If you've left LO overnight...
melissa0726
member
For those of you who have left your LOs overnight, who was your babysitter? And did you sitter come to your house, or did you pack up the kid(s) and leave them over at the sitter's for the night?
Our anniversary is coming up next month. I have always had it in my head that we'd be ready to leave DD overnight by this time, but as it approaches, I'm very skeptical. On one hand, a lot of my reservations were about her not STTN and still BFing. But for the past month she has been sleeping 10 hours overnight, and we haven't had a BFing session in over a week now. All good, right?
My problem is, she is still hit or miss about being left with anyone except DH, and we rarely get to go out together. When we do she cries really hard for about 5-10 mins, then settles down. But an hour or so after we're gone, she sometimes starts crying again and asks for mama and dada over and over. While I think our sitter (most likely my ILS) will be able to get her to bed, I'm really worried she'll wake up in the night and totally freak out if I'm not there.
My ILs mention regularly that they can't wait for her to come to their place for sleepovers, but I feel like that is a recipe for disaster. I think it would much better if they came and stayed here, but I'm still so worried she will be a mess. Maybe I need to get them to watch her more often before we try an overnight? Ok, I'm just venting my concerns at this point. Is this one of those things where I just need to decide to do it and go and hope for the best?
Re: If you've left LO overnight...
So I have never left LO over night but I have for bedtime. The first time it was at my mom's house where he is often. He cried and fussed for over an hour before they finally got him to bed. Only to have us show up soon after.
The next time I told my mom maybe she would just do supper at her house and then go to our house for bed time, but left the choice to her. She did this and he went down much easier.
I know it is stressful on your LO but let them know the situation of her waking up and possibly not likeing their comfort or a strange place and see what they choose. (hey they were warned if they don't get any sleep)
The other option is to wait until LO is to bed to go out. I do this one when visiting some times as he is harder to put to bed else where but getting better
I've seriously lost track of the number of nights my mom has taken DS for us. But we started early (I think he was 6-8 weeks) and while it was super hard for ME. He was too little to be phased by it, and now he loves spending time at grandmas and is just as comfortable there as he is at home. I would say on average she takes him at least once a month for us. This will increase as I get further into my pregnancy as she takes him the night before I have a prenatal appointment . My grandma goes over to my mom's house in time for mom to leave for work and grandma watches him until I get out of my appt. (I would have an insane amount of driving if we did it otherwise). L does fine and I think it's because we have instilled in him that grandmas (my mom's) house is a safe fun place to be from the start.
Now for your situation my thoughts are this: your LO will NEVER get used to being at someone's house unless they actually stay there. Depending on LO's comfort level with your IL's I would ease into it. Maybe spending time over there and having LO take a nap with mom and/or dad there when they wake up. Then the next time LO takes a nap, mom or dad aren't there when they wake up. This way you can get a gauge on whether or not your IL will be able to comfort LO in the middle of the night without actually getting neck deep in it.
It's incredibly hard to step back as mamas and let our babies grow up and stay with someone else, but I think it's a very important part in their development as individuals.
Late to the party but thought I would throw my experience in too! We've only left LO once when he was a year old. He stayed at a really close friend of ours. These friends have a 2 yr old, a 5 year old, and a 6 year old so we figured that nothing would phase them. He slept in a pnp in their bedroom and when he woke up extra early, my gf took him into bed with her and he snuggled up and went back to sleep for another hour. Stinker.
He was a little clingy the next day, but seemed to do just fine. GL!
I should add that he is NOT the most easy going child in the world, so I was pleasantly surprised.
We have left DD overnight with both sets of our parents, and she does great. BUT, I should mention, due to our current strange living situation with DH and DD living three hours away from me three days a week with his parents, she spends a lot of time at both our parents already, with DH and me there. So for her to be left with them overnight really isn't a big deal. She is very used to sleeping in her bedroom at both houses, and spends A LOT of time with her grandparents.
It also helps that she doesn't wake up at night - except right now while teething molars. When she does wake up and doesn't settle herself back down within a few minutes, DH or I will go in and make sure she has her teddy, and lay her back down. This has never not worked. She loves her teddy and can sleep pretty much anywhere as long as she has it. Does your LO have a blanket/lovey/etc that will help during middle-of-the-night wakings?