Husbands coming to appt's

eburlingham

My husband is super excited about expecting and is wanting to come with to basically every appointment I have. While I appreciate his support, I haven't decided if it's necessary for him to be there for EVERYTHING or not. I went to my first appt on my own - that one was just with a nurse going over health history, hospital info, etc. Today I had my first ultrasound & he came along to that one. (So exciting!) Next week I meet with my OB & I'm not sure if he needs to be there for that or not. I just don't want him to feel left out.

 What have your husbands been coming to? I know every relationship is different but I'm just trying to get a sense of what's "normal." Thanks ladies!

can_can

Ask the OB before the appt what to expect. Most of the appointments are really short, and only do a weight check, blood pressure check, and ask how you are feeling. If he has a ton of questions, he might like to ask the OB himself, but I'd say he doesn't need to be there for every one DH came to my first (when we heard the heartbeat) and all my ultrasounds, but not the "routine" ones...

Upper West Side

I was planning on having my husband come whenever they do an u/s. 

kmwills

My DH only came to the anatomy scan u/s.  He didn't come to any of my other appts or u/s.

luckylauren14

For DS, DH came to every appointment. It didnt matter to him if all they did was ask me some questions and measure my belly - he wanted to be there! I have to say it was really nice to have him there.

Now, I'm not sure if he'll be able to visit every appt just based on our schedules, especially with DS.  But I'm going to try and make sure he can make it (if he wants) each time.

Mama-Bear

My DH has missed maybe 2 or 3 appts between 2 pgs (1 twin pg so even more appts than normal.  Before I got pg with DS1 I remember reading a post where a woman went to an OB appt by herself, found out that she lost her baby, and had to hear that news alone.  I never wanted to be put in that position, plus it was nice not having to relay info to DH and he could feel more a part of it.  I see no reason NOT to include him if he wants to go.

*This pg DH won't go with me to many, but it's not our baby, so I think that makes a huge difference.

tinychefjackson

I found it helpful to have my DH there, and he wanted to understand what was going on with me. Plus, while it's my body, I felt it was necessary to have his input regarding certain decisions in my pregnancy.

StarBe

DH will be coming to every appt I have that he can make it to. I figure if we are both there no questions get missed and all answers are heard by 2 people, I can be a bit forgetful!!! Plus his families medical history is also important AND he needs to fully understand what I am going through to best support me.

 Most importantly it is 2 voices and 2 sets of ears 

ashleyb1114

My boyfriend came to the 1st 2 appointments. The 2nd appt was only pee in a cup and ask for questions.. Hes coming again on Friday to my next appt. He wants to come so I let him- its our first baby and I appreciate him there with me

sesigs

My husband just came to the first appointment with my OB so he could meet him and to the ultrasound appointments. He doesn't plan to come to anymore but would if I felt like I needed him to be there.

jyoung630

My husband would come to every appointment if he was able.  Most of my appointments are on my day off, when he has to work.  Thankfully, it worked out that he was off for my first u/s appointment and got to see the babys heartbeat. 

mrs.birdie

I don't find it necessary for DH to go to all of my appointments. The only things I really feel like I need him to be there for are the "big" ultrasound and L&D. That said, he likes me to make appointments when he will be able to come because he likes to hear the baby's heartbeat and hear straight from the dr. that everything is ok.

dana2die4

DH came to the first 3 appoinments (because they did ultrasounds), the 20 week anatomy scan, and I think that is about it. After your inital visits, each visit is pretty basic and boring.

candreco

DH comes to u/s sound appointments, but most appts are just a 15 minute check in- weight, test your urine, quick doppler, any questions or instructions.  It's barely worth taking time off of work myself, let alone DH taking time off too.

TimingisEverything

My husband normally just comes to the ones with the u/s. the rest of them are basically pee in a cup and listen to the heart beat so I don't feel the need to have him with me.

MrsP7309

I ask my OB when making the appt if this is one DH should come to.

ValentineGirl

My H can't come to most of them because of work.  Last time he came to the NT scan, anatomy scan (but we already found out the sex earlier because I had an u/s for some bleeding)  and the first appointment last time, along with others if  he was off.  Our work schedules are slightly different so I try to schedule appts before my work but they are too late for him.  

chlsbshp

Aww sounds like you've got a keeper

Usually most OB appointments are the same. They take a sonogram to make sure everything's okay check the heart beat, and you pee in a cup (not in that exact order).

My DH wanted to go to each one but after we started realizing that they were all mostly the same, he stopped going. Mostly because of his work schedule. But he went to the important ones, the first OB appointment the last one before my due date and the one where we got a tour of the birthing center.

mrsjjohnson2010

So far I have had three u/s the 1st one DH missed it was to make sure I was indeed pg in my womb, the 2nd and 3rd he was there all ears. He wanted to know what was going on. When I scheduled my 12wks appt I couldn't make it on the day he was off he was very upset and I changed the time so he could be there.

If its important to him, imo keep him involved. There are many women who wish they had someone that would  go with her to the Dr.

JustDoIt62009

My OB does an ultrasound at almost every appointment, instead of just using the doppler. My hubby was at all of the appointments he was off for, but really as long as he was there for the 1st ultrasound and the anatomy scan I was fine. I took my mom to an appointment or 2 when he couldn't be there so that she could see and hear the baby as well.

This pregnancy I'll make my first ultrasound appointment next week when I'm at my confirmation/bloodwork appointment and if I can't make it for a time he's off, he'll take the day off. Our first pregnancy ended in miscarriage that was diagnosed with an ultrasound, so I always want him there for the first one just in case that ever happens again. 

carolinah

My DH came to EVERY SINGLE appointment with my first. 

