Dads & Dads-to-be

I need a guy's perspective....BADLY. (TMI potential!!)

I created an AE on here because I'm a regular and I don't care for this one to be out there.

My husband and I have a very active sex life.  He literally receives 6-8 bj's a week.  I'm not on BC (going to try to conceive again soon, so didn't want to go back on anything hormonal), and he hates condoms, so we've been doing oral.  We've always really enjoyed that more anyway.  I get maybe 3 times a week reciprocated back to me, but that's my choosing.  I have to get up for work at 4am, and by the time we get the baby (9.5 months old) down at night, I'm pretty spent.  I love giving him BJ's.  It turns me on, he's happy, win-win.  He's a SAHD, so he doesn't have the 4am wake time I do. (I'm just giving relevant info here).

Well, last Friday, everything was great.  We both got our kicks.  Saturday, we both have a bit too much to drink while baby was spending the night with friends, so sex was kind of a failed attempt...but hey, no big deal.  Sunday night, I accidentally nick him on his c*ck.  Not bad, but we can't finish.  Monday he takes a break too, letting it heal.  Tuesday, I have to go to the doctor for some issues I'd been having.  That night, I resume and give him a BJ.  Then last night, I took my meds, and unexpectedly, they knock my a$$ out.  I fell asleep on the couch at 8:30 and didn't wake up until 4am this morning.  Luckily I woke up, because I hadn't set my alarm and he didn't set one for me.  Then he starts acting all pi$$y with me.  Saying "you just passed out on me last night...thanks."  And just acting kind of cold.  Then he calls me while I'm driving to work telling me what a crappy week it's been, etc.

This has gone ALL through me this morning.  I'm just sitting at work stewing.  I gave him a damn BJ the night we brought our kid home from the hospital!  I did it the whole time I was pregnant, even though I threw up constantly for 7 months.  I mean, since Friday night, he's gotten two complete BJ's and 2 attempted ones. LOL.  Am I wrong in thinking even  that's above average?

He's an awesome dad and he's really amazing to me.  I just don't know how to handle this when I get home, because I'm afraid I'm going to go off on him and tell him what a selfish as$ he's being.  How should I approach this?  He's apologized to me, but I guess I just feel like I need to get it off my chest, because there are going to be times where I can't do it every f*cking night.

Re: I need a guy's perspective....BADLY. (TMI potential!!)

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  • That is a lot of BJs.

    Have you considered pull out and pray at all? It's a terrible method for teenagers, but it's actually not horrible if your goal is just to delay conception, especially if he's the kind of guy that has some control over himself. Especially if you know your cycle.

    He apologized to you, but you guys probably need to have a calm conversation about what's going on for you two lately. It sounds like there may be some other stresses that are affecting how you interact?

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • I still can't get past the half a dozen bj's a week!  The precedent that you have established with this sexual generosity is going to come back and haunt you in the very near future.

    Never, EVER let a man, husband or not, get that big of an ego.  I mean Jesus, there are only 7 days in a week!!!  He must feel like he is the biggest pimp playa ever!!! BJ's on demand.....WOW!!!

    I would remind him that he can pleasure himself anytime that he wants to while you bust your ass being a mother.  And for him to pout like that, when you have been every man's wet dream all this time?  What a clown!!

    I would strongly suggest that you begin to taper that down some in order to regain so sort of control.  I mean, you must have lock jaw at this point!

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  • Seriously!!!! You gotta be kidding me!!!! this is not for real!!! Am i dreaming!?!?

    In all honesty if you were to poll all the guys on this board, I guarantee you that you would be saluted (figuratively and literally).  6 - 8 times a week is like saying you are NBA owner and you have Michael Jordan (1992 version), Lebron James, and Kobe Bryant on your roster...you can't lose with that.  If your idiot of husband can't realize and appreciate how better a situation than 99% of guys, he needs a rude awakening and be brought down to earth.  Kick him off his high horse, and go on strike.

