Those that bed share...I need your help!

laurenac

DS just turned 7 months. We co-slept until 4 months with his bassinet and then he joined us in our king size bed. I LOVE bed sharing. It feels so natural and the three of us get excellent sleep.

DH is ready for DS to go into his crib in the nursery. I'm NOT! I think DH is being influenced by others who say all those typical things people who know nothing about bed sharing. Like he will never sleep on his own, he will grow up and be clingy, your marriage will fail.....you get the picture.

Most of the benefits I shared with DH came from online resources (Dr. sears website and some others) and although DH acknowledged the benefits of bed sharing he obviously isn't sold on the idea like I am. Are there any books or resources that I could share with him that may cause him to change his mind? Anything you did in a similar situation work?

Our room is tight on space or I would move his crib in here. The nursery is even smaller or I'd move in there. I really would like all 3 of us in the same room. And I'd like to avoid leaving DH alone as well.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and thank you to all who can offer some advice. 

ncbelle

I'm a huge fan of bedsharing but I also believe that everyone in the family needs to be on board with it.  What about some sort of compromise - maybe baby sleeps the first part of the night in his room (giving you and DH some alone time which may be what he is missing) and then bring baby to sleep with you if he wakes?  It may be that if baby doesn't sleep well in his own room, that will be enough to change DH's mind

laurenac

ncbelle:

I'm a huge fan of bedsharing but I also believe that everyone in the family needs to be on board with it.  What about some sort of compromise - maybe baby sleeps the first part of the night in his room (giving you and DH some alone time which may be what he is missing) and then bring baby to sleep with you if he wakes?  It may be that if baby doesn't sleep well in his own room, that will be enough to change DH's mind

Thank you! That may work. I'm always willing to compromise  

laurenac

ncbelle:

I'm a huge fan of bedsharing but I also believe that everyone in the family needs to be on board with it.  What about some sort of compromise - maybe baby sleeps the first part of the night in his room (giving you and DH some alone time which may be what he is missing) and then bring baby to sleep with you if he wakes?  It may be that if baby doesn't sleep well in his own room, that will be enough to change DH's mind

Thank you! That may work. I'm always willing to compromise  

kcisthebombdotcom

Could you maybe compromise? Say that you don't want it to end now, but reassure him that you don't want a 5 year old in your bed either. I think all the research in the world isn't going to change his mind if he doesn't want to continue, so I would meet him in the middle.

pixieprincss

Sleeping With Your Baby by McKenna is THE books that shows the benefits of cosleeping.

As for what works for your family, ditto PPs on considering a partial-night option. We start DS1 on a floor bed in his own room. One of us lays with him and cuddles until he is out and then inches away. At the first night-waking once we are in bed, DS1 comes in with us. We used to go get him, now he is old enough that he comes in on his own. DH and I are both on-board with extended cosleeping, but this was the solution we worked out when DS1 started to become mobile and we didn't want him in our high bed alone.

callaann27

I agree with the PP. We had to make a compromise because our bed just didn't have enough room for all three. Nash starts the night in his crib and once he fusses around 4am, I bring him into our bed. He was about 5 months old when I started putting him in his crib--I was sad, but he loved sprawling out and rolling around and roaming his crib in his sleep. He is 7 months now and we still do the same routine! 

Angela814

ncbelle:

I'm a huge fan of bedsharing but I also believe that everyone in the family needs to be on board with it.  What about some sort of compromise - maybe baby sleeps the first part of the night in his room (giving you and DH some alone time which may be what he is missing) and then bring baby to sleep with you if he wakes?  It may be that if baby doesn't sleep well in his own room, that will be enough to change DH's mind

This is what we've always done. DH never wakes up to help in the middle of the night. I think he could sleep through a freight train. Since he's not helping, I get to do what's easiest for me, which is to bring DD to our bed. If he wants her back in her crib, he's welcome to rock her back to sleep and put her in her crib.