rudest person I ever talked to. I hung up on him. It was the greatest moment of my life!!

I've actually told a person that they need to leave the building until they can come back in and be respectful. They cussed me all the way out the door, but they were never rude in the branch again. People tend to forget that while yes, this is my job, I am also still a person and deserve to be treated with respect. I am nobody's doormat. Some tellers will take the disrespect... and they like it when I'm working, because I don't put up with disrespect out of anyone toward any of my tellers.  

That's awesome! I would probably have gotten fired if I ever tried anything like that!! I have pretty thick skin and could handle myself well when people were overly obnoxious. People go insane when it comes to their money!