+1 for Disney?!?

msditz00

It is amazing how life workssometimes.  As I have said before, it took us so long to get licensed through DCF.  Then in September we got a new social worker and everything was done in just a few weeks.

Right when we found out we are licensed, we also found out a relative of my husband had hit a hard patch.  She signed temporary custody of her 2 year old over to her mom (DH's aunt).  The aunt doesn't feel that it is best for M, the little girl, to be with her.  So we will be taking her until the mom is back on her feet.

We take a yearly trip to Disney, and will be leaving in 5 weeks.  As long as we can get written permission, it looks like we will be going as a family of 5!  We are excited, but it will suck to bite the bullet and pay $550 for the plane tickets.

For those who have had guardianship of a relative - any tips, words of wisdom?  I am dreading Thanksgiving.  The aunt already told us that M's mother will want her that day.  But I am concerned about leaving her.  Ugh, I don't even know what our rights are, since it isn't technically foster care.  Hurricane Sandra is going to make it hard for me to get answers from our social worker for at least a week I would assume.  But I guess I can wait - we can't take M until I get day care set up, and most of them are closed til Tues or Wed around here due to the storm.

Sorry for the rambling post, I am so overwhelmed.  Yes, we were prepared to open our home to kids.  But this is a very different situation than what we were expecting.

DaisyZH

Wow, that is exciting but I'm sure it's a little confusing - hopefully once the storm calms down your social worker could give you some guidance.

As a side note, how neat that you'll be able to go to Disney with a 2 year old, that will be so much fun!

Prayers for you during this transition time, I hope everything goes smoothly : ) 

lizlemon2

No advice, but I think it is great that you are taking in a family member and also planning on including them on your vacation.  As a SW, I see many people that say no to those situations.

Wishing you all the best!

msditz00

I couldn't imagine not bringing her.  I think it would be so rough on her to live with us for a few weeks, then be sent away for a week, and then take her back.  Not to mention there really would be nowhere for her to go - day care will be quite a drive from any other family member who could possibly watch her.

I just wish this storm would quick go and change directions so I can get all this straightened out.

msditz00

toothpastechica:

We have temp custody of my nephew (and recieved awesome news that my bro can get custody back at the end of november!...he loves his daddy so we are thrilled, even though we are bit aprehensive as to if he's really ready..)

If you are liscenced to be a foster home do you have a social worker who you can talk to about what kinship care means in your state? In our case we treat him as ours, we are allowed to take him anywhere in the province but need written permission from his case worker if we go out of province since he was removed by child protection from my brother (and his gf at the time), our sw has told us it wont be hard to get if we want to go to the states or something.

We are allowed to let anyone babysit him, and as of this summer even his dad can have him for the whole weekend alone if we decide its safe/appropriate, so now he has lots of time with his daddy to try and help him to make the transition back easier in november.

If theres a chance at all they will go back home, its in the best intrest of the child to have a good relationship with the parent, and to not restrict thier access if there are no safety concerns...you may or may not feel comfortable leaving the child with thier mother unsupervised or not, but if you are the legal gardian, its up to you or the caseworker, not her if it will be supervised by you or not. Every kinship care case seems to be different based on how much concern the state has, or even if the state is even involved (if a parent voluntarily gives over custody for a period I beleive that can go through lawers and not even have social workers involved if they have never had a child protection case open with that parent) so getting in touch with a social worker is probably your best bet to figure out what exactally are your legal limitations/rights in this kinship care situation.

If you are realated, could you not invite thier mother over for thanksgiving so that she can be with her kid without you feeling like you need to leave her with her the whole day? or was that when you are going away? I couldn't make that distinction by your post.

Thanksgiving is the only holiday where we see my husband's dad's side of the family.  M is from my husband's mom's side of the family.  We travel out of state to go, and having everyone at our house instead is not an option (my house is way too small, and I barely have enough pots/dishes for just us let alone feeding 20 people).

We do have a social worker and a support worker, so as soon as things die down from the storm we will contact them (right now we are getting lots of emails from DCF about preparing special needs/technology dependent kids for the storm and emergency evacuations, so I do not want to take up their time asking until life settles down here in CT).

The child's mom willingly signed over rights to her mom (my husband's aunt), there was no open DCF case.  I am just worried about sending M to Thanksgiving when it will just be her mom (suffering from addiction) and grandfather ( suffering from alcoholism) there.  I know M's mom loves her and I really do want them reunited, but I also understand addiction is not a choice, and want to be sure that M will be safe. 

I cannot wait to get a social worker's ear and find out exactly how this whole situation should be handled!