Do you share your name with friends/family?

lily_721

I have noticed that several of my friends/family have chosen not share their LO's names until after birth.  (one was undecided, two didn't want family's opinion, not sure on the others). 

Part of me thinks this is really smart.  DH and I had a very short vague list and we have gotten STRONG opinions (Emmeline, Amelia, Connor, Cole). 

Another part makes me think, back off people (obviously unsolicited advice).  My bff picked an amazing name for her son but wouldn't tell anyone (because she didn't want to hear her mom's disappointment over the name choice).  Its an amazing name and makes me sad that she couldn't share her joy in picking a name.

I only have one currently pregnant friend who announced the name early on (they are having a boy and it was the boy name from when their daughter was born). 

cookiedough22

I am not TTC but I tossed around a particulary baby name that I loved to my close family. I researched the name and every time I found a famous person who may have had that name for their child I would talk about it to my SIL.

Well, she gets pregnant and then the says they are choosing between two names (one being the name I loved) She ended up naming her son the same name I gushed over for weeks. I was totally shocked because she never even mentioned the name was picked until I get to the baby shower and the name is on a poster.

So...I'm keeping names to myself for this reason. 

LoCarb

Like you we tossed around a few names and mentioned them to friends/family who all had an opinion to share. MH is easily persuaded so this wasn't a good route. With both kids we didn't tell anyone the final name until after they were born.  Also, b/c we didn't name them until the hospital (narrowed down choices).

Zimger

I did. I would like it if my family also liked the name, but it's not a requirement. I don't really forsee anyone in my family using the names I have picked. We have different naming styles. However, if that were to happen, I would be dissapointed but choose another name.

kerribear1717

I did talk and discuss names with friends/family, however, no one heard our final choices and didn't find out until the birth.  I felt it was pretty exciting announcing him name then.  It drove my mom nuts   She was asking when I was even in L&D in the hospital.  I told her wait a few more hours.

panacea05

I didn't want to, but DH took it upon himself to tell his mother both our girl pick and boy pick. She freaked out. "Arlo?? What kind of made-up name is that? Let's pray you don't have a son! That child will be picked on his whole life! How about a nice, normal name--like Dean??"

I'm so irritated that he told her because, while I still adore the name, her reaction did hurt. On a happier note, though, I can't stop laughing about her suggestion. Dean! 

BellaLux

Hmm, not sure yet! I think we may share a few names that we like, but the final name will not be decided until birth, up until that point we were probably consider the top two

MrsTBird

We never shared our names. We ended up sharing the mn's only because they were family names. My family tends to be very opinionated and I knew they would try to talk us out of DS' name. To this day, they admit they don't like his name, but they love my son, and to me that's all that matters. I don't regret keeping the names to ourselves.

nikip6454

We didn't tell anyone for two reasons, 1. The name is legit but a little different and I didn't want opinions her name is Elin pronounce EElynn and from the sounds yesterday is not a well liked name. 2. We choose to use my Mother's first name as E.'s mn and wanted it to be a surprise.

strawberrytree

panacea05:

I On a happier note, though, I can't stop laughing about her suggestion. Dean! 

I don't get it...what's so hilarious about Dean? Is your last name Martin or James or something?

 We didn't tell because I liked having a special little secret with my H- we were the only ones who could call our baby by his name while I was carrying him. I got just as much joy announcing his name after the birth as I would have before he was born, too.  

alliejo725

When we finally decided on DD#1's name (at, like, 33 weeks-ish), we decided to keep it a secret. We told our family that we'd settled on a name (it was quite a saga, because I like sooo many names), but that we weren't telling anyone. Nobody was upset by this. They liked the surprise.

With DD#2, we decided on a name early, and since it's a little...unique (Tallulah), we decided it was better to share it so that our families could have time to get used to it. It hasn't been a big deal at all. (We also wanted to share that we were using a family name as the middle name.) But I can see how it would be with more difficult family members; we're just fortunate to have very easy-going families.

benmel31

We don't have names set in stone yet, but we do not plan on sharing.  We don't want unsolicited opinions.  We have already made it clear that we will not be telling until the baby is born.

