I know it's not a race....(Feeling Very Sad Today)

sammer818

**Warning - other people's pregnancies mentioned**

 

 

 

But why couldn't we be first?? DH and I started trying 2 1/2 years ago. We always just assumed we'd be the first couple to have children in our group of friends and we were ok with that. We were the first to get married, the first to get a dog, of course having kids first would come naturally. Now one couple has a newborn baby and one couple is almost 20 weeks.

After our friends got pregnant, we assumed we'd be the first of DH and his brothers to have kids. I mean, our bad luck couldn't last forever, right? WRONG! This past weekend, we found out his older brother and his wife are expecting their first. I'm really happy for them but it just makes me so sad for us. It's just so d@mn hard watching everyone else pass us by. Like I said, I know it's not a race, but we are to the point in our TTC journey that we can no longer say with certainty that "we will get there someday." Why couldn't we have been first? I'm just feeling really down today. Thanks for listening ladies...

CNYBride05

That's so difficult!  You're right, it's not a race, but it sure stings like the dickens when people you love keep getting pregnant and you are still so raw from your losses.  Huge ((hugs))!  Not that it makes it any better, but we're all experiencing similar situations and we are totally here for you.

minicheezburg

I understand where you are at with that. Trust me. There is nothing I can say to make you feel better. Just know I  understand and I hope you feel better soon. hugs

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jenn0021

I get it and it sucks. A lot. I hate that in our heads we make it out to be a race and it constantly feels like we're losing. I like to say that I'm stuck at the starting line while people are running on ahead, and some of them even lapping me. I am sending you giant understanding ((hugs)). It hurts a lot, especially when it comes to family. I still struggle with it on a daily basis.

HopingforChange

jenn0021:

I get it and it sucks. A lot. I hate that in our heads we make it out to be a race and it constantly feels like we're losing. I like to say that I'm stuck at the starting line while people are running on ahead, and some of them even lapping me. I am sending you giant understanding ((hugs)). It hurts a lot, especially when it comes to family. I still struggle with it on a daily basis.

 Jenn hit the nail on the head.  We've been at this for years, and friends who started less than a year ago are holding their babies.  It makes me so mad there are no words.  I wish it didn't, because I know I can't blame these people, but part of me really does.  It sucks.  Sending huge ((hugs)).  

raashton

I feel the same way!

My older sister is 8 years older than I am, so I always knew that I wouldn't be first.  However, I didn't realize that I would be the last of my sisters to have a child, considering I was the 2nd oldest.  I know it isn't a race but sometimes I think, "It is MY TURN! I did things the traditional, 'responsible' way!"

I am so sorry that you are having a rough time with this. It isn't fair and their is no rhyme or reason to who gets a baby and when. It sucks big time.

Love and strength to you!

Laurakat81

(((hugs)))

I could have written this post. Next month will be 3 years for us. All of my married friends have at least one child or are pregnant and none have been married as long as us and none had to try longer than a couple months. I wasn't supposed to be "first" as a few friends had kids before we even were married but I can't believe I'm either going to be last or its just never going to happen. Its just another thing to add to the list of heartbreaks.

poohbear033

I know how you feel. It sucks. DH and I were one of the first of our friends to get married, but almost everyone already has kids. So I feel like we are going to be the last.

LSzwaya

I know how you feel. We are coming up on 2 years of TTC #2 and every single person who started trying when I did or after has had a baby or is pregnant. I know it's not a race but it feels like loosing one every time someone gets a bfp. Big hugs. 

hungryhippo

((hugs hugs)) It WAY sucks.