FFFC

iuprae

My in-laws are coming into town from out of state this weekend and I am working.  I don't normally work weekends but actually looking forward to this.  It will still allow me to see them in the evenings and that is just enough!

Mrs.Leah.Maria

lola0915:

Mrs.Leah.Maria:

lola0915:

And if one more person mentions 'there goes your body', 'are you concerned about losing the baby weight' because I'm pregnant with triplets, I'm going to scream. 

While I've never carried triplets, you are not writing off your body. Sure things change, time and gravity will do that, but you can have your body back! 

That sounds reassuring!!! 

I'm sure triplets are probably three times as difficult a regular pregnancy, but just try to keep your eating in line and walk as much as you're allowed. I've been within 2-3 lbs of my pre-pregnancy weight with DS1 with my last two pregnancies. Hard work is hard work pregnant or not, but it pays off.  

sbonnie

medblais:

I love MH dearly, and we have been through so much these past 2 years, BUT- he's fat and I can't take it. I don't see him everyday, more like every other weekend, so everytime I see him it looks like he's getting FATTER! It is the hugest turn off in the world, which is saying a lot because I am horny all the time! Last time I was pregnant it made me nauseous when his belly touched my pregnant one. Now I am almost repulsed to just look at him. I know I am making him sound grotesquely obese, and hes not- just looks like the baby is due any day, and the baby keeps getting bigger. I want to make a wager with him that as much as I gain during this pregnancy he has to lose. But I know it will hurt his feelings so I haven't said anything yet.

I think that sooner or later you're going to have to find a way to bring it up or you're going to continue to resent him for getting bigger and that will cause more issues.

I know it's not gonna be easy but it might be necessary.

Good luck!!

branmuffin2112

My step sister and her husband are coming up in 2 weeks. I was really excited about this when we planned it but now that I'm pregnant I'm totally exhausted and not in the mood for entertaining. I probably should put my big girl panties on and look forward to the visit but then the other half of me wants to cancel the weekend. Ugh

 

Dresch25

randomnames:

I've been a bad employee since my BFP. I'm not getting anything done because I'm constantly on TB or reading other pg things. I feel guilty, but I just can't stop.

I can relate, I have spent the last week readung books on my kindle and surfing the net while I should be working.   

libfish825

MH works 50+ hour weeks, I am a new SAHM (couldn't take the night shift anymore), and I still get raging mad at him for not helping out more at home. 

He is a slob and our house gets trashed in the 30 minutes I need after he gets home at night to get coursework done.  

 

Also (and this is a rough one) my best friend just had a m/c. She had been going to my ob because she needed a new one and I love the whole practice... and she hated it and now keeps trashing them to me like she blames them for her m/c. The FFFC is that I totally resent her m/c for the stress it's causing me. I am completely emotionally drained from shouldering her grief and anger toward my ob (who I still love), but I don't feel like I can ask her to lay off in her hour of need, you know? 

rlanser

pachisophic:

ChicagoBroad26:

I love food in powdered form. Like, the cheese from Mac & Cheese, the powder from cocoa, etc. Maybe it stems from my days as a competitive swimmer when they would juice us up on Jello mix before a race. Pretty weird. 

MMMM - MacandCheese.....

I definitely ate Kraft MacandCheese for breakfast this morning. I had been up since 6am and had already cleaned and worked out. I didn?t have to be into work until 10, so I made the shapes kind, and I loved every minute of it.

Murraydog

I'm sitting at my desk at work looking at pinterest on my phone and the bump on the computer.   Looks like I'm going to get a lot done today! 

Also......I had a piece of peach pie with whipped cream for breakfast.

molly1108-2

Mrs.Leah.Maria:

I clip my nails at work. I'm that girl.

 

Me too! I full on manicure kit!

molly1108-2

Mrs.Leah.Maria:

I clip my nails at work. I'm that girl.

