Infertility Veterans

Just asked a friend NOT to send me a birth announcement...

I got a FB message asking for my current address. I'm guessing she is sending out birth announcements from her July baby..   They live in CA so I have not seen them in 2+ years so she has no idea about my IF etc.  (she is actually the wife of my guy friend from HS). She asked how we were doing etc so I just decided to out myself because I am not going to pretend that my life is all happy cheery etc.  After disclosing our struggle in a sentence...I asked her not to send me a birth announcement if that was why she was asking for the address because seeing babies is like a knife in my heart. Curious to see what response I get....

TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

imageimage

SAIF/PAIF Welcome


http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

Re: Just asked a friend NOT to send me a birth announcement...

  • I think its great you're doing what you need to do to look out for yourself!

    TTC since 5/2010
    DX with Diminished Ovarian Reserve - AMH of 1.1 - 7/2011; AMH of .42 8/2012
    BFP 9/1/10-M/C confirmed 9/8/10-Methotrexate 10/6/10
    IUI #1 (w/clomid)-9/5/11-BFN ; IUI #2 (w/clomid)-10/5/11 - BFP - 11/1/12-No sac seen; 11/2/11 and 11/9/11-Methotrexate 
    IVF #1- ER 2/2; ET 2/5;-Two 8 cell embryos transfered = BFFN
    Surprise BFP - 5/7/12
    U/S on 6/8/12 - H/B at 128 BPM; U/S on 6/14/12 @ 9wks-No H/B-D&C on 6/17/12
    IVF 2.0- ER 10/17; ET 10/20-One 12 cell, one 10 cell and one 8 cell embryo transfered
    BFP!   11/16/12 U/S- Two nuggets with perfect heartbeats! EDD 7/10/13

     

    5/31/2013- My miracles arrived at 34w2d!  Welcome to the world Harper and Nolan!Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    My Blog- http://waitingonaangel.wordpress.com/

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

  • Good for you for preempting the heart stabbing announcement. I Hope she understands. 
    imageimage

    Dx: DH - Azoo, Me - Mild PCOS
    DH - sperm found! Seems to produce only for a few days every 70 days!
    Over 1 million in cryo in 15 vials over 6 samples
    IVF #1 - 1 beautiful expanded blast transferred, 4 snowbabies - beta #1 11/30/11 = BFFN
    FET #1, transfered 2 embies 2/16/12 = BFFN; 1 snowbaby left in cryo
    IVF #2 + CGH = 4 genetically normal embies on ice. FET September 26th
    SAIF/PAIF always welcome

    a special GL and prayers to my IF sister Gregermis

    image
    check out my blog!


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  • (((hugs))) This is such a tough situation. I hope your friend is supportive and understanding...
    imageimageimage

    TTC since March 2009 // Me and DH - 28
    Testing Summer/Fall 2010 - Unexplained IF
    IUIs #1-4 ~ Clomid/Ovidrel/TI/IUI ~ all BFNs
    IUI #5 ~ Femara/Ovidrel/TI/IUI ~ BFN
    IUIs #6-9 ~ Research Study Meds/Pregnyl/TI/IUI ~ all BFNs
    IVF Consultation, More Testing
    Diagnostic Cycle ~ Mucinex/Progesterone/TI ~ BFN
    IVF #1 ~ Menopur/Bravelle/Ganirelix/Novarel/Progesterone/Lupron
    7R, 6F // 2 transferred // 3 frosties ~ BFN
    FET #1 ~ Estrace/PIO/Lupron
    3 thawed // 2 transferred // 1 lost // no more frosties ~ BFP!!
    Beta #1 - 456 // Beta #2 - 1176 // Beta #3 - 2933 // Beta #4 - 6753
    EDD: May 16, 2013
    Threatened MC at 6w2d
    Bedrest for SCH // 6w2d through 10w1d
    Elevated TSH and Lazy Thyroid DX @ 10w - Started Synthroid
    Finally released from RE at 13w
    Charles Everett ~ Born 5/20/2013

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    ~~ My IF Blog ~~ 

  • There is NOTHING wrong with protecting your mental health.  If she doesn't get it, then she isn't worth being your friend.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I think it's great that you are standing up for your mental health.  Hopefully she is understanding.

