I've only been back to work 2 weeks (I'm a teacher, so I was off for the summer) and I already feel terrible. I never wanted to be a working mom to begin with, but I have no choice. Our two incomes are necessary to survive. But I HATE it. It's nothing against my job at all, I love my job and it's perfect for me. But all I really wanted was to be a full-time mom.
I feel terrible when I leave DS. When I pick him up I have to go straight home, feed him, then make dinner. By the time I get dinner cleaned up it's bedtime for DS. I get almost no time with him. He's not attached to anyone, so he never seems to miss me at all. He doesn't cry when I leave or get excited when I come back...I just feel like I'm not his mom anymore. Just another one of his caregivers. And I miss having my buddy all day After my maternity leave I was ok after a week or so back at work. But this summer I felt like I was doing what I was meant to do, so it's been harder to go back now. I just need some encouragement right now. I've cried every night this week!
Re: working moms: I'm feeling depressed :/
I'm sorry that you're having a rough time. Try to hang in there.
We have hugely rearranged our evening schedules to get a bit more time with DD. Pre-baby, we usually worked out after work, then showered, made dinner, etc. But maintaining that routine would mean no time with DD before her 7:30 bedtime, so things had to change.
Now when we get home from daycare, we will usually eat something small like a yogurt or a piece of fruit so we can wait until after DD goes to bed to make dinner. That way we can give her our full attention for the two or so hours between when we get home and when she goes to bed. Dinner ends up being late and I have had to learn to run with dinner in my tummy, which is something I thought I could never do, but it has all worked out.
I hope this gets better for you. Maybe a change in routine would help some.
Duke's House: Eating and Running with the Big Dog in Chennai: eatrunbrit.com
2010 Race PRs:
5K - 24:57 10M - 1:28:20 13.1M - 1:57:29 26.2M - 4:28:29
I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. And I think all of us working moms can relate. It's not easy but it does get better. And your little man definitely knows, loves and needs his mommy and pretty soon he'll give you the grin every time he sees you
Just like PP said, see if you can change your routine a bit. I get up extra early so I can be ready and showered and can then in piece spend the time with DD to get her ready and still have time to do a little dance with her before we take off and not rush around trying to gather things. In the evening, we go home and we spend the time with her. Once she goes to bed, we eat, clean up and do whatever else we need to do. If we don't get it all done, oh well, it will wait for us the next day.
Hang in there!!!!
I am a school psych, so I work in the schools too. I know it is so hard! I work really hard when I am at work, but I arrive no earlier than I have to and I leave right when I can. Other staff are in my office and I am literally packing up and walking out as they are talking to me. I still complete everything I need to do, I just stay for the 7 hours I am required. Have you considered doing this? Maybe you can do your planning at home, after LO goes to bed at night?
One thing I try to think about is how much more time I get with DD than some other working moms. We get snow days, vacations all the time, SUMMER, and I get to see DD for 1 hour before work and 4 hours after work. I miss her a lot during the day, but I have to say it gets easier. It helps me to know that she is having fun at daycare (they have video monitoring so I get to watch her) while I am working. Sometimes I call them to see how her mood is, to make sure she is happy (if you don't have video monitoring, maybe you can do this?) Your LO knows you are his mommma- he knows your smell, voice much better than anyone else's!
Just some ideas. Hang in there. Christmas vacation will be here before you know it! And it's a long vacation with the way new year's day falls!!
DC#2 born silent at 22 weeks 1.11.11
Dc#3 born vbac 1/2012 <bra DC#4 born VBAC 3/2014
I am a teacher too, and I feel the exact same way that you do. I actually lost my job in the spring, so I was ok with being extremely poor for a little while until I found another job. BUT then my school district recalled me and I couldn't turn it down because of the money.
I am sad every single day. What makes it worse is that DH is sad about it too. He likes knowing that I am home with my kids. I don't know what the answer is because IMO, we have a great job to be a mom. We get so many breaks/ holidays off and we get summer off. But it's the working days that really suck.
I also have a 3 year old. So, essentially, I have been feeling this way for over 3 years. The only good thing that I keep reminding myself of is that fact that my 3 year old likes going to daycare and even though I hate leaving him, I know that it will get easier as time goes on with my new little one.
I'm not sure what you teach, but maybe next year you can look into an teaching for an online school. You would be home, but teaching. You would probably still need daycare in some way, but it would cut down on some travel time and other things that take you away from LO while working outside the home. I looked into it and even had an interview, but I didn't get the job
GL- and just know that it does get a little easier day by day.
I have my DH make dinner, and that helps. When we get home he cooks while I nurse.