This time I'm sure that will NOT be the case. He has also been to all of our appointments at our fertility clinic so he's already put in A LOT of time. I think he will just come to the big ones like the ultrasounds and anatomy scans etc.  

sillypit

With my first he came to every appointment, with this one he will only come to the "big" appointments (i.e. ultrasounds)

dande2129

My FI finds it very important that he attend every single appointment. And yes, the involvement and support is wonderful, but I don't think he needs to be there every time I am weighed, uterus checked and asked if I have questions then sent on my way when I don't. I tell him that there's nothing "fun" about these appointments. [It would be a lot more fun if we didn't have a doppler. Right now, we can listen to the baby whenever we want]

But, it's his choice. If he wants to be there, then whatever.

Anne Mommy

With DS, he came to every appointment. It was very important to him not to miss any. He always had a bunch of questions. it was also helpful to have another set of ears. Pregnancy brain and all!

This time around, he is coming to those that he can.

MechanicMama1

My dh will come to the first u/s to hear the heart beat then I will prob fly solo till gender u/s then again till the birth... Maybe 1 more u/s

drewiekc

Last time, DH only came to my first appointment, any u/s, and then the last few when I was getting closer to my due date and going weekly.  I was glad to have him at those last few, because that's when we discovered she was breech and had to discuss options.  Other than that, I didnt find it necessary for him to be there.  So far this time the only one he's come to is my NT scan.

MommalovesBug

I would really just say to leave it up to him! as PP have said, the majority are 15 minute appointments- just checking you and baby are ok. If he wants to be part of it i would totally appreciate the moral support!

DH came to all but 2 appointments for DS, and so far has come to all the ones with this pregnancy. He knows that most aren't big, but he likes to be involved and i love the support!

It also helps him feel more comfortable once labor comes, he'll be more used to seeing the OB and the OB will actually know your H!- that's always a plus! 

dbsk8dance+

My H missed one last time. I am expecting him to be there for all of them this time.

MrsJ723

luckylauren14:

For DS, DH came to every appointment. It didnt matter to him if all they did was ask me some questions and measure my belly - he wanted to be there! I have to say it was really nice to have him there.

Now, I'm not sure if he'll be able to visit every appt just based on our schedules, especially with DS.  But I'm going to try and make sure he can make it (if he wants) each time.

This.

MommaG123

With my first MH only came to my u/s appointments.  He never even met our OB until we were in the delivery room.  His work schedule just didn't allow for him to take time off, ever pretty much.

stkmw02

After we got married, my husband came to my next GYN appointment to meet the doctor.  He gave her a HUGE hug and said he was so glad to meet the woman who would someday deliver our baby!  We hadn't even started trying yet!

Needless to say, now that I have a positive result... he's in this 100%.  He knows he won't be able to make all the appointments because of our work schedules, but he intends to try to be at as many as possible.  He also doesn't want me to go alone.  After we hear the heartbeat and announce to family and friends, he wants me to take someone with me to any appointment he can't attend.  He's super supportive and I think having him there will be a great thing for me and the baby.  It will be nice to let our child know just how much "daddy" was involved... and wanted to be!

chole101

my husbands gone to all of mine except my next one beacuse he has to work he enjoys going and helps me remember questions i want to ask or ask questions he wants answers to.

mainecoastmama

I'm planning on having my husband come only to crucial appointments with u/s. And mostly the first one, which is next wednesday. I want him to have plenty of sick time (we are both teachers) to take when the baby comes in April.:)

Lariah14

candreco:

DH comes to u/s sound appointments, but most appts are just a 15 minute check in- weight, test your urine, quick doppler, any questions or instructions.  It's barely worth taking time off of work myself, let alone DH taking time off too.

 Totally agree. 

ETA: this doesn't mean our husbands are not 100% supportive and excited, that's what some ladies here must think.... Besides the first HB and ultrasounds, it's really routine and unnecessary. If they don't have work, sure go, but to take time off work is definitely not necessary.  

msmcdermott2008

Popping in from 3rd tri!

 My husband came to all of the really big appointments, like the ultrasounds and the first couple of appointments with my OB.  As I went along, my appts were really short and routine so I felt he really didn't need to be there for every single one. 

Presha911

My husband wants to be at every appointment. He is very excited about the baby and finds the OB office to be like a spa. Our work schedules are flexible enough that we can both easily be there. Plus, not for nothing, but it took both of us to make this baby so I expect both of us to be at every appointment. LOL

Bsime

My boyfriend comes to all the ones he can, he misses one every once in awhile due to work.  We lost our last baby 10 months ago and I was happy that he was there when I found out. Another good reason is that he remembers some info that I forgot and he helps with reminders of certain foods or advice the doctor gave.

Bbelle88

My husband only comes if we're getting an u/s

sweetlittle1

My ds came to most during my first pregnancy. These first few are going to be very exciting, and then they become much more routine. Do what you feel comfortable with. He may decide to skip out on future ones, but he probably just wants to be there for you both every step of the way. If there are other ways he could be supportive of you that you'd appreciate a bit more, let him know :

pinottoparenthood

I plan on having my husband come to only ultrasound appointments... but he would have to take time off work to go to all of the appointments, so it doesn't really make sense. It might be a little excessive for him to come to all those appointments, but it's not going to hurt anything. After a few he might realize there's not too much going on and decide to only come to major appointments...

Cdeloach09

My husband has been excited about our little one, but he doesn't come to every appointment. I think it's because doctors, hospitals, and all that freak him out. He does want to come with me to the 'big appointments', but that can be tricky to figure out. When we had the appointment to determine our risk for downs syndrome, I didn't have him come, but they did an ultrasound and he ended up missing it. It's really up to you and your husband and what you think is best. At least if he goes to everu apppintment, he won't miss anything.