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October 2011 Moms
btsrc5
member
Married 08/18/07
BFP 02/15/11 EDD 10/27/11 Born at 35w3d on 09/25/11
BFP 10/13/12 EDD 06/25/13 Born at 37w0d on 06/04/13
Judgment Day
btsrc5
member
the board has been so slow... maybe this will liven things up?
Married 08/18/07
BFP 02/15/11 EDD 10/27/11 Born at 35w3d on 09/25/11
BFP 10/13/12 EDD 06/25/13 Born at 37w0d on 06/04/13
BFP 12/11/15 EDD 08/23/16 Early miscarriage
BFP 02/02/16 EDD 10/16/16
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Judgment Day
I judge those parents who say "they don't have to time to read to their child." And then they have the nerve to ask why their 2 yr old isn't saying any letters or numbers or colors. Sure kids develop at their own pace, but why not give them a head-start in life? Reading is fun for them, a chance to bond and even 1 book a day can make a difference. Whether you work FT, PT or are a SAHM, I just don't see how you couldn't read to them.
This excludes infants though. I never read to my infants. I just didn't think of it. But both my kids love to read books and I am already seeing how much it has affect my 2yr's development.
The teacher in me is going to disagree with you there. I've read to C since day one. I agree with you, reading is so important. Congratulations on reading to your kids and that's awesome that you can see it in your 2 year old!
I know I probably should have and I'm not saying it's a bad idea... I'm just saying that I don't judge those who don't read to their infants. I didn't think of it with #1, and didn't have time with #2.
I judge myself when I go out without a bra on (with a sweatshirt on). But sometimes I really just don't care...
DH read every night to his first daughter once she was a toddler, and she LOVES to read and is incredibly intelligent. She is now almost 10, and they still read together. Reading to our DD was the best thing I did for her sleeping schedule. She just loves it! I'm fortunate to be a SAHM, and we read 3-4 books every nap/bedtime. I agree it's important not just for educational purposes, but it is also a bonding time.
I will get another book out while she bites on the other book just long enough to distract her. I will then take away the one she was biting after a few seconds. I try to get out a book she really likes to get involved in, like the pop up books, so she forgets about the biting book.
Or when they wiggle and cry and have no interest in sitting there? My 5 year old still gets up and walks away half way through a book. Lo will sit there all day long and look at them but E has no interest or attention span.
We keep her nicer books (the ones with real paper pages) out of reach until she's old enough not to eat them. She reads (and sometimes eats) board books for now. I feel like, even if she's taking a bite now and then, she's still getting the feel for the book, trying to turn pages, etc.
I also leave books around casually for her to discover herself. The bottom shelf on her book shelf has a few stuffed animals and a few books. We stack books next to her play kitchen, too. She goes for the books before toys about 1/2 the time.
Burned by the Bear
This is why I don't read to infants.
I usually just read before nap and bed, any extra is a bonus. If they are not looking at the books you are supposed to keep reading while they play. I don't always do this, depends on my mood.
This is how they 'read', discovering the book, learning to turn the pages. I keep board books for him to do this with. Books are cheap if you get them handed down or purchase them at a discount store. I'd rather have a 'well loved' book around instead of a pristine book sitting on a bookshelf. The well loved one was put to good use.
If they walk away, that's okay. At least they were there for a couple of minutes. Like the PP said, you can leave them out for self discovery, too.
ETA: Just wanted to add that I am not judging, just adding my opinion. Everyone here is doing what they can. Now if your kid comes to Kindergarten without knowing his letters, numbers, or can't even spell his/her own name? (I'm not talking about kids with disabilities here) Then I'll judge you.
I judge non-voters.
I know politics can get ugly. I know it is a pain to take the time out of your schedule to wait in line. I know that all politicians (even the ones I love) are self absorbed jerks.
I also know that I have it better than most people in the world. Some people wait in line for days to cast their votes. I know that women a few generations ago in my family didn't have a voice, as far as our country was concerned. I know that I want my daughter to see that her voice is important.
Even if you can't know every single thing about all of the candidates, you know what matters to you. Research your hotbuttons and find someone who respresents what you believe as closely as possible.
Burned by the Bear
I usually give her another board book to play with if she's getting distracted, but I keep reading the first one to her. Like others have said, we don't leave the paper-paged books around where she can get at them. But when you're reading to them, it's so that they have positive feelings and memories associated with books and reading, so that they're exposed to letters and words and the way that a book works (turning pages, right side up, front to back, etc.).
Chunstad, I agree about judging parents who have clearly not put effort into preparing their child for school, but I don't think that every child needs to or will be able to know all their letters, numbers and how to spell their name by kindergarten. A short name? Sure. I'm hoping Lily will be able to spell that, but probably not her full first name (Lillian). Plus around here there's now full day kindergarten starting in junior kindergarten. For babies born September or later like our LOs, that means all day every day starting at age 3!!!! (I judge the Ontario government for wasting money implementing this stupidity.) Lily will start school at the same time as our friends' daughter who was born January 2011; it's going to be a completely different ball game for the two girls!
BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010
BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011
BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013
Wow, age 3? That seems a bit wild, I can't believe that!! Maybe not ALL their colors, numbers, and letters, but they should know some. I was thinking of a certain kid in particular who had a 6 letter name. By the end of K, all he knew was the letter J and U. There was zero help at home, and he only attended 1/2 day K, so I could only do so much. It broke my heart, he really needed to stay back, but of course they pushed him right through to 1st.
Yes, Vote! but please inform yourself!
I have a couple of friends who have done the following and I have chewed them out.
They go into the election booth and they know who they are voting for in the big races, great!...but then they continue to vote for local elections that they have no clue about and just randomly voting for people based on name? Most of these candidates are not even aligned with a party (judges, sheriffs) Just stop marking the ballot!
That's actually why the government implemented it. They wanted to do subsidized daycare but there was a lot of opposition from the PC party, so the Liberals came up with all day kindergarten as a solution since it gives off the impression of being a great move for education. But it's hugely expensive for the government, so they've pulled all kinds of crap with the teachers (and other aspects of education) in order to pay for it. And studies show that there is absolutely no benefit to full day kindergarten. Plus the adult:student ratio in school is different from daycare, so instead of 4 or 5 kids per adult there's a max of 15 (a teacher and an early childhood educator for up to 30 kids). DH was in a JK class on the first day of school: several kids passed out in the middle of the floor because they're still used to having naps and there's no napping in Kindergarten.
BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010
BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011
BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013
I judge karinothing for the use of the word 'cray-cray'
All day K is a wonderful thing, I'm really surprised that there are studies that show that there is no difference between children that had full day vs. half day K. I sure as hell could tell the difference. Either way, in my opinion, it isn't developmentally appropriate for a 3 year old to be in full day k. LCass explained the reasons really well. Kindergarden =/= Daycare.
Yeah, I figured that was why it was implemented. I personally would be grateful. DS can't enter kinder till he is 6. So for ages 3-6 we will be spending a total of around 50K (and that is not counting tuition increases) for private pre-schoo/full day care. It is enormously beneficial to working parents and I think something the government should spend money on.
That being said. I think it should have the ratios required for private care and I think at age 3, the kids should still have naps (but they should begin to phase them out) to prepare them for kinder.
And I will have to disagree with you on there being no benefits to full day kinder, since I helped fight for full day kinder in my home state. Studies have shown greater gains in language development, higher academic achievement, socialization, and behavior control. These benefits show huge increases for kids that happen to be educatially or socially disadvantaged.
The negative benefits are usually deemed in terms of cost and parents perception of the programs.
Yeah, I figured that was why it was implemented. I personally would be grateful. DS can't enter kinder till he is 6. So for ages 3-6 we will be spending a total of around 50K (and that is not counting tuition increases) for private pre-schoo/full day care. It is enormously beneficial to working parents and I think something the government should spend money on.
That being said. I think it should have the ratios required for private care and I think at age 3, the kids should still have naps (but they should begin to phase them out) to prepare them for kinder.
And I will have to disagree with you on there being no benefits to full day kinder, since I helped fight for full day kinder in my home state. Studies have shown greater gains in language development, higher academic achievement, socialization, and behavior control. These benefits show huge increases for kids that happen to be educatially or socially disadvantaged.
The negative benefits are usually deemed in terms of cost and parents perception of the programs.
Exactly, Penny! (I know your real name isn't Penny, but I can't help myself!) I judge uneducated voters. I would much rather someone stay home and not vote over someone going out and voting without educating themselves on the issues just to say they voted. That is how people get in office that shouldn't be there, especially in local offices that a lot of people don't pay a lot of attention to.
I think that the studies I read about were related to full day JK, so it was saying that for 3/4 year olds there's no proven benefit. As I said before, I think they're just too young for a kindergarten set-up as opposed to a daycare one. That being said, I think that not being able to start kindergarten until age 6 is just as crazy as being forced to go all day every day at age 3. Full day kindergarten for kids who are 5 or will be turning 5 in the first couple of months of the school year is reasonable, I think. (Although I think that the old way we used to do it here of every other day and alternating Fridays worked really well, too.) But it absolutely boggles my mind when I think about Lily being at school all day every day just two short years from now.
BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010
BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011
BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013
BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010
BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011
BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013
You can start kinder at 5 here. However, he misses the cut off so we have to wait till 6. I have no issue with 3 year olds in all day care (as my 11 month old does amazing in it). But they really do need small ratios. It is insane to think of one teacher handling 15, 3 year olds or wahtever. I would lose my mind.