 

Me too! I have a full on manicure kit!

kammmmay

Fremdschamen:

randomnames:

I've been a bad employee since my BFP. I'm not getting anything done because I'm constantly on TB or reading other pg things. I feel guilty, but I just can't stop.

 ^This exactly.

I've also been slacking on my running because I'm nervous about it.  Rationally, I know the baby will be fine, but you can probably guess the huge role emotions are playing in my decisions these days. 

My confession is that we will probably start working on our future nursery this weekend.  I know someone's UO yesterday was that it is too early, but MH is a slacker, and if I don't help him it won't get done.  I figure I'm way more able to help him now than farther down the line.  The room is hideously ugly right now (we just moved into the house in June and have a lot of renovating to do), so new paint and new flooring are needed anyways.  We won't be buying any furniture, clothing or accessories till later in the pregnancy.

I already started mine. I know what I am going to do regardless of the sex of the baby, so I want to get it out of the way before I am too big. I am doing a huge mural all the way around the room, so it will probably take me quite a while. I only have the 2 hours DD naps on the two days a week I am off or the time after she is in bed. Last time I didn't get DDs room done in time and I definitely won't have time to finish after the baby while working and watching 2u2.

teddib20

K&JPgh2011:

Mrs.Leah.Maria:

I clip my nails at work. I'm that girl.

 

Me too! I have a full on manicure kit!

I admit I've done this multiple times too. I have clippers in my desk. I often polish my nails too. I share an office with a good friend who does the same so I don't feel bad. We just shut the door (no windows!) and spray body spray when we paint our nails.

My FFFC is that I already plan on napping every day during this 3 day weekend. Tomorrow I plan on floating in the pool all day and I will probably nap there as well. It's going to be great.

Buggygirl84

My son will be 2 yrs 4 months when this LO arrives. I'm thinking about moving him to the basement (we have a multi-level) when the new baby comes even though he's probably way too young to be down there. And it's all because I'm selfish and do not want LO to sleep with us at first. We put my son in his crib from night one and he was a GREAT sleeper! I'm a terrible sleeper and know that if baby is in a bassinet in my room, I won't sleep a wink. Also, making my son put up with a new baby in his room will disturb his sleep. *sigh*

molly1108-2

We just moved and H is working his butt off to get everything unpacked and painted and fixed and whatever else. I'm not. I'm sitting around. I unpack things that I can unpacked from a sitting position. I told him I'd help with bigger projects on the weekend because I'm just too tired at the end of the work day, but I'm not convinced I will. I'm also not sure I feel guilty. I'd just rather watch Real Housewives (which in itself is probably a reason to be flamed).

kammmmay

My FFFC: MH and I aren't the most attractive people by any means, but we seriously made a gorgeous baby the first time. DD got the perfect mixture of our features. I am terrified that this baby is going to be the opposite, like we used all the good genes on her. Since racially mixed babies tend to be super cute, I hope that saves us again. I will obviously love them unconditionally no matter what, but I know what its like growing up as the ugly duckling compared to your peers and I really don't wish that for my kids. 

TheSinger

minimuffin13:

I havent been eating right! My food aversions and m/s really isnt helping! I try my best but honestly most days i eat significantly less than i did pre-pregnancy!!

 

This.  And even though I've lost weight, I'm pretty sure it's all been muscle loss and not fat loss.  I was getting into shape pre-pregnancy and I can feel my muscles getting softer since I haven't been exercising.

rayofsunshine99

I don't open any of the loss threads.  I am not trying to be heartless or insensitive, but I am so afraid of losing this baby too and every time I see a loss that is further along than I am I think "That could be me!!!!"  so I can't open them.

I also haven't been going on PgAL because reading the loss info in everyone's siggies (10 weeks, 20 weeks, 31 weeks etc) is a constant reminder that I will never be "safe" in this pregnancy and have it on my mind enough as it is. 

