***Loss Check-In***

Mrs Nice

Hello Ladies,Welcome to our Thursday Check-In!I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?QOTW: Has the loss of your Angel changed how you communicate with your SO?Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?GTKY: What kind of vehicle do you drive? What kind of vehicle do you wish you drove?

fluttergirlmoonchild79

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?Lord no.  I feel like I've taken 5 million steps back
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Getting through Corbin's birthday which is 10/28
QOTW: Has the loss of your Angel changed how you communicate with your SO?We're a lot more open and honest with each other.  When either of us needs space, we give it.  Whenever we want/need to talk, we do.  If my DH wants to do something and I don't, either he goes and I don't or we don't go and vice versa.  In a lot of ways we've become closer.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?Whether or not I want to stay the night out of town for this wedding we're going to on Saturday or not (it's 2 hours away) and what colors to paint the rooms in my house because it hasn't even been a month since we've moved in and the white walls are already driving me batty.
GTKY: What kind of vehicle do you drive? What kind of vehicle do you wish you drove?I don't drive much because I work from home.  I guess my car is a 97 Saturn SC2.  It barely runs and sounds like crap.  Most of the time I wait till my DH gets home from work to go anywhere and I then take his car (08 Ford Edge).  I wish I drove my mom's car which is a BMW 535xi

tuscanbride2007

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?No. See previous post. I feel like I am lost again.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?Get through Annabelle's 6 month angelversary, which is coming up in 5 days.
QOTW: Has the loss of your Angel changed how you communicate with your SO?We are pretty good at recognizing each other's moods. I am a lot more expressive, so I tend to let my feelings out more than he does. He doesn't like to see me upset, but helps me get through the rough times.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?Annabelle's 6 months' angelversary and the looming holidays.
GTKY: What kind of vehicle do you drive? What kind of vehicle do you wish you drove?I drive a 2004 Camry but am so ready for a new vehicle. Since this one runs *ok*, I am going to live with it until it dies or it doesn't make sense to spend the money to replace things on it. I would really like some kind of crossover so that the dogs have a place to sit (instead of in the back seat in DD's face) when we go on road trips.

ILoveRedVino

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? No, not really. I feel like I'm in a weird place. Life has kind of gone back to normal in the sense that I'm at work, not dwelling on the loss, etc. But, I am back to feeling guilt again. I felt guilty at first because life was going on (happily), but I know Baby would want that. Now, though, we have ashes at home. Sometimes I walk by them without even thinking about them/him, and then feel tremendous guilt for that. This morning, I left this house without saying goodbye (am I crazy??) and feel bad for that -- this happens regularly. It's hard. I hate it.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? We need to spread ashes. I know it'll be heartbreaking to part with the only thing we have of him. But... he deserves better than sitting on the top of a dresser, and he deserves to have peace too. I do think it'll be good for us too. As I mentioned above, talking to him every morning/night... I dont' think it is good for my mental health.

QOTW: Has the loss of your Angel changed how you communicate with your SO? It hasn't really, other than that we now have to talk about a topic that we shouldn't have to discuss. And the decisions we made and continue to make regarding him are pretty permanent and serious.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? The guilt that I mentioned above.

GTKY: What kind of vehicle do you drive? What kind of vehicle do you wish you drove? I drive an Acura RDX. I love it.

Williamandshawnna

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

Nope, just like the other ladies, I feel like I have taken some steps back.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

Lose weight, right now the plan is to do everything possible to get it off in a healthy way.

QOTW: Has the loss of your Angel changed how you communicate with your SO?

No, but it has made me more aware of when he is in need of some support. If I am having a rough day it is pretty obvious to all, if he is having a rough day I usually get 1 of 2 extremes, no communication at all while I am at work, or a ton of it. I then usually know I need to call him at home and see how he is doing.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

The holidays. Just talking about them with my husband last week tore me apart and I ended up calling out of work. I work in retail, so they are completely unavoidable, even more so with where I work. And yesterday was our holiday kick off meeting, all I can think of is, I am NOT supposed to be here.

GTKY: What kind of vehicle do you drive? What kind of vehicle do you wish you drove?

2008 Subaru Forester (the new style, the old one was too station wagon looking), I LOVE it! It fits the dog and everything we need for a 2 week vacation in the mountains. I wouldn't want to drive another vehicle. The week before we lost the boys we had decided to go with a new Suburban since we needed the room for triplets and our dog. But we held off on buying it because we just didn't need it until they came home.

OSUWifey09

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

I saw my OB - the one that saw me the entire pregnancy, not the one that wound up delivering Devon. I had been dreading that meeting because he is putting the blame of the loss on himself for not doing enough, even though I know he did what he was supposed to and I don't blame him. Seeing him was healing [for both of us, I think]. 

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

Make it through next week - my EDD is Monday.  

QOTW: Has the loss of your Angel changed how you communicate with your SO?

I'm more open with him, and he listens more. The other night, he let me talk and cry for 45 minutes uninterrupted. We talk more, which is nice.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Yesterday made a month since Devon was delivered. I totally fell apart and felt this deep ache that I hadn't felt since I last held him. I just wonder if it will feel like this forever, because a part of me feels like I'm the weakest person on the planet rigth now. 

GTKY: What kind of vehicle do you drive? What kind of vehicle do you wish you drove?

I bought a 2013 Hyundai Sonata in July. I want a Chevy Tahoe, but the price of gas - and the sticker price on the Tahoe - keep me away. I love my new car though. 

karebear57

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?I'm about the same. I think about her everyday but I don't cry all the time when I do.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?Nope, just to make it through her angelversary and what would have been all of her first holidays.
QOTW: Has the loss of your Angel changed how you communicate with your SO?We haven't fought in a long time and even little tiffs don't last long at all anymore. And he doesn't defend his parents as much anymore either, a big improvement from his parents mean more than me. He actually wants them to move out almost as much as me!
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?How we're gonna "celebrate" (I can't think of another way to describe it) Brianna's 1yr angelversary. All the holidays and changing into fall ( I used to love fall) 
GTKY: What kind of vehicle do you drive? What kind of vehicle do you wish you drove?We currently have 1 vehicle and it's a 2000 Mazda MPV.

kikibelle

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?This was my first week back at work, which was a huge step. I had been dreading it almost since the moment we found out that Julian had died. The anticipation was much worse than the reality. My first few days back have been hard but overall okay. It's actually been a little bit nice to get back into the routine and see my colleagues and students again. What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?DH and I are going to a close friend's wedding on Saturday. I have very mixed feelings about seeing so many friends and celebrating. QOTW: Has the loss of your Angel changed how you communicate with your SO?We already had a strong relationship and communicated well-losing Julian has brought us even closer. I feel so fortunate for this. Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?I've been remembering/thinking more about my pregnancy with Julian. I think being back at work has reminded me about more details of my time with him (I worked almost until my due date). I was so happy, although a little uncomfortable, those last few weeks. *sigh* GTKY: What kind of vehicle do you drive? What kind of vehicle do you wish you drove? We bought a 2009 Subaru Forester in May-first car either of us have owned in years. I like it more than I thought it would. I don't have a dream car.