     Then he would realize what an dumba$$ he is being!  WOW!!!! If only my wife could sign up for your class.  I would pay for that!!!! LOL

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • imageSookieFrackhouse68:
    imagepolooo26:

    It's all about expectations. If he was getting it 12 times a week and it went to 8 he might be upset. or if it went from 3 to 1 he would be upset. This guy likes his consistency and it got messed up. He had a low moment and then he apologized. If that's all it was and everything seems normal when you get home then continue on as normal and sweep this under the rug. It seems like you both benefit from this. Now if he acts this way again then you might need to have a talk with him and say that things are just going to come up but he should still consider himself lucky. Most guys aren't this lucky.

    And for the guys telling you to taper it down. They're just jealous. Let them be jealous.

    The bolded is the understatement of the century.

    I don't think the guys are jealous. They're just gobsmacked that this man would have the nerve to complain about one off week when what he is getting on the reg is damn good. Not even a week goes by, and this dude is already complaining. He sounds spoiled and could benefit from a reality check and possibly a vase thrown at his face.

    PLUS ONE!!!!!!

    Jealousy is the furthest thing form my mind when I read this post.  Even when I was a spraying 16 year old I never once needed that kind of physical attention.  And I was in a serious, sex filled, do it in the rafters relationship from 16-23 in my horny prime.

    Complaining about lack of sex, in this situation, is just lame, in so many ways.....

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  • In my house, that would mean no bjs for a month. ;)
  • OP, you fracked up. Rule #1 of all things in life is to under promise and over deliver. You've created a monster. He takes it all for granted now.

    In all seriousness though, I think you should lay into him a bit. You're not just some BJ robot there to pleasure him whenever he wants it. It didn't even occur to your husband that maybe you needed that sleep or to maybe let you rest after you birthed his child. It's just really messed up.

    Personally, I would tell him about himself in an effort to help him manage his expectations moving forward.

    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie First Birthday tickers image
  • I wanna know if this cat got his way and the scheduled bj's have started up again.  Where is this mystery poster???

    I showed my wife this thread last night.  She said it was all about power for him, and that bj's should be earned through good behavior.

    So I don't know what I have been doing wrong the last few weeks...

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  • I've been monitoring this post from my real account.  Sorry, I should've logged back in and responded with this account.

    I can sit here and defend my husband and everyone is going to think I'm some whipped woman. But here goes.  It's not about power with my husband.  He is the most kind, gentle man ever.  He has literally changed 80% of the diapers, cleaned 100% of the bottles, done 75% of the laundry for our child in the past 10 months.  While I was pregnant, he gave me back and foot rubs every night.  He has never ONCE demeaned me in any way, not even in anger.  Like a PP said, I think it was a weak moment for him.  When I got home yesterday, he didn't even realize there was anything wrong.  I told him that I though he was mad at me and he looked bewildered and said "what on earth would I have to be mad about?"

    You guys can sit and criticize our frequency of sex, but it works for us.  It's kept us close through a lot of sh*t that we've been through.  It's at minimum 15 minutes a day that we can devote to each other to share something that we only share with each other.  We show each other that we love each other all the time.  But keeping that physical spark is incredibly important to us.  And he's in his early 40's, I'm in my mid 30's, so we're not horny teenagers.  We just appreciate each other physically and it keeps us happy.

    I also think that if you're having to "earn bj's for good behavior", then that's f*cking pathetic.  It shouldn't be a reward...it should be something that she wants to do because it makes you (and her) happy.  Wow, that's a terrible thing to say.  But if bj's were "earned" in my house, he'd get them at least 3 times a day.

    And if some of you ladies knew who I really am on here, you'd know I'm not someone who just gets walked all over because you all know me.

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  • imageMYAE726:

    I've been monitoring this post from my real account.  Sorry, I should've logged back in and responded with this account.