Sucks though, I feel like a jerk.

brunstar

kelsea1031:

jjs2010:

kelsea1031:

My ILs are arriving in the morning for a "surprise visit." They haven't told us, but it's been confirmed by multiple family members and we know they're on their way now. M/S be damned, you can bet money that this house will be in tip top shape, great meal plan for the weekend, etc. And I plan on acting totally surprised when they show up and letting MIL think that this is how our house/life looks all the time!

 

Do they show up unannounced often?  That would drive me crazy.  We had to put my IL's on a call first policy

No, thankfully! We live in Wisconsin and they live in Florida, so this is actually only the second time they've been here since DD was born. Trust me, if they were closer, we would absolutely have a policy!

Hi fellow Wisconsinite! I have a feeling we'll have to implement that b/c my inlaws are only 40 min away. But they would still just show up.

klp927

K&JPgh2011:

We just moved and H is working his butt off to get everything unpacked and painted and fixed and whatever else. I'm not. I'm sitting around. I unpack things that I can unpacked from a sitting position. I told him I'd help with bigger projects on the weekend because I'm just too tired at the end of the work day, but I'm not convinced I will. I'm also not sure I feel guilty. I'd just rather watch Real Housewives (which in itself is probably a reason to be flamed).

I just watched THREE hours of Gossip Girl and plan on catching up on Toddlers and Tiara's. Meanwhile the house is a mess and I have mountains of laundry to do.  

brunstar

I hate the middle name MH wants to use if we have a son. It's his dad's name Marvin. I really really really hate it. I'm trying to be thankful that he isn't pushing for it to be the first name.

sbonnie

rayofsunshine99:

I don't open any of the loss threads.  I am not trying to be heartless or insensitive, but I am so afraid of losing this baby too and every time I see a loss that is further along than I am I think "That could be me!!!!"  so I can't open them.

I also haven't been going on PgAL because reading the loss info in everyone's siggies (10 weeks, 20 weeks, 31 weeks etc) is a constant reminder that I will never be "safe" in this pregnancy and have it on my mind enough as it is. 

Sucks though, I feel like a jerk.

You're not a jerk... you're being self protective.

I do open the loss threads but everytime I do I panic a little so I can completely understand why you don't.

This is my first.... I did not think I would be so paranoid.

 

randomnames

rayofsunshine99:

I don't open any of the loss threads.nbsp; I am not trying to be heartless or insensitive, but I am so afraid of losing this baby too and every time I see a loss that is further along than I am I think "That could be me!!!!"nbsp; so I can't open them.I also haven't been going on PgAL because reading the loss info in everyone's siggies 10 weeks, 20 weeks, 31 weeks etc is a constant reminder that I will never be "safe" in this pregnancy and have it on my mind enough as it is.nbsp; Sucks though, I feel like a jerk.

I had to stop opening those too. It just wasn't worth the stress.

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Beachbum1216

Buggygirl84:

My son will be 2 yrs 4 months when this LO arrives. I'm thinking about moving him to the basement (we have a multi-level) when the new baby comes even though he's probably way too young to be down there. And it's all because I'm selfish and do not want LO to sleep with us at first. We put my son in his crib from night one and he was a GREAT sleeper! I'm a terrible sleeper and know that if baby is in a bassinet in my room, I won't sleep a wink. Also, making my son put up with a new baby in his room will disturb his sleep. *sigh*

So weird, our kids are the same age, we have the same due date and if this baby is a boy, we are going to name him Henry.  Crazy.

Anyway, my confession, I am milking this pregnancy for all its worth.  I feel a bit crappy in the evenings so I just tell my husband I can't stomach the thought of making dinner.  He is none the wiser as he was gone during my entire pregnancy last time. I am just so lazy these days. 