MichelleL1118

We didn't share DS's name until he was born (but in fairness, we didn't actually decide until about 2 weeks prior to that, so it wasn't a secret for long).  We have shared DD's name with family & close friends, although we have not shared our "backup" name in case the u/s was wrong and she's really a boy.

TrudyCampbell

I kept it a secret and I was glad I did. Your friends and family can share in the excitement after the baby is born. Also, part of me is superstitious and I didn't want to officially name the baby until after she was here. I know a lot of people do this and are fine with it, but I personally don't like it when people refer to the baby by name before it is born. 

SEWF

We shared with our families and friends. My mom even announced it on her facebook page, so all of her friends know, too. I'm pretty stubborn about what I like, so opinions outside of H's don't matter to me. The name isn't used a whole lot anymore (Malcolm George, nn Mal) but it means a lot to us. Everyone has pointed out that Mal means "bad" in Spanish, but we don't speak Spanish, so I don't care. Also, we'll call him Malcolm most of the time anyway.

The only real problem I've had so far was when one of my aunts called him "Georgie", because "your husband goes by his middle name, and I've been thinking of him as George since you told us his name". Yeah, we had it out and I asked her to respect me and my child and call him Malcolm. 

AimeeL85

We kept our son's name a secret until he was born. I wasn't that afraid of negative opinions because it's a pretty simple, common name (Ryan William) so I didn't think anyone close to us would really dislike it, but everyone knew it was a boy and I thought it was fun to keep an element of surprise there.

We will be doing the same with this one.  This time it's partially because I don't want opinions on the first name (not everyone will love it I'm sure) and partially because the middle name is to honor my cousin that passed away when we were kids, and I want that to be a surprise, too.

I already know my mom doesn't love the first name, but I am lucky that my mom is the "name her whatever you want and I will love it!" type, not the "oh please don't do that!" type.

cmhicklin

Last time yes...which led to SIL&BIL deciding the only name that they could possibly agree on was our #2 girl's name-first and mn exactly.  So this time around DH doesn't want to tell anybody the name, until we find out if we are having a boy or another girl. We did tell my grandma what names we were going to use.  She was dying and I wanted her to know since she would never get to meet LO#2. The few people that were there loved the names, so that was nice.

alandals

We will not share names in the future. With our daughter we got horrible feedback from the first couple names we chose for her. We ended up naming her something different than planned though not because of our families' input. They were all relieved.

My thinking is that if you haven't shared the name until the baby is born, nobody is going to hate it when you allow visitors to see the baby. They're going to be focused on the new arrival, not on his name.

Todd&Laura

I've told the names to close family and friends both times. Both times I have gotten a negative reaction from at least one person...last time was dad, this time was mom. It was disappointing, but it didn't make me change my mind about the names. Sometimes I wish I hadn't shared because those two reactions were upsetting, but it is really hard to keep the name secret when people are pushing to know.

LadyXaverian

We did share our name once it was absolutely decided. We didn't shout it from the rooftops, but we quietly told our immediate family. As we got closer to the due date, we told people with discretion, if they asked. We didn't get any negative feedback. We got either positive feedback or neutral/polite responses.

FirstBabyMomma

We shared our top choice for a girl and boy with family last time. We had a girl (we were team green) and didn't end up using the name because she just didn't look like a Maya.

This time, we aren't really sharing but I know a lot of people remember our top choice boy name and they have asked if we're using it. We probably will, but you just never know!

When people ask, I just say "We're not really sure....got any suggestions?"

KatieKim0815

We didn't share with DS and we aren't sharing with this one. Everyone has an opinion and a lot are vocal about it and somehow thinks that their input sways our decision which it doesn't. It's not meant to be unkind but others had a chance to name their babies and now it's our turn

pinottoparenthood

We haven't chosen a name yet (and obviously don't know the sex yet!), but I'm not going to tell.