    (((hugs)))

    SAIFW
    TTC since 2008 dx PCOS & MFI
    Clomid/Femara no "O"
    IVF #1 BFN
    FET #1 cancelled for biopsy
    FET #1.2 c/p, July 2012 c/p
    IUI #1 & 1.2 canceled
    IVF #2 ER 12/1, Freeze all due to OHSS
    FET #2.1 cancelled due to DVT risk, FET #2.2 Jan 2013
    my blog
    image
  • Good for you! I think that it is wonderful to speak your mind and let her know how you feel. I would imagine if she was a good friend she would just send you a 'thinking of you card' in lieu of a birth announcement (well that is what I would do - but heck the IF mind is much different than those stupid Fertile Myrtles).
    image

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    My Blog

    TTC #1 Since June 2007
    April 2008 Diagnosed with Unexplained Infertility
    5 failed IUI cycles
    2009-2011 IF Treatment Break - saving for IVF and TTC on our Own... Praying for a miracle

    IVF (Long Lupron) Bravelle & Menopur, ER on 11/4 (Retrieved 17 eggs - 16 mature & 16 fertilized!)3dt on 11/7 (Transfered Two "perfect" 8 Cell 0% Frag Embryos) = BFFN

    Nov 2011 - July 2012 Taking time off to heal before FET
    (We have three beautiful frosties waiting for us)

    FET August/September 2012 = BFP!!!
    ET (8/31) 2 Expanded Blastocysts & 1 Collapsed Blastocyst
    Beta#1 (9/14) 14dp5dt = 1309 Beta#2 (9/19) 19dp5dt = 7557!! 1st U/S (9/28) 1 Beautiful Heartbeat! 8 Weeks 2 Days 2nd U/S (10/9) Heartrate=184!!! EDD: 5/19/13

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Good for you! I don't get why fertiles need to include everyone they know in that anyway. I just told my friend not to send me a shower invite. We see each other once every 5 years and she lives out of the country.
    PAIF and SAIF Always Welcome!
    TTC since 2007
    6 IUIs, 3 IVFs, and 2 m/c :< PCOS, Blood Clotting Disorder & MFI
    IVF #2 Aug 2011 is a BFN:<
    IVF #3 March 2012 is a BFN
    Not sure what to do now. Sad and lost.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • ((hugs)) Good for you for speaking up.
    Trying to grow our family with both fertility treatments and adoption since March 2009 
    IUIs#1-4 = BFN, IVF#1 = c/p, IVF#2 = OHSS, FET#1=BFP
    BabyFruit Ticker
    image
  • Gotta do what you've gotta do!  Hugs!

     
    me 33/DH 36
    ttc since 10/2008; d/x: mild MFI, stageII endo
    ~~PAIF/SAIF Welcome~~
    11 IUI’s = 1 m/c (7w4d)
    IVF#1 January 2012 BFN, FET #1 April 2012 BFN
    Surprise BFP October 2012 m/c (7w), Surprise BFP April 2013 m/c (6w4d)
    IVF #2: July 2013, ET 1 embryo 7/18, beta 1 @ 14dp3dt - 757, beta 2 @ 16dp3dt - 1762
    U/S 1 @ 6w4d = 1 little frogger with HB of 118, U/S 2 @ 7w3d measuring right on track with HB of 160
    Stick Frogger Stick! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!   It's a Girl, EDD April 7, 2014

    BabyFruit Ticker

  • Hugs!!  I hate it has to be so hard!
    I am AMA and all tests on H came back normal
    3 failed IVF with OE and 2 failed frozen DE cycles
    Last fresh hail mary DE cycle starting Feb 2013
    PAIF/SAIF always welcome
  • I hope she responds with understanding!
    TTC #1 since June 2010
    Me: 36, DH: 42
    Dx: DOR and MFI

    DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
    Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal

    IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
    IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
    DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
    DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!

