A week ago today, my husband and I woke up excited for our afternoon anatomy scan. We were expecting twins and we're itching to find out what the sexes of our beautiful babies were.
My pregnancy was an uneventful one. I had little morning sickness and no complications until October 23rd when our world came crashing down around us.
For two weeks prior to the scan I was experiencing some discharge. It was mostly clear and sometimes contained some mucous and as far as my doctor was concerned it was completely normal. I also had the urge to pee every 10 minutes and felt a pressure in my lower abdomen.
Last Wednesday morning, I saw a tiny amount of blood on the toiled paper. After calling labor and delivery they instructed me to drink water and spend the rest of the day laying down until my a/s scan but if there was any more bleeding to head straight to the hospital.
Later that morning, again I wiped some blood and we rushed to labor and delivery where I was treated by a nurse who screened me for a UTI. The on call doc said I had no infection and that "sometimes bleeding happens" and "if it doesn't fill up a pad I shouldn't worry"
We left labor and delivery and headed home to wait for our anatomy scan that afternoon at 3 pm. We were relieved that the bleeding was "nothing" and waited patiently for the moment when we'd finally find out what we were having.
We were thrilled when we found out that we were expecting two twin girls. They were active, had great heartbeats and were waving and bouncing around for us on the screen. They were both measuring ahead and the a/s scan showed that they were 100% normal and doing fine.
My cervix on the other hand looked "completely open" and before we even knew what was happening I was rushed back to the hospital with very grim hope that my babies would survive.
I was placed in the upside down position for 3 days, given antibiotics and the discussion of whether an emergency cerclage would be placed was being discussed. I was 3 cm dilated at this point with bulging membranes.
By Friday, my OBGYN was contacted by a huge university hospital that was willing to perform the procedure. Friday afternoon I was transferred via ambulance with high hopes that the cerclage would be placed and all this would have only been a bad dream.
On Saturday morning, the MFM arrived to see me and explained how risky the procedure would be seeing as I was carrying twins, dilated to 4 cm and the membranes were bulging.
We were given the option to stay on bedrest although they guaranteed that my water would break sooner than later and that infection would eventually set in, have the cerglage which would break my water or cause infection or make the most difficult decision and terminate our pregnancy.
At first, we were going to go with the cerclage but once examined there was not enough cervix left. We were left with no choices.
At 7:31 pm and 8:41 pm our beautiful angels Emma and Jianna were born. They were fighters and tried to stay with us but only last 10 minutes in this world.
We held them, kissed them and imagined what our lives would have been like with them before we had to hand them over and accept that life will simply never be the same.
They were perfect in every single way. Tiny perfect angels who were not given a chance.
Our hearts and shattered, broken and empty. We're trying to recover and wanted to share my story as a way to remember the events of the last week and let the world know how incredibly beautiful my angels were.
me (31) & dh (36)
bfp 04/06/12 - 21 week twin loss 27/10/12 DX: Incompetent Cervix
17/11/12 - hemorrhage and d&c
Feb. TTCAL siggy challenge - favorite love story (book or movie)
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. ~ Ghandi
PGAL/PAL always welcome!