Starting Preschool and behavior at home?

NicoleWI

Not sure if this is just a phase for DD or if it's related to starting school. Just wondering if anyone is experiencing anything similar! DD went to daycare until almost age 2 and has been home w/ a nanny since. She turned 3.5 at the end of July. She's going to a really cute little preschool 2 mornings/week. It's just 2 mornings, and she's used to ME not being there in the daytime anyway, but wondering if this is a bigger change for her than I'd realized. Her behavior hasn't been GREAT in general recently, but for the 2 weeks we've had school, she is super clingy/whiny/contrary, especially when me or DH first get home and/or caregiver transitions. She's been super sassy and refuses to do things we want her to do, i.e. say THANK YOU to 2 people for gifts or say happy b-day to her grandpa on the phone. She pushed her little brother the other day for the first time ever and hit him w/ a shoe, I think purely for attention. We've had a couple huge fits at mealtime, i.e. "if you keep spitting milk out onto your plate, you're done eating," and then when it continues and we pull her away from the table, we have like a 15 minute screaming fit about wanting her dinner. She put her hands in the toilet last night, which she is well beyond doing and knows is not good. You get the picture. 

I'm thinking she definitely needs more sleep, so that's part of it. But is this similar to anything others are seeing? Do you think the step-up in whiny/clingy/naughty behavior is related to the change in routing.

Oh, and she LIKES school. This is just the second week but it's great. She's quiet/shy at drop off but fine as soon as we leave. 

NicoleWI

I just saw the similar post below! oops. In any case, her little school is only 2 mornings/week...is that "enough" to cause issues? 

neverblushed

I replied to the other below, but as I stated down there, 3ish IS a prime time for anxious, whiny, disruptive, provocative behavior.

I know that kids who are 3 or even 2 can be in preschool programs, but a 3 y/o still has many of the traits of a toddler, in that they're still pretty much at the mercy of their emotions, and they aren't fully rational.

The answer: structure!  Give your child appropriate choices:  "Use your best manners and say "thank you' when you receive a gift, or I'll keep the gift until you're ready to be a big girl."  Follow through.  Don't scold, don't push.  Let the choice be hers: use manners and keep the gift or be stubborn and mom holds onto it.

"You need to stop pouring milk out. It's yucky and it wastes milk.  If you do it again, dinner is over."  If she does it again (75% chance that she will) take the plate away silently.  No refills, no snacks.  If she cries, respond with the following: "I'm sorry you're so disappointed with the choice you made.  Next time you'll make a better choice.  Find something to do to keep busy."

Don't give warning after warning, and don't constantly badger her to behave.  Let her choose and then provide the consequence for the behavior.  This seems harsh, but it will actually reduce her anxiety and her acting out in search of limits.  When, on the 2nd night, she chooses NOT to pour milk into her plate, praise her.  She'll become more confident this way. 

Angela814

I think any major change to routine can cause issues while they adjust. DD1 loves school, and we still have behavior problems for the first couple weeks. I think she's overtired and gets used to her independence and doesn't necessarily want to be told what to do. DD2 started a 2 yo preschool program, and she's been doing fine with it. She has been wanting me to feed her lately, which, now that I think about it, may have coincided with school starting.