    SAIFW/PAIFW
  • Glad you did this. Right now, you are the only one who can protect YOU. I am sure she will understand. XO
    imageimage

    TTC#1 since October 2010

    "The jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be...because of all I may become I will close my eyes and leap." Mary Anne Radmacher

    Me:35, 5 major abdominal surgeries for Ulcerative colitis, failed j pouch, perm. Ileostomy DX-DOR & Tubal abnormalities/Extensive Adhesions from earlier surgeries.latest fsh -26 :(

    IVF 1- March 2012 Antagonist Protocol; BCP until March 3; AFC this cycle is 10 (Hooray); Start stims on March 9; ER on March 19- 2R; 2T (1 perfect 8 cell, 1 scrappy 3 cell); tubal infection from ER-hospitalized. Doomed! BFN

    Essure Procedure to treat bilateral hydrosalpinx; June 2012, wait 3 months for confirmation test.

    IVF2 (Egg Banking)-letrozole/antagonist cycle; June/July 2012 225iu merional + cetrotide; slow responder, Ovulated before ER. Unbelievable. Canceled remaining cycles with my eggs

    DE IVF in Brno, Czech. Approx. ET on Oct 6 CANCELLED-Essure didn't close both tubes-test again in 3 months

    IVF3-DE IVF ET on Dec 9, 2012 (decided to roll the dice no matter what!)

    2 perfect HB transferred; 8dp5dt beta:36; 10dp5dt beta 15; chemical pregnancy.

    Turning our hearts toward adoption

    DH:36, SA-perfect

    Married since July 11, 2009

    Fur baby Cairn Terrier

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome

  • Hope you felt better afterwards. What did she say?
    Us: 39(me)/41(he). TTC since April '11. DOR/MFI. March '12: surgery to remove fibroids, cysts, and endometriosis.
    IVF #1: 9/13/12. ER: 9/25. 3R, 2M, 1F. ET: 9/28 (1-6B). Beta: moved from 10/11 to 10/10: BFN.
    IVF #2: 11/12 cycle postponed due to Sandy and then cancelled due to elevated E2.
    IVF #2.1 cancelled due to cyst.
    IVF #2.2: 2/2/13. Converted to IUI. BFN
    IVF #3.0: 3/2014. BCP & Microdose Lupron.  Cycle cancelled due to poor response.
    IVF #4.0: 2/2015. EPP @ new RE. ER: 3/8. 3R, 3M, 1F. ET: 3/11 (1-8cell). 3/23 Beta: 16.9. 3/25 Beta: 71.6. 3/27 Beta: 300. 3/29 Beta: 800 3/31 Beta: 1816. 4/1 Beta: 4342. m/c at 6w2d. Goodbye little one. I loved you already.
    P/SAIF Welcome.
    My Blog
    imageimageBirthday image

  • imagelsgabriel:
    Hope you felt better afterwards. What did she say?

     

    No response yet... 

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

  • I hate that any of us get to the place where we need to protect ourselves -- but, this is where we find ourselves.  I get it 100% and just hope your friend shows support and compassion.  We're not throwing pity parties, far from it.  It's about making you the priority for once.  Hugs.  
    Baby girl Lila born 2013.
    Baby boy Henry born 2015.
    Expecting our capstone baby (boy) early March 2018.
  • imageMrs.McIrish:

    imagelsgabriel:
    Hope you felt better afterwards. What did she say?

     

    No response yet... 