First of all, like you mentioned, I really don't care to hear people's unsolicited opinions. No matter WHAT name you choose, someone is going to hate it. Some people like old-fashioned names, some people like modern names, some people like trendier names, some people hate them.... so you can never please everyone. I just like to think that they'll be less likely to say something hateful if they're gazing into the eyes of an adorbs baby.

My other reason is that I feel like it's something exciting to announce at the birth. It's so anticlimactic when everyone knows the baby's sex AND name... I want to keep SOMETHING as a surprise for when the baby is born! I have thought about trying to keep the sex a secret, too (my hubs and I would know).... but I just don't think I could hold that in! 

KatieKim0815

I should also say that you mentioned that it makes you sad your BFF couldn't share her joy in picking a name. I find much more joy in DH and I being able to pick a name for ourselves and telling everyone after we meet him and know that's the name. There's a lot more joy in that for me. That's just personal opinion!

pinottoparenthood

chelleb24:

I am not TTC but I tossed around a particulary baby name that I loved to my close family. I researched the name and every time I found a famous person who may have had that name for their child I would talk about it to my SIL.

Well, she gets pregnant and then the says they are choosing between two names (one being the name I loved) She ended up naming her son the same name I gushed over for weeks. I was totally shocked because she never even mentioned the name was picked until I get to the baby shower and the name is on a poster.

So...I'm keeping names to myself for this reason. 

Oh, I forgot about this reason, too.. I don't want anyone to steal my name!! 

JustAhopin

We kept the name a secret til he was born. We figured since we knew what the gender was, to keep the name a secret. Just to give it add a little more excitement to the day (not that there wasn't excitement).

It did drive me NUTS that MIL was constantly guessing what the name was. SIL kept both her kids' name a secret until birth, so it's not like this was new.

ObLaDi

We didn't share our ideas while we were still deciding, because we didn't want potentially forceful family opinions swaying our choice.

Once the name was 100% set in stone, we shared with our parents. I was steeling myself for negative responses, but figured I'd rather get any negativity out of the way now rather than having it taint his birth. To my surprise, everyone was positive! And it was really nice to be able to share my excitement about his name.

raefre

We shared but we were already set in the name that we were going to use. Besides, it was on the boring side, followed family tradition; there was no need for family to side-eye it.

However, with if we have a chance to name a little girl, that name will probably not be shared--at least not too much. We've already had too much input for a child not even in the making.

Notwifezilla7

No. 

We chose names that are a bit more uncommon and we knew we'd get some "Are you sure?" or "What about xx instead?"

We didn't share with either DD1 or DD2 and we're not sharing our girl's choice this time around either.

What I love is that since we have two girls with M names we're getting unsolicited advice over which M girl name we should use if we have another. My grandmother just told my mom we should do "Marsha" since her maiden name was Marsh.

No thank you, Mommom.

For the record, no one has suggested the name we're most likely using, which makes me happy  

shannm

I only did with people I knew would give me positive feedback. I didn't want to hear other people's crap or paused reactions.

MrsP7309

No. DH and I have been together for seven years, and in those seven years we have found exactly ONE girl name we agree on. We might only have one boy name too... I'm not sure because DH loved my all time favorite. Anyway, I'm terrified we'll tell people the name, some one will say something, and one of us will get doubts. Thus, no one will know the name until we have a baby.

MelleTX

I shared my names and no one really said much that was negative. I think my family follows the "If you don't have something nice to say..." mantra. A few people did make comments about reversing their middles names (just like this board did), but I stated my reasons why and everyone dropped it. Only once did I have to remind my mother that she had already named her children and now it was my turn.

I will say this though... I was very confient in my choices and I shared that when I shared my names. I think this influenced the response from people.

The worse comment I got was from my SIL who said "you still have time to change your mind" but she's a history buff and wanted me to name the girls after historical relatives.

Then again, I also picked pretty normal names (Audrey and Lydia).