alone again..

acbfreire

DH was gone for work out-of-state when LO was 10 days, MIL came to stay with me for 10 days, then I was alone for 2 weeks. We have no family near by and my "friends" totally disappear even though we live in the same apartment complex.

I had a c-section and was very emotional/ exhausted the first couple of weeks. Being alone with a newborn is not easy, so I hired a neighbor to help for a couple hrs/day after MIL was gone, but that's it.

My dad came to stay with me and has been here for a month. SM came to join him last Sunday. They leave tomorrow and DH only returns on the 2nd.

I love being a mom and I love DD more than anything, but these have been the hardest months of my life. Being tired, feeling lonely and having to care for my LO without a break is a challenge. I know it will get better but it is been an emotional rollercoaster.

 

 

EmmyPumpkin

Awwww, I'm so sorry you feel this way. It's very understandable. I get really lonely too. Hang in there, you become stronger and a more capable mommy with each new challenge. And don't forget your cyber-mommy-friends here on TB!

Take good care of yourself, emotionally and physically, and don't try to take on too much until you have more help.   

Sending you hugs and smiles!  

notfrancie

You are a champion-- I would really struggle doing this by myself without DH.  The super hard part is almost over-- another month or two and things should improve-- more engagement, longer sleeping, etc.  Light at the end of the tunnel!  Hugs to you!

acbfreire

Thanks ladies

mandateach517

DH is a fireman and works shifts.  He is out of the house 2 or 3 nights a week overnight.  Sometimes he works 24s.  So even though he is not gone for extended amounts of time, I do understand what it feels like to be on your own.  I think you are doing all the right things.  Give yourself credit!  Keep smiling and enjoy every second with LO.  Those gummy smiles have to remind you that it is all worth it! 

drbethc

I totally understand too...DH is gone a lot and I'm alone 5 out of 7 nights with LO...And when he is home, he's not much help because he's asleep. It was really hard for me as well in the beginning...Now that I'm back to work, my mom watches LO for a few hours 3x a week. It really isn't easy...

 

When DH comes back on the 2nd is that for good? Or will he have to leave again? 

KrissyMiss

I can relate! Although I have my DH here with me, we have no family nearby at all, and we aren't all that close with any friends here, and the friends we do have here don't have any children so we're in completely different points in our lives. I knew that having a newborn would be a challenge, but I didn't realize how lonely and isolating it can be!

Feel free to PM me if you like. Things will get easier soon

JessieCupcake

*hugs* It must be so hard with your H away for work and no family near by. I know it's not the same but you always have us if you ever want to talk or just vent.

You are doing a great job! Hang in there.

mkflower3000

You are so brave for getting through it! I couldn't imagine being alone with DD all the time... Even now that things are a little easier and I'm not bluesy anymore, I still rely on others (DH and parents) for company and sanity after being by myself with a 2 1/2 month old all day long. We recently moved so no friends around, and as PP said the ones from our old place don't have kids and wouldn't understand what it's like anyway.

I'm sorry that this is happening to you, but the 2nd will be here soon I know this might sound silly, but when I really need to feel like a certain time period isn't as far as it seems, I try to make counts out of random things. For example, going through 2 boxes of breast pads got me from DD being 2 months to her almost turning 3 months old (counting in breast pads made it seem like time went by faster!). 

Will your DH be able to stick around for longer after he returns? 

acbfreire

drbethc:

I totally understand too...DH is gone a lot and I'm alone 5 out of 7 nights with LO...And when he is home, he's not much help because he's asleep. It was really hard for me as well in the beginning...Now that I'm back to work, my mom watches LO for a few hours 3x a week. It really isn't easy...

 

When DH comes back on the 2nd is that for good? Or will he have to leave again? 

 

He is back for good, as of right now.

Starbear06

Sorry you are feeling this way. I know the feeling of loneliness. The good thing is the hardest part of the newborn stage is over. And each day you get through you get stronger and more confidant. From all of your previous posts, I think you are doing a great job given your H situation and your DD is very lucky to have a patient mama like you. Keep up the good work and you always have our support here! I think a lot of us go through similar experiences.

acbfreire

Thank you, it is good to have other moms to share our ups and downs

luvtodanz

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. I think we live pretty close if i remember some previous posts....i'm in central mn. I don't have any family or friends up here...so that makes it lonely too even though dh is here.

acbfreire

luvtodanz:

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. I think we live pretty close if i remember some previous posts....i'm in central mn. I don't have any family or friends up here...so that makes it lonely too even though dh is here.

yep, I am in central MN 

MrsC968

Wow, you are a trooper! I'm very impressed and proud of you for doing so much on your own. I had a c-section too and it was really hard. Hang in there, mama! Your DH will be home soon, then you need some good pampering!

luvtodanz

Have you found any Mom groups or anything up here? I found some Mom me classes, but they are all during the day when i'm working.

acbfreire

I am planning on going to a LLL meeting but the times are horrible.

luvtodanz

If you ever need to talk or wanna meet up, let me know. It would be good to meet someone going through the same thing and who is not also.a coworker.

acbfreire

It would be great! Thanks. I sent you a PM.

BR

I'm so sorry.  I would hate to go through all of this alone.  It's been such an emotional time.  Hang in there.

jamiah18

Im sorry you are alone and I give you a TON of credit. This is really making you one strong mamma bear! Enjoy your lo and dh will be back before you know it!:. hugs