    I can sit here and defend my husband and everyone is going to think I'm some whipped woman. But here goes.  It's not about power with my husband.  He is the most kind, gentle man ever.  He has literally changed 80% of the diapers, cleaned 100% of the bottles, done 75% of the laundry for our child in the past 10 months.  While I was pregnant, he gave me back and foot rubs every night.  He has never ONCE demeaned me in any way, not even in anger.  Like a PP said, I think it was a weak moment for him.  When I got home yesterday, he didn't even realize there was anything wrong.  I told him that I though he was mad at me and he looked bewildered and said "what on earth would I have to be mad about?"

    You guys can sit and criticize our frequency of sex, but it works for us.  It's kept us close through a lot of sh*t that we've been through.  It's at minimum 15 minutes a day that we can devote to each other to share something that we only share with each other.  We show each other that we love each other all the time.  But keeping that physical spark is incredibly important to us.  And he's in his early 40's, I'm in my mid 30's, so we're not horny teenagers.  We just appreciate each other physically and it keeps us happy.

    I also think that if you're having to "earn bj's for good behavior", then that's f*cking pathetic.  It shouldn't be a reward...it should be something that she wants to do because it makes you (and her) happy.  Wow, that's a terrible thing to say.  But if bj's were "earned" in my house, he'd get them at least 3 times a day.

    And if some of you ladies knew who I really am on here, you'd know I'm not someone who just gets walked all over because you all know me.

    God.....HE MUST BE THE MOST AWESOME MAN EVER!!!!  Hell I want to blow him now just so I can feel how you feel.

    One question.....why come on here b**ching and moaning, and then when you don't hear what you want to hear, you attack us instead?  My wife gives wonderful, juicy bj's, and you know what, I can still survive a 24 hour period without getting another one....no big deal.  It is called growing up and not being a 16 year old teen  anymore.  Most men do experience this transformation.  I am sorry your man has not, yet.  I am certain your jaw could use the break, and perhaps your throat, if you do it through release.

    Good luck with your great husband who deserves all this sexual attention because he changes diapers and all that other s**t.  You two are GREAT for each other!  And if all these ladies around here know how stand up you are and don't let your man walk all over you, why the different profile on here?  Your man is the best man in the world,,,,stand up and be proud of that and represent, gurl!!

    I personally think you are full of it, and I would imagine you are no older than 24.

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  • imagepolooo26:

    Now I'm wondering if your story is made up or not. I try to take the person's side who doesn't get to represent themselves. Sometimes it sounds ridiculous and sometimes it doesn't. Glad it's worked out for you though

    @Snoockie - I think she means all the people saying that she should tone it down because his expectations are too high. It came off as critical, hence her comment. And all I can think is you guys are trying to *** block him. What's up with that anyway? The guy has a good thing going and you're trying to mess it up for him. And it sounds like she's got a good thing going too.

     

    c**kblocking....seriously???

    First off, I stopped doing that at @ age 20.

    Secondly, SHE came on here with her business.  I could care less if this guy is getting a bj a day or not.  Apparently it is not that good of a thing for her, to bring it up here.

    c**kblocking.....that is funny that you went there.

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  • imagepolooo26:
    imageladyjenna13:
    imageMYAE726:

    I've been monitoring this post from my real account.  Sorry, I should've logged back in and responded with this account.

    I can sit here and defend my husband and everyone is going to think I'm some whipped woman. But here goes.  It's not about power with my husband.  He is the most kind, gentle man ever.  He has literally changed 80% of the diapers, cleaned 100% of the bottles, done 75% of the laundry for our child in the past 10 months.  While I was pregnant, he gave me back and foot rubs every night.  He has never ONCE demeaned me in any way, not even in anger.  Like a PP said, I think it was a weak moment for him.  When I got home yesterday, he didn't even realize there was anything wrong.  I told him that I though he was mad at me and he looked bewildered and said "what on earth would I have to be mad about?"

