crying well after the "few minutes" I leave her at school/daycare

Erinmmo

my just turned 2 yr old daugher started school/daycare last week.  She goes 2x a week.  The 1st day she cried for an hour straight then calmed- the 2nd time she didnt cry when I left but got upset midday right before nap- but they said she was tired and went to sleep a little before all the other kids.  The 3rd time I was informed she was 100% better- participated, ran into the place when we got there appeared to be happy to be there.  Didnt even care I left when I said goodbye. 

 Today is the 4th time and she cried so hard and didnt want me to leave- I called and she is calmer but resistant to doing things. 

 Why is she regressing?  I have no concerns about the place.  In fact when I picked her up the 3rd time she was so happy and in a good mood the rest of the night.

This is torture for me- I hate this.  I keep telling myself she has to get use to this.  I have to work and I really want her around other kids 2x a week. 

 

 

SallyCampos22

I'll bet it has something to do with the 2x a week. We found when we had brought DS back to daycare after keeping him home with a friend/sitter, he did better when he was there for a straight week rather than just once or twice a week. The time between makes it tough for them to adjust. 

I know it's hard, but if she's only been going 4x she just needs more time to adjust. Do you have a special blanket or stuffed animal that she could have just for daycare? When we let DS keep his angel dear blankets with him all day instead of just at naptime, that seemed to soothe him when he first started back full-time.

 

((hugs)) I know how you feel, she'll start to love going soon I promise! 

mamainseptember

SallyCampos22:

I'll bet it has something to do with the 2x a week. We found when we had brought DS back to daycare after keeping him home with a friend/sitter, he did better when he was there for a straight week rather than just once or twice a week. The time between makes it tough for them to adjust. 

I know it's hard, but if she's only been going 4x she just needs more time to adjust. Do you have a special blanket or stuffed animal that she could have just for daycare? When we let DS keep his angel dear blankets with him all day instead of just at naptime, that seemed to soothe him when he first started back full-time.

 

((hugs)) I know how you feel, she'll start to love going soon I promise! 

Yup, 2 times a week isn't enough. She is going to have a hard time adjusting to being there 2 times a week then being home 5 days a week. My DS was in daycare last winter 2 days a week and I had to up it to 3 days because he had an awful time adjusting, the 3rd day REALLY helped! Good luck!! 

Erinmmo

mamainseptember:

SallyCampos22:

I

Yup, 2 times a week isn't enough. She is going to have a hard time adjusting to being there 2 times a week then being home 5 days a week. My DS was in daycare last winter 2 days a week and I had to up it to 3 days because he had an awful time adjusting, the 3rd day REALLY helped! Good luck!! 

I totally hear what you are saying but I figured if I could keep her home as much as possible that was good too- daddy watches her in the house 2 days- takes her to the playgound, they play, go for a walk, etc and I watch her one day- so she gets lots of one on one time.  I did the daycare thing so she could get use to being around other kids and listening to other adults.  So I am torn about putting her in another day bc I like her being with me ya know?

Parenting is so hard!!! 

mrsseguin

DS cried for about 6 months straight at drop off's.  It's so heartbreaking, but it usually doesn't last long.  Hopefully things will improve soon.  I wouldn't call it regressing since she didn't cry on the 3rd day, then did on the 4th.  It takes time for them to get used to the routine, and them knowing you'll be back to pick them up.

Jen&Len

DS had a rough transition his first year (last year) and was generally unhappy to be dropped off most of the year.  He didn't cry after the first week, but he threw fits at home before we had to leave the house and sometimes in the parking lot when we arrived.  The teachers say he was okay during the day and was always smiling when I picked him up.

Does she have a lovey she can bring?  The teachers let DS bring his lovey to school for the entire year.  After the first few months, they convinced him to keep the lovey in his backpack, but he was still allowed to have it in school.  

If it makes you feel any better, this year has been completely different.  DS LOVES school and asks on weekends why there isn't school.  He rushes to get dressed in the morning (he used to take forever or just refuse to change out of his PJ's) and charges off in front of me as we walk to his classroom.  Once he's there, he's practically rushing me out the door!

It will get better...just hang in there!

heymommy

It's only the 4th day. It takes time.

 

The 2x a week thing does make it take longer to get use to. 

MMMiller

Maybe I am reading this wrong but it sounds like she doesn't have to go to daycare? My son stays with his grandmothers while we are at work and as a result doesn't spend a lot of time with other kids or listening to other adult's directions.  I signed him up for a sports class where they do a lot of physical activities...he gets both the exposure to other kids and listening to adults.  Is there a class your daughter could join? Like gymnastics or dance? I find the time that he spends with us and his grandmothers is very important to me.  I don't see the draw to daycare if you don't have to do it.

diamondgyal16

I work at a daycare and I would have to agree she needs more time to adjust. I had a baby in the infant room who only came 3 times a week and he was miserable. He cried a lot but now he comes full time and its like he is a whole new baby. So I would say your little one needs the time to adjust. If you can afford it try sending her full time.

dragon_chica

I also agree that it'll take longer since she's not there everyday.  If you can imagine a FT DC child may take up to a week to adjust.  If your child is only going twice a week then it may be almost a month before she fully adjusts.  And even then kids can regress at any moment's notice.  They like to keep us on our toes, KWIM?  Also, if you have the ability to stay home with her and you're just sending her to DC for socialization and a more structured environment I would recommend looking into a co-op preschool.  I did that with DD when I was working PT.  She went from about 13 months-20 months and it was great.  It was twice a week and a parent was required to be there.  If I didn't go back to work FT we would've stayed there and she would've moved up to the older classes where parent participation lessens but you still volunteer once or twice a week.