***Loss Check-In***

Mrs Nice

Hello Ladies,Welcome to our Thursday Check-In!I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?QOTW: What has been the most appreciated thing any one has said or done for you after the loss of your angel?Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?GTKY: Are there any actors or actresses that you absolutely cannot stand to watch?

fluttergirlmoonchild79

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?It took me all weekend but I painted Corbin's room and put all of his stuff up. Had no intention but ended up finishing it on his 9 month Angelversary.  I love that his is the only room in our house that's completely settled.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?Now that we're in our new house, I plan on going through all his pictures and printing some off and hanging them.  I'd wallpaper the house with them if it wasn't totally crazy
QOTW: What has been the most appreciated thing any one has said or done for you after the loss of your angel?We have a couple we know that lost their son when he was like 7 to cancer so they've been where we are.  The husband came over the morning everything happened and simply told us that we will grieve differently and to just be patient with each other.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?Missing Corbin a lot this week.  I feel better though knowing that he's found the new house and is here.  There was a rainbow at one point last week and then when I was out in the yard the other day I saw the biggest butterfly I've ever seen!  Love it!
GTKY: Are there any actors or actresses that you absolutely cannot stand to watch?Vin Diesel drives me crazy.  I think it was from watching XXX.  That movie was so stupid! and the one-liners!

karebear57

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?Same ol', same ol'...
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?I'm seriously thinking of trying again this month instead of starting next month. And being on mother/baby last night really put the icing on the cake. 
QOTW: What has been the most appreciated thing any one has said or done for you after the loss of your angel?Just all of you ladies on here being very kind and supportive.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?Brianna...how much of a nutcase I'll be when I finally get pg again and how much a doc. visit would be should I become pg before Nov. b/c my insurance won't kick in until jan 1st and a selfish fear that's been plaguing me more and more as I near ttc, and his parents needing to be outta the house when we finally get a baby to bring home b/c we really need the room (and less stress!!) just everything running through my head all at once...
GTKY: Are there any actors or actresses that you absolutely cannot stand to watch?I absolutely, without a doubt. very, very strongly dislike Beyonce very, very, very much!!! She is such a spoiled ***. I absolutely cannot stand to see her or even hear her name!

jbranden12

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? Not really.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Still trying to think of something special for DH's birthday in 2 weeks. It was the day last year we found out we were expecting Patricia.
QOTW: What has been the most appreciated thing any one has said or done for you after the loss of your angel? Lots of people were kind, but I was really touched by a coworker who collected money to donate to the Arbor Day Foundation to have over 100 trees planted in Patricia's name in a national forest in northern California where we visited during my pregnancy.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Working through some issues with DH, taking it one day at a time.GTKY: Are there any actors or actresses that you absolutely cannot stand to watch? I really don't like Angelina Jolie.

ILoveRedVino

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? Not really.  I have continued to journal.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? I want to lose weight.  As I feel better about myself, I am happier with life in general.  We're also planning a vacation that will mark the beginning of a new chapter - so I need to get on that.

QOTW: What has been the most appreciated thing any one has said or done for you after the loss of your angel? We were lucky to have a ton of support from family and friends.  Most were expected, but I was really touched by the people who kind of came out of the past to send cards/thoughts/prayers.  There were friends who I haven't talked to in 10 years who heard through the grapevine and sent letters... I was really touched by those.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?  Finding closure.  We now have testing completed and have received his ashes, so it is really over.  I need to find a way to accept that.  I want to get his ashes blessed soon too.

GTKY: Are there any actors or actresses that you absolutely cannot stand to watch? Will Ferrel, Jim Carrey (apparently I have no sense of humor)