Beachbum1216

Buggygirl84:

My son will be 2 yrs 4 months when this LO arrives. I'm thinking about moving him to the basement (we have a multi-level) when the new baby comes even though he's probably way too young to be down there. And it's all because I'm selfish and do not want LO to sleep with us at first. We put my son in his crib from night one and he was a GREAT sleeper! I'm a terrible sleeper and know that if baby is in a bassinet in my room, I won't sleep a wink. Also, making my son put up with a new baby in his room will disturb his sleep. *sigh*

So weird, our kids are the same age, we have the same due date and if this baby is a boy, we are going to name him Henry.  Crazy.

Anyway, my confession, I am milking this pregnancy for all its worth.  I feel a bit crappy in the evenings so I just tell my husband I can't stomach the thought of making dinner.  He is none the wiser as he was gone during my entire pregnancy last time. I am just so lazy these days. 

txleia

My in-laws are the no-boundaries type. We had to establish a call-first rule when DS was born. While I was pregnant and DH and FIL were remodeling our kitchen, I would frequently come home from work around 3pm to find my ILs (yes - both of them - my MIL would sit on the couch and read while FIL worked) there, and they wouldn't leave until supper time. I felt trapped. Once, my mom and I came home from a shopping trip, saw their truck in the yard, turned around and went to Starbucks. LOL.

As for the FFFC part... sometimes FIL and/or BIL come over to help DH with a small project. The most recent one was moving the swing set so a tree could be taken down. Both times I knew the ENTIRE family (ILs, BIL, and his two kids - they all live together) would show up, so I told DH to make everyone stay outside. Sometimes I feel bad, since they always stay much longer than just moving the swing set, but I can't have all that crazy in my house randomly. 

kammmmay

TheSinger:

minimuffin13:

I havent been eating right! My food aversions and m/s really isnt helping! I try my best but honestly most days i eat significantly less than i did pre-pregnancy!!

 

This.  And even though I've lost weight, I'm pretty sure it's all been muscle loss and not fat loss.  I was getting into shape pre-pregnancy and I can feel my muscles getting softer since I haven't been exercising.

Ditto. Now that I haven't been heaving as much, I am going to try to work my ass off, but still have found no motivation.  

lovelyday39

rayofsunshine99:

I don't open any of the loss threads.  I am not trying to be heartless or insensitive, but I am so afraid of losing this baby too and every time I see a loss that is further along than I am I think "That could be me!!!!"  so I can't open them.

I also haven't been going on PgAL because reading the loss info in everyone's siggies (10 weeks, 20 weeks, 31 weeks etc) is a constant reminder that I will never be "safe" in this pregnancy and have it on my mind enough as it is. 

Sucks though, I feel like a jerk.

Awww, I just want to hug your guts right now--- (((HUG)))

You are not a jerk, your heart just hurts. I think anyone can understand that.

UberBiz

rayofsunshine99:

I don't open any of the loss threads.  I am not trying to be heartless or insensitive, but I am so afraid of losing this baby too and every time I see a loss that is further along than I am I think "That could be me!!!!"  so I can't open them.

I also haven't been going on PgAL because reading the loss info in everyone's siggies (10 weeks, 20 weeks, 31 weeks etc) is a constant reminder that I will never be "safe" in this pregnancy and have it on my mind enough as it is. 

Sucks though, I feel like a jerk.

It doesn't make me fearful or nervous about a possible loss on my part. I don't like opening them only because then I feel obligated to write a response, and really, the only thing to respond with is another "I'm so sorry for your loss." And one of the things I hate (which is probably why I don't respond more) is repeating exactly what 20 people before me just said.

medblais

cvl105:

Mrs.Leah.Maria:

medblais:

I want to make a wager with him that as much as I gain during this pregnancy he has to lose. But I know it will hurt his feelings so I haven't said anything yet.

Unfortunately, it might hurt his feelings, but if he is continuing to gain, at what point is he going to have a wake up call?

I'm not sure how you communicate in your marriage, but with DH and I, it is out of respect for each other that we try to stay fit. He needs to have respect for himself, you and your future and make his health a priority. And that unfortunately will involve some awkward conversations and potentially hurt feelings. ie refrain from saying you're repulsed by him.