    You guys can sit and criticize our frequency of sex, but it works for us.  It's kept us close through a lot of sh*t that we've been through.  It's at minimum 15 minutes a day that we can devote to each other to share something that we only share with each other.  We show each other that we love each other all the time.  But keeping that physical spark is incredibly important to us.  And he's in his early 40's, I'm in my mid 30's, so we're not horny teenagers.  We just appreciate each other physically and it keeps us happy.

    I also think that if you're having to "earn bj's for good behavior", then that's f*cking pathetic.  It shouldn't be a reward...it should be something that she wants to do because it makes you (and her) happy.  Wow, that's a terrible thing to say.  But if bj's were "earned" in my house, he'd get them at least 3 times a day.

    And if some of you ladies knew who I really am on here, you'd know I'm not someone who just gets walked all over because you all know me.

    God.....HE MUST BE THE MOST AWESOME MAN EVER!!!!  Hell I want to blow him now just so I can feel how you feel.

    One question.....why come on here b**ching and moaning, and then when you don't hear what you want to hear, you attack us instead?  My wife gives wonderful, juicy bj's, and you know what, I can still survive a 24 hour period without getting another one....no big deal.  It is called growing up and not being a 16 year old teen  anymore.  Most men do experience this transformation.  I am sorry your man has not, yet.  I am certain your jaw could use the break, and perhaps your throat, if you do it through release.

    Good luck with your great husband who deserves all this sexual attention because he changes diapers and all that other s**t.  You two are GREAT for each other!  And if all these ladies around here know how stand up you are and don't let your man walk all over you, why the different profile on here?  Your man is the best man in the world,,,,stand up and be proud of that and represent, gurl!!

    I personally think you are full of it, and I would imagine you are no older than 24.

    Dude, did she hit a nerve with you or something? That's a bit much. She likes her husband. There's nothing wrong with that.

    Wow. You guys took this and ran with it...Classic Bump. Cool

    Yeah, I had a vulnerable moment yesterday because I thought he was all pi$$y with me.  He apologized, as I indicated in my original post, but I was still feeling miffed.  He thought it was over, so when I got home and I thought he was upset, THAT is why he was bewildered.  It was a non-issue to him.  A dog had the runs all over the carpet, the baby is teething, and we'd had an off week sexually.  And it was 4:30am.  I rashly came on here to get some perspective, but I didn't need it. My bad. 

    As far as me coming back with "my guns blazing", I think that's a bit of an exaggeration, but if that's how you saw it, then that's cool.

    The responses were basically "you're doing it too much" or "it should only be given out for good behavior."  I disagree vehemently with both of these statements.  First, we do it as much as we want because it makes us happy.  Second, I don't dole out favors for good behavior as though my 41 year old husband is a child who needs to eat all of his vegetables.

    He is a great guy, and yeah, I'll brag about him because he deserves it.  I shouldn't have made the original post I suppose.  I was hormonal and impestuous, but I'm not going to DD because that sh!t is lame.

    And yes, I always do it through "release".  I don't know what effect that would have on my throat though.  Are you under the impression that semen has a particularly high acidity that would irritate my throat for some reason?  And my jaw is just fine.  He had some TMJ issues a few years ago, but my mandible is doing just fine.

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  • imageSookieFrackhouse68:

    I love a happy ending.

    ::rimshot::

    You like anal too?

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  • Maybe something else is bothering him??? Men often divert attention away from the REAL issue to a perceived issue. Instead of getting so upset, try to back up and realize something else may be bothering him. Talk to him and tell him you were hurt by his attitude over the issue and you were wondering if something else has been on his mind. Hopefully he will open up to you and you can get things straightened out.

    On another note... my DH would never survive on sex 2-3 times a week! Sure a BJ feels great to a guy, but sex is the renewal of your marriage vows and the physical-spiritual connection during sex has always been way more amazing for my DH. I highly encourage you and your husband to look into learning the art of natural family planning, since you are wanting to postpone pregnancy awhile longer. It has definitely made an impact on the way my husband treats me and we both have had to put an equal effort into gaining self-control, being selfless, and practicing sacrificial love. It could change your marriage in ways you can't fathom!

