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JellyTwoPointO

KateLouise

I have no experience with adoptio, but to me the important aspects to AP are that you create a close bond with your child by having physical closeness and responding to their needs.

There are lots of ways to have physical closeness without BF. Brushing hair, massaging hands/feet, drawing letters or pictures on each other's backs. There are also playful ways to have contact like a piggyback ride to the park, or putting them in your lap to take them down a side. These are less intimate than bedsharing or bathing together. (Not suggesting you shouldn't bedshare or bathe together, but as you say you will be strangers to begin with)

I also think part of being that safe person that your child can absolutely rely on is creating a routine. Most kids thrive on routine and consistency, but I imagine for a child that goes through the upheaval of fostering/adoption it's even more important to help them settle into a new home.

Obviously there's day to day routine like eating dinner at the table, but there is also routine that helps create closeness. everynight when I tuck my 2 yr old I lie on her bed and we talk about our day. When she was very little it was mostly me talking about what we'd done and what I'd enjoyed. Now she's more verbal she does most of the talking.  It's a nice way to snuggle, and it gives me insight into what's going on for her. Simple routines like reading a book before bed also allow snuggle time and open up opportunities to talk about thing. It's daily rituals like that, that help build a bond and help you get to know each other. 

Good luck with your adoption journey. the ladies here have lots of great parenting ideas and are super supportive.

 

twocents6708

I am a family resource specialist in our state, working with foster parents. I would welcome AP foster parents in my group but I know that some of our agency policies are not very AP friendly. For example, no beds sharing is allowed or even room sharing for kids 2. This is due to the nature of some kids' background. That being said baby wearing, positive discipline, and some of the other AP practices could easily be implemented with foster kids. I think practicing AP with kiddos would be ideal. Good luck!

JennaNAaron

I'm more of a lurker, but I just wanted to say in our county bed sharing with foster children isn't allowed.  So OP you might want to check into the rules/regs with your agency.

JellyTwoPointO

I sorry I'm just now getting back to these replies but THANK YOU. This is wonderful insight that I'm going to share with my husband! And I'm going to get the book that was recommended to me too. And I knew that bedsharing wouldn't be ok both because of agency rules before the adoption is finalized and also possible previous trauma that it could trigger, but I appreciate the other ideas you gave. 

 One question though.... How can you breast feed an adopted infant, as one PP said? I guess I'm not sure how that's biologically possible.  

pitterpatter129

Jellybean902:

I sorry I'm just now getting back to these replies but THANK YOU. This is wonderful insight that I'm going to share with my husband! And I'm going to get the book that was recommended to me too. And I knew that bedsharing wouldn't be ok both because of agency rules before the adoption is finalized and also possible previous trauma that it could trigger, but I appreciate the other ideas you gave. 

 One question though.... How can you breast feed an adopted infant, as one PP said? I guess I'm not sure how that's biologically possible.  

Good luck on your adoptive journey!

Adoptive nursing:  https://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/relactation-and-adoptive-nursing

With certain medications and suckling/pumping, most women can produce at least a little milk even if they haven't recently given birth.  It would be a lot of hard work.  I've seen a few women on these boards that were successful in doing so though!  I'm sure if you post the question here and on the breastfeeding board, many people can offer more resources for you!  This is just one I found via google.

 

 

jmetzler05

I work in foster care adoption and am SO excited to hear that you are adopting, and already actively ways to use attachment parenting with a toddler or older child.  One of the very best resources I know of is Dr. Karyn Purvis' material at www.empoweredtoconnect.org.  Everything is about "connecting while correcting" and offers some very practical applications of the attachment parenting mindset. 

This specific blog post provides a wonderful example of how to do "time in" instead of "time out" and I just loved the idea.  I think the rest of this blog would also have some really great stuff for you to check out.  All the best to you on your adoption journey!

https://tonaottinger.wordpress.com/2012/08/28/time-in-and-our-time-in-bin/