Does he like sports? Does he have a history of being active? What is his work situation that he's gone so much? What are his eating habits like? It may be the last thing you want to do, but you will need to support changes. 

I agree with PP...you definitely need to say something, just how is the question. Does he eat out a lot? It sounds like he's not home a lot since you rarely see each other? Is it because he works night shift or something? Can you start making him healthier meals to bring to work? Suggest going out for walks together or bike rides. It is a touchy subject...by try to address it like you want him to be healthy for himself and for your future children. 

 I have had many discussions with him about it, and he is not happy with it eiher. I have focused on health concerns that can be increased when you carry so much weight in front of you, I have focused on his overall health and I know how sensitive of a person he is and I try to be considerate of that. He does not know how to make realistic goals though. He will work out everyday until he gets buned out, in the process losing weight, but once he gets burned out it comes right back as he does nothing. He is out of town, and right now eating out ALOT, which adds to the weight gain. He had been doing good about cooking for himself and making healthier choices, but not so much lately. He enjoys playing hockey, and was part of a local league, but is out of town so much he can't commit. I know he is frustrated, and that he doesn't like the weight, but obviously he doesn't feel strongly enough to really try to do something about it right now. At this point saying something would be like beating a dead horse. He knows what he needs to do, he is just not doing it.

medblais

rayofsunshine99:

I don't open any of the loss threads.  I am not trying to be heartless or insensitive, but I am so afraid of losing this baby too and every time I see a loss that is further along than I am I think "That could be me!!!!"  so I can't open them.

I also haven't been going on PgAL because reading the loss info in everyone's siggies (10 weeks, 20 weeks, 31 weeks etc) is a constant reminder that I will never be "safe" in this pregnancy and have it on my mind enough as it is. 

Sucks though, I feel like a jerk.

You shouldn't feel like a jerk. You need to handle this pregnancy the best way that you can, and if that is focusing on positive posts, then there really is nothing wrong with that. I took a few months off TB all together because it just kept bringing me to a negative, obsessive headspace. Do what you need and what works for you. I don't see any reason to feel bad about it.

PokeMom

kammmmay:

My FFFC: MH and I aren't the most attractive people by any means, but we seriously made a gorgeous baby the first time. DD got the perfect mixture of our features. I am terrified that this baby is going to be the opposite, like we used all the good genes on her. Since racially mixed babies tend to be super cute, I hope that saves us again. I will obviously love them unconditionally no matter what, but I know what its like growing up as the ugly duckling compared to your peers and I really don't wish that for my kids.nbsp;

I'm right there with you. I was always the ugly duckling and DH isn't exactly the model type we both fully acknowledge that we aren't supermodels but DD was absolutely gorgeous and still is. Honestly, and this is flame worthy in itself, other babies just aren't as cute anymore to me when I have such a stunning kid. DH and I worry about having a child who will be less so and then they'll feel like their being compared to their sister and losing for the rest of their life as I was with my younger sister. Ik it's wrong, but it's the silly things I worry over.

Another confession: my house is a disaster area. It would shock anyone who walked in just now. I can barely do anything for the m/s so I just let DD do whatever. When I get the energy I might tackle the dishes and what not, but it isn't looking promising.

Mrs.Leah.Maria

medblais:

I have had many discussions with him about it, and he is not happy with it eiher. At this point saying something would be like beating a dead horse. He knows what he needs to do, he is just not doing it.

I'm so sorry dear. That is a really frustrating position to be in. My stepdad worked out of state for 5 years and essentially visited home every few months. The vagabond lifestyle is extremely hard on the waist line. I really hope that he can find something that works and that he decides he wants to focus on getting better for good.

