Counseling question

10-4LilBuddy

With joint legal custody, can one parent prevent the other from bringing the child to a counselor?

Bkgd:  BM left the country for a job and left SD8 with us full time.  BM was previously the custodial parent and signed that over to us for the time that she is gone.  When we first discussed, DH and I mentioned to BM that SD would need to work through these issues with a therapist after BM left.  BM agreed that sounded reasonable.  We've been taking her to weekly sessions since her arrival at our house which have helped immensely with her anger and insecurity stemming from BM leaving her (they maintain some regular contact - set up by me - Skype and phone, but won't physically be in contact until the summer at least).  In Wednesday's call, SD mentions to BM that she really likes talking to her counselor.  BM flips out and accuses us of hiding this from her and that SD doesn't need counseling.  She threatened legal action - although I'm not sure how she could since she's out of country.

Can she prevent this?  SD needs to talk to a counselor.  She turns her anger and insecurity inward and is very self destructive without an objective person to help her constructively deal with everything.  We talked to the counselor yesterday who says SD is making huge strides and the enrichment exercises we do at home are really helping her.  We told BM she is free to call the counselor and talk to her, but BM wants to control who she talks to.  We are fortunate to have full coverage through our insurance, but only to certain providers. What can we do?  Or does she even have input? Ugh.

CFjo2010

Check with an attorney.  Different States have different guidelines for joint legal custody.  In CA, both parents have to give consent for medical/psychiatric care unless it's for normal check-ups or in the case of an emergency.  So essentially, if BM says your husband cannot take SD to counseling, then he would need to get a CO allowing him to do so.  It really sucks, I know.

twister22

jobalchak:

Check with an attorney.  Different States have different guidelines for joint legal custody.  In CA, both parents have to give consent for medical/psychiatric care unless it's for normal check-ups or in the case of an emergency.  So essentially, if BM says your husband cannot take SD to counseling, then he would need to get a CO allowing him to do so.  It really sucks, I know.

The bold. You said BM made DH the CP while she is out of the country, though? This might give him the right to keep SD in counseling without BM's consent regardless. 

mccall0113

See what the child's school can offer in the way of support.  Maybe you could get around the issue by using school resources and help the child out in the long run. Also check for support groups in your area for the child's age group.