pt'ing fail

mylittlesunshine

DD1 turned 3 yesterday. When I went to pick her up our in-home provider made the comment that DD1 was the first child she has cared for that wasn't potty trained by the time she turned 3. She has been caring for children for a long time so I felt like I am failing DD1 big time. She goes potty in our toilet at home and has even told me when she needs to pee. I always said I wasn't going to force pt'ing, rather just go at DD1's pace.

The only thing that makes it not sting so bad is we learned that our provider doesn't have a potty ring or anything. She just sits the kids on the potty and holds onto them. I have tried that with DD1 and she hates this and won't pee without being on a potty ring. So DH and I bought a ring for our daycare providers house. Hopefully she will start pee'ing in the potty now.

Sigh...I hope we have fixed the problem, I just feel like a failure.

KathrynMD

you're not a failure - tell your daycare lady to STFU w/ the guilt trip.

It sounds like your LO is at or close to be PT'd if she's going at home and telling you.  She doesn't like the daycare's potty and I'll bet the daycare lady isn't being terribly helpful or patient with her either. 

hansa11

My son is your daughter's age and is at the same stage in the potty training process.  He can tell us when he has to go and only uses diapers at night...but, he will not go on any potty except his potty chair, and oddly enough, only when the potty chair is in a specific bathroom.  On a few occassions we've gotten him to sit on a regular toilet elsewhere, but he hasn't gone.  He's at home with a nanny during the day, so for the most part, he can always go at home. 

I'm sorry your daycare provider made you feel so guilty.  You shouldn't feel like a failure!  A lot of people push potty training because of peer pressure (suddenly all their friends' kids are potty training) or because of preschool.  But waiting until your daughter is ready and going at her pace is perfectly fine, in my opinion. 

Meanwhile, instead of making you feel guilty, I think your daycare provider needs to work with you so you're on the same page.  Ask her how she normally potty trains kids.  If you think bringing in a potty ring will help, she should be open to that. 

UberBiz

Do not feel guilty! There is such tremendous pressure on parents to potty train earlier and earlier... I didn't push my daughter, because every time we did (between the ages of 2 and 3) she would rebel. She'd sit on the potty, and then pee the second she was up with pants on. EVERY TIME. I finally let her be and she was diaper free AND mostly accident free (twice at night, and a few times she didn't make it in time because she was busy playing) by 3 1/2.

Hopefully bringing in the potty seat to the daycare provider will help her there as well! Sounds like she's doing good otherwise, so don't stress!