I judge the guy at Walmart who thinks because he drives a nice Mercedes that he doesn't have to park in the parking lot like the rest of us. Really?
Sorry the pic is sideways.
Exactly. If it was set up similarly to daycare, that would be a different case entirely. But a 15:1 ratio, no naps, strict curriculum to follow, etc. isn't fair on the little ones (or the teachers!).
BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010
BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011
BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013
I judge my mother. She flew in on Monday and has already managed to go on my nerves big time.
I have worked really hard to get Alastairto play independently. She has been on top of him every second. If I tell her to leave him be every now and then, I get the 'if you want to neglect him, it is your business, I won't.' kinda thing. Not cool.
Aidan needs hard taps to burp. He has issues. He screeches in pain if a bubble is stuck. She lightly taps him while he screams in pain and refuses to 'beat on him'. Well, no more feeding and or burping for you then. He is in pain. You cannot love or cuddle it away. He has to be helped physically, wether you like it or not. And nobody beats on him.
She is a nut job. Never happy about anything. It is annoying. She does not help at all, just adds additional stress and misery.
I don't judge them...I used to nanny and did stuff with my boss all of the time if I had nothing to do. So they may have one of those relationships where they also hang out together while the nanny is off duty. We would go to the zoo, the park, shopping, etc.
Booo, Nita. I'm sorry. How long is your mom staying for? Maybe at least her presence can whip your H into shape? Good luck, and feel free to vent here.
BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010
BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011
BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013
They have three kids they never wanted. While they don't neglect them food and clothing wise, they neglect them emotionally and mentally. They move every 6 to 12 months, and switched childcare every 6 months. I talked them into putting their almost five year old into preschool because he talked like his two year old brothers, could only count to 10, didn't know his colors or shapes, etc. and he needed to make friends his own age. He is so socially delayed. They finally put him in preschool part time and he loves it. Now they are thinking of taking him out because its inconvenient to them to have to drive him there three times a week, but its only 2 miles from their house. There is no structure in their house, the kids make the rules. The parents "parent" by putting movie after movie on tv to entertain them. In a 24hr period, they will spend about 4 "awake" hours with their kids. The rest of the time they are pawning the kids off on multiple caregivers....sometimes the kids will see three caregivers in one day. And on weekends they hang out with their kidfree friends going to concerts, going on vacation, and not spending time with their kids. They just traded in their family friendly vehicles for convertibles that only seat four when they are a family of five....because they know most of the time they don't have the kids and are going with another couple, or someone will have two of their kids and they will only have one kid with them.
I judge them.
Elsa, I don't know these people and I judge them, too.
Burned by the Bear
I am so glad that with a little convincing.....thanks Oct CDing moms!......I decided to give it a trial run. Now I am kicking myself for not doing it sooner. My CD are washed correctly and don't stink, and while washing it goes through so many rinse cycles there is no left over poo in my machine or in my utility sink where the water runs too. And diaper laundry is no biggie, it's clothes I never get around to washing, which was normal precloth anyway!
My cloth diaper judging days are over!
Yeah lady, I'm feeding my 1 year old bird seed... Seriously
I wish you had turned to her and said "tweet tweet". People are stupid.
I judge my childless friends who complain all the time that they never see me, but always cancel plans and then invite me over at 8 pm and say "bring the baby". Trust me, you don't want my LO coming to your townhouse with a million stairs an hour after bedtime. I can guarantee all I would be doing is following a whiny LO up and down the stairs, not sitting around drinking wine-super fun!
sigh, this reminds me of my DH's ex. Her children are very well behaved and smart, fortunately for her. She just quit her job and she plans to move her children and herself into her boyfriend's home. Btw, she hasn't even been dating him a year and hasn't even lived in her apartment a year. This is the 9th home and job in the last 9 years. These kids have no structure other than their fathers' homes. Luckily for my step-daughter, we have a very structured, consistent home. The ex has her priorities all effed up, and it drives me CRAZY! I mean, she's going to be 30 next year- get your sh!t together!
Thanks, LCass. 6 weeks. And no, my mother doesn't whip anything I to anything, much less shape. She is a nuisance. I don't even like her. It's probably more of a confession for tomorrow, but it is pure feeling of duty that I have not stoped contact entirely. She is awful. Now she has this idea of immigrating to Canada. Great. She doesn't speak English or French, nor does she even try. She also tries to guilt trip us into then buying something like a duplex together. We do not want this. In fact, if she moves here, it is fine, but there needs to be a bit of distance. Like twenty minutes in between places at least. She came here Monday and has had tearful fits about us not wanting to buy a duplex with her daily already. I mean....first she would have to apply for residency anyways, get approved, sell her stuff at home....but no, she chooses to be miserable . And I am so frucking sick of it.