    I'm sorry. The suspense makes it suck more. I came out to a pretty good friend in an email telling her that I wasn't going to make it to her shower and why. It took about a day and a half for her to respond. It felt a bit like torture. I think she just needed time to figure out how to respond the best way possible. When she did finally email me back she was super understanding and was really sweet about it. I hope you get an answer from her soon.  

    imageimage

    Dx: DH - Azoo, Me - Mild PCOS
    DH - sperm found! Seems to produce only for a few days every 70 days!
    Over 1 million in cryo in 15 vials over 6 samples
    IVF #1 - 1 beautiful expanded blast transferred, 4 snowbabies - beta #1 11/30/11 = BFFN
    FET #1, transfered 2 embies 2/16/12 = BFFN; 1 snowbaby left in cryo
    IVF #2 + CGH = 4 genetically normal embies on ice. FET September 26th
    SAIF/PAIF always welcome

    a special GL and prayers to my IF sister Gregermis

    image
    check out my blog!


  • Definitely keep us posted. I'd like to hear how this goes.
    Us: 39(me)/41(he). TTC since April '11. DOR/MFI. March '12: surgery to remove fibroids, cysts, and endometriosis.
    IVF #1: 9/13/12. ER: 9/25. 3R, 2M, 1F. ET: 9/28 (1-6B). Beta: moved from 10/11 to 10/10: BFN.
    IVF #2: 11/12 cycle postponed due to Sandy and then cancelled due to elevated E2.
    IVF #2.1 cancelled due to cyst.
    IVF #2.2: 2/2/13. Converted to IUI. BFN
    IVF #3.0: 3/2014. BCP & Microdose Lupron.  Cycle cancelled due to poor response.
    IVF #4.0: 2/2015. EPP @ new RE. ER: 3/8. 3R, 3M, 1F. ET: 3/11 (1-8cell). 3/23 Beta: 16.9. 3/25 Beta: 71.6. 3/27 Beta: 300. 3/29 Beta: 800 3/31 Beta: 1816. 4/1 Beta: 4342. m/c at 6w2d. Goodbye little one. I loved you already.
    P/SAIF Welcome.
    My Blog
    imageimageBirthday image

  • So glad that you did this for yourself and definitely hoping that you receive a kind, thoughtful response.
    TTC since honeymoon in 9/2010
    Me: 39, Dx DOR (FSH = 10.5, AMH = 0.43, best AFC = 10), AMA
    MH: 37, Dx Obstructive Azoospermia, multiple successful sperm retrieval procedures

    1/2012: IVF/ICSI #1 Antagonist = cancelled d/t poor response to max stims
    2/2012: IVF/ICSI #2 MDLF (4R, 4M, 1F) = BFP, saw heartbeat, missed m/c 9w0d, D&E
    8/2012: IVF/ICSI #3 EPP/MDLF (7R, 2M, 1F) = BFN

    12/2012: (New RE) Operative hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue

    1/2013: IVF/ICSI #4 Low-dose stim/Antagonist (AFC=6); ER=1/26 (5R-couldn't access rt ovary, 5M, 4F), ET=1/29 (trans 3) = BFP!; 2/11 beta#1(13dp3dt)=2127, 2/13=3367; twin girls due 10/19/13

    PAIF/SAIF very welcome!

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt16bf7d.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
  •  

     

    let us know how it goes. a good friend will understand.

     i was very withdrawn from friends during my IF. i think it was especially hard for me since i was already in my 40s and felt like i was running out of time and didn't want to be an ancient mom.

    i did ask some of my friends not to send me photos and did decline shower invitations. i would ALWAYS send a gift. i think some were better than others in understanding.  i never recd a card or nothing,  and... some friends had no problems sending me Xmas photo cards and that was the only time they communicated with me....  they are just clueless...

    fertiles are in a different world.  you definitely deserve a 'thinking of you' sentiment. unfortunately people with IF are not recognized for their struggle are expected to just keep their struggle in some sort of compartment and are asked to celebrate birthdays and showers. how are you supposed to be celebrating when you are enduring so much pain and struggle?. IF is just ignored. 

     

    After 7 years of marriage and 5 unsuccessful IVFs, we have been granted the gift of adopting a baby boy, born 4/21/11.
    image
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