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kammmmay

PokeMom:

kammmmay:

My FFFC: MH and I aren't the most attractive people by any means, but we seriously made a gorgeous baby the first time. DD got the perfect mixture of our features. I am terrified that this baby is going to be the opposite, like we used all the good genes on her. Since racially mixed babies tend to be super cute, I hope that saves us again. I will obviously love them unconditionally no matter what, but I know what its like growing up as the ugly duckling compared to your peers and I really don't wish that for my kids.nbsp;

I'm right there with you. I was always the ugly duckling and DH isn't exactly the model type we both fully acknowledge that we aren't supermodels but DD was absolutely gorgeous and still is. Honestly, and this is flame worthy in itself, other babies just aren't as cute anymore to me when I have such a stunning kid. DH and I worry about having a child who will be less so and then they'll feel like their being compared to their sister and losing for the rest of their life as I was with my younger sister. Ik it's wrong, but it's the silly things I worry over. Another confession: my house is a disaster area. It would shock anyone who walked in just now. I can barely do anything for the m/s so I just let DD do whatever. When I get the energy I might tackle the dishes and what not, but it isn't looking promising.

Exactly. As much as I would love another little girl, I am kind of hoping for a boy so that they won't be compared in that way.

My house is also a disaster. I have been trying to go through DDs toys and put some away, but she just takes them right back out. I can't keep up.  

Patches842

I can't seem to get involved in this board or anything pregnancy related. I am scared of another loss and that I might actually make friends then have to say goodbye.  I know I have to give support to get support... but I cannot seem to get excited about names, diapering plans, or nursery designs knowing I might lose this baby. 

My first u/s is next Thursday and I will be 7w2d. My last pregnancy was over (baby stopped growing) at 7w2d. We haven't told anyone about this pregnancy. All family is 2000+ miles away and our local friends have older children or none at all. Heck, we barely talk about this pregnancy between the two of us.  Maybe that will change after 2 successful u/s, if we are blessed enough to get that far.  So I guess my FFFC is that I'm a freaked out, panicking mess who is a terrible poster right now but plans to get more involved when we are a little more secure about this pregnancy.

 

Yikes - sorry that was so long.

 

 

Patches842

ETA:  Oops... meant to quote MirroredImage (sorry!)

"You do not get to apologize for not being active on this board. You are dealing with this pregnancy the way you need to in order to emotionally handle the pregnancy and prepare for having a LO. It's hard and scary and unless a person has suffered a loss they don't get that.

I understand the idea behind getting what you give on these boards but if there is one thing that should ALWAYS be supported, not matter how often a person posts, it's someone experiencing loss. I say that because it could very easily be anyone of us at any moment.

So no matter how often you post know that I will give you support because PGALs are so different than regular pregnancies. "

Thank you so much. You made me cry (in the good way).

txleia

CoffeeMonster19:

Grace0609:

txleia:

My in-laws are the no-boundaries type. We had to establish a call-first rule when DS was born. While I was pregnant and DH and FIL were remodeling our kitchen, I would frequently come home from work around 3pm to find my ILs (yes - both of them - my MIL would sit on the couch and read while FIL worked) there, and they wouldn't leave until supper time. I felt trapped. Once, my mom and I came home from a shopping trip, saw their truck in the yard, turned around and went to Starbucks. LOL.

Um, I could have written this post.  I am actually glad to hear that someone else in the world feels the same way, and, presumably, we are not evil people for feeling it.

My ILs are the same way.  And we live 24 hours away, but now if they see me on Skype (which I keep on often so my h can call) they will just video call without warning so I have to keep my status as "unavailable". lol

WHEW. Glad I'm not the only one! I'm an introvert, and I don't like entertaining if I'm not prepared for it - and as many times as DH has told me I don't have to entertain his mom, it still feels like I need to have a clean house, make tea, and chat, when I'd rather be bumping or reading. :P

They've "called ahead" (10 mins away) right before supper several times, to drop something off or some such. I put a lot of effort into having supper ready as soon as DH gets home so we can eat as a family. It makes everything so much easier for the rest of the evening. So when the food is getting cold, DH is still outside, and DS is starving, it gets really frustrating. 

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