Dealing with the ugly green monster of envy...

HorseMom

How do you do it?
Dealing with the envy?
Let me explain a bit more... I struggle with low supply, IGT and I EP due to my DD having a TT and LT that went undiagnosed for 3 months.

For me my struggle to BF has been a long one filled with specialist and many tears. I now have been EPing for 17 weeks and going strong,

So when I see people with full supplies and babies with great latches the envy rises... then the guilt for feeling that way.

My best friend just had a baby and I'm beyond happy for her. And her bfing experience is one of that you dream of. Im having such a hard time putting my envy of her to rest.

Does anyone else deal with this?

texasmeg1

I too am envious of people who seem to have an easy time with it. It was one of the things that I had looked forward to the most. I am pumping and having to supplement with a few formula bottles a day and it brings me to tears everyday but I'm slowly accepting things and see how happy my LO makes things easier.

jlsimon56

Someone (on here) said "BFing isn't everything" and I thought about that b/c she was right.  Sometimes, it certainly felt (to me) that it was.  But there is so much more.  I focus on those things. 

mylittlesunshine

Just remember, she might be coming across this way to make herself feel better about her own bf'ing issues. She might have great supply or the perfect latch, but for all you know, she could be dealing with clogged ducts, sore nipples etc etc etc.

I am still using a sheild and am jealous of women who don't need them, but I have an awesome supply and can nurse in public...something my friend who doesn't use a sheild doesn't have/do.

ktshafra

I also have low supply and IGT. First I want to say way to go, momma! I'm super impressed you've been pumping for nearly 4 months! You're doing an amazing job.

That said, I can totally relate to your feelings of jealousy. I'm particularly bothered when women who don't know what it's like to struggle with BFing will make comments about how much they don't like BFing their LO. Only 2 friends have ever expressed this to me and it's so frustrating because I want to successfully breastfeed so desperately and wasn't able to last time, then it sounds like they're fully capable to and don't want to. 

I'm now working my butt off to establish supply while my 34 weeker is in the NICU. I'm envious of the moms whose milk just appears and overflows. But I'm also keeping a positive attitude and that helps. 

As a PP said, everyone has their own issues (BF or not) that we just don't always know about. If we did, we might want our own "problems" back. 

PotomacSt

Being a mom is hard no matter what. Some babies have no problems BFing, but never sleep through the night, or have horrible colic that lasts for months, or get sick frequently, or  mom struggles with post-partum depression, lack of spouse/family support, or financial troubles.

I know BFing is very important to all of us (that's why we're here!) but it's not the only aspect to being a mom.

 You sound like you're doing a great job though.... I'm sure many moms in your position would have given up by now (there's a reason the BFing rate falls off a cliff between birth and 3 mo).Way to go

tokenhoser

You've got a healthy baby.

I can find you a million women that are really jealous of that.

It's hard, but you have to reach a point with your own situation where you realize that someone else's easy time has nothing to do with your hard time. Life isn't fair.

kcircell

I just take a deep breath and truthfully allow myself a minute to wallow in it and then move on.  I always knew I wanted to BF and I knew it would be emotional, but the reality of using your body to keep another human alive is so all encompassing, so I let myself have a little emotional room with it.  I also like to think of something I read once, that Dr. Oz said.  No one is giving out grades here!  Breastfeed for a year doesn't equal A+ and stopping sooner doesn't mean you get a lesser grade.  You have done your very best for as long as you have and you'll tackle tomorrow as it comes.