  • imagepolooo26:
    imageladyjenna13:
    imageMYAE726:

    I've been monitoring this post from my real account.  Sorry, I should've logged back in and responded with this account.

    I can sit here and defend my husband and everyone is going to think I'm some whipped woman. But here goes.  It's not about power with my husband.  He is the most kind, gentle man ever.  He has literally changed 80% of the diapers, cleaned 100% of the bottles, done 75% of the laundry for our child in the past 10 months.  While I was pregnant, he gave me back and foot rubs every night.  He has never ONCE demeaned me in any way, not even in anger.  Like a PP said, I think it was a weak moment for him.  When I got home yesterday, he didn't even realize there was anything wrong.  I told him that I though he was mad at me and he looked bewildered and said "what on earth would I have to be mad about?"

    You guys can sit and criticize our frequency of sex, but it works for us.  It's kept us close through a lot of sh*t that we've been through.  It's at minimum 15 minutes a day that we can devote to each other to share something that we only share with each other.  We show each other that we love each other all the time.  But keeping that physical spark is incredibly important to us.  And he's in his early 40's, I'm in my mid 30's, so we're not horny teenagers.  We just appreciate each other physically and it keeps us happy.

    I also think that if you're having to "earn bj's for good behavior", then that's f*cking pathetic.  It shouldn't be a reward...it should be something that she wants to do because it makes you (and her) happy.  Wow, that's a terrible thing to say.  But if bj's were "earned" in my house, he'd get them at least 3 times a day.

    And if some of you ladies knew who I really am on here, you'd know I'm not someone who just gets walked all over because you all know me.

    God.....HE MUST BE THE MOST AWESOME MAN EVER!!!!  Hell I want to blow him now just so I can feel how you feel.

    One question.....why come on here b**ching and moaning, and then when you don't hear what you want to hear, you attack us instead?  My wife gives wonderful, juicy bj's, and you know what, I can still survive a 24 hour period without getting another one....no big deal.  It is called growing up and not being a 16 year old teen  anymore.  Most men do experience this transformation.  I am sorry your man has not, yet.  I am certain your jaw could use the break, and perhaps your throat, if you do it through release.

    Good luck with your great husband who deserves all this sexual attention because he changes diapers and all that other s**t.  You two are GREAT for each other!  And if all these ladies around here know how stand up you are and don't let your man walk all over you, why the different profile on here?  Your man is the best man in the world,,,,stand up and be proud of that and represent, gurl!!

    I personally think you are full of it, and I would imagine you are no older than 24.

    Dude, did she hit a nerve with you or something? That's a bit much. She likes her husband. There's nothing wrong with that.

    My wife adores me as well dude, no nerve hit.  Of course, she is not always going down on me like that because we have other interests, like work, and sleep....plus life.

    I am a middle aged man who still LOVES sex, be it oral or intercourse.  And the last time I acted that crazy about getting some was many, many years ago.  For her to come on her like that, with that information....one of the biggest attention getting moves I have seen in a long time around here.  Nothing about how they talk to each other on a deep spiritual level or other moments outside of her downing his johnson, no, nothing like that.  Just sex.

    My marriage is strong because of our intimacy, both in and out of the bedroom.  I do not need to be re-assured through sexual acts.  She said her guy was POUTING OVER MISSING A BLOWJOB.  That's F'ed up!! What happens when the bj's stop?  And they will at some point.  What do they have then?

    Other than that, everything is cool.  She has admitted that she may have posted without taking her emotions at that moment into consideration, and I got to crack on someone about their oral sex habits.  Win-Win!

     

    image

  • No disrespect but, is this post for real! 
  • imageLebrowndog:
    No disrespect but, is this post for real! 

    For all we know it was real....

    image

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