kikibelle

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?I went out of town for a quick trip to visit my parents. That was the first time I have been away from DH (and Julian's ashes) overnight.  I also had my first non-family/friend visitor. My coworker came over and I told her a lot about Julian and his birth. Oh, and I've packed away/returned all of my maternity clothes.What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?I guess surviving my return to work-I go back a week from Monday.QOTW: What has been the most appreciated thing any one has said or done for you after the loss of your angel?A few friends have told me that I am brave/strong in dealing with this. DH and my mom both said that they were proud of me (DH for giving birth to his 1st son, mom for how I've dealt with his death). I like to cook, so I didn't want people to bring me food. But, my brother asked me for a grocery list and delivered groceries to us one week early on, and another friend brought me a bunch of fresh produce from the farmers' market. We have received some nice things to memorialize Julian. I've appreciated everything people have done-from a simple Christmas ornament to having a star named after him. Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?Intensely missing Julian and feeling so sad that I'm not doing the day-to-day mommy things that I was so looking forward to. I have always wanted children, and was really looking forward to finally taking on that role. Also starting to think more about our TTCAL plans, which makes me hopeful sometimes, and terrified other times. GTKY: Are there any actors or actresses that you absolutely cannot stand to watch?Haha, probably, but I can't think of any right now. Haven't been watching much TV lately. 

OSUWifey09

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I've just been trying to take one day at a time at this point. Sometimes, I have to regress mentally and just take it one minute, one hour at a time instead of taking it by day. Right now, I'm just trying to heal enough on the outside to hold it together through a full day.What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?I want to make it through a public outing - grocery shopping especially - without breaking down. I cried while driving by a high school because it made me realize that Devon won't ever experience that. I cried in Sam's because I saw a pregnant woman [and felt anger and bitterness]. I just want to be able to hold it in until I get home. QOTW: What has been the most appreciated thing any one has said or done for you after the loss of your angel?I'm still very close to a group of girls I met on the March 2009 Knot board. We moved over to The Nest, then to a private FB group. They're one of the first people I told about my loss. They've been incredible through all of this - they sent flowers, food, things for my 3.5-year-old, and a couple even drove 4+ hours to attend Devon's memorial. I am so very grateful for them. Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?I'm afraid that people will start judging me when they find out H and I plan to try again by the end of the year. I'm afraid that maybe I don't have the strength to be pregnant again because I'm terrified I'll have to go through this again, and I can't go through this again. I'm afraid to go back to work because I don't want to face the sympathy looks or explain what happened. I'm just...afraid. GTKY: Are there any actors or actresses that you absolutely cannot stand to watch?Another for Angelina Jolie. Blah. 

Bayberry12

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

Not really.  I have been trying to do a lot around the house so I don't feel like I'm just sitting around all day.    

 

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

No set goals.  

 

QOTW: What has been the most appreciated thing any one has said or done for you after the loss of your angel?

Two of my moms friends sent me things, one sent "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart" (she also had a late loss) and the other sent a prepared dinner.  I don't even know these ladies.  So that was very nice of them  

 

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

I am having a colposcopy on Monday, and I starting to really get upset easily.  I am worried about what they might find.   Also, I am supposed to go out with a few girl friends this weekend, and I really don't want to.  I don't feel like I'm in a place where I will be able to enjoy time with them.  I'm like the "black sheep" friend now. 

 

GTKY: Are there any actors or actresses that you absolutely cannot stand to watch?

I cannot stand Snookie (not that she is an actress) but she is all over the place with her new baby, and it's breaking my heart.  

kikibelle

Bayberry12:

GTKY: Are there any actors or actresses that you absolutely cannot stand to watch?

I cannot stand Snookie (not that she is an actress) but she is all over the place with her new baby, and it's breaking my heart.  

THIS 

Williamandshawnna

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

Not Really. Still seeing our therapist.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

Weight loss has been a big thing and will continue to be until I get to where I want to be for IVF #2

QOTW: What has been the most appreciated thing any one has said or done for you after the loss of your angel?

Other than the amazing support of my Husband, Mother-in Law and Brother-in-Law.

I asked an artist my husband and I LOVE, to draw something for our boys, for my husband - he doesn't wear jewelry so that was my next best idea. Their nursery was classic Winnie The Pooh, and we choose shamrocks to represent our losses. John the artist sent an amazing art piece of Pooh and friends sitting on a hill of shamrocks with a Winne The Pooh quote underneath. And his wife, who I have only met once, was so kind and gracious to send an Irish Shamrock necklace with the artwork. I was so touched and moved to tears, but as a friend told me, they were tears of joy. It felt so good to agree with her and know the tears where not from sorrow.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

I have to go to the RE to have a sonohystogram that they "forgot" to do during our first IVF. Really scared that they might find something major.

GTKY: Are there any actors or actresses that you absolutely cannot stand to watch?

I am sure there are but right now after reading previous replies all I can think of is Snooki.