Need some realistic understanding....

tashadee75

As I read through so many posts about ladies trying to conceive and finally getting a BFP or just the sheer excitement of being pregnant in general, I wonder if my feelings are weird. My husband and I have been together for 16 years and for most of the marriage I have been on the pill for period regulation. My husband and I became so used to just me and him that we actually never really intended to have any kids. We were more of the "well if it happens that's great, but if it doesn't were still good". But after deciding to change our eating and excercising habits we both lost weight and improved our health. Soon my period was very regulated without the pill. But I got a little cocky about my age and the chances of pregnancy being reduced and the fact that he and I had "taken chances" in the past and never got pregnant so I really wasn't worried about contraception.(yeah...I don't know what I was thinking.)  But what do you know....I got pregnant in June to EVERYBODY in my family's surprise.(They had given up on asking us). But I gave that intro to say this...now that we've gotten over the shock and the twilight zone moment...planned or not....I'm ready to be happy and excited...but the nausea, vomiting, constipation and severe bloat at 9 weeks have me so miserable I haven't had the opportunity to be excited and I feel guilty about it...is there anybody out there too miserable to experience the "real happy" yet.

Haribo1

I completely understand how you feel.  For the longest time, DH and I thought we would never have children, and we were perfectly happy with the two of us and and our two four legged boys.  Now here we are, on to #2!  

I was really sick and nauseated the first trimester of my first pregnancy.  I couldn't enjoy being pregnant and was completely miserable.  However, things got much better in my second trimester, and I was able to appreciate that time in my life.  It got difficult again the third trimester though.  I would say that I am someone who does not enjoy being pregnant, but the end result is wonderful so it is all worth it.  Hang in there! 

mama2many

I'm having #6, 7th pregnancy, and as much as I love my kids, I do not enjoy being pregnant. And, with the business of the rest of my household, I honestly don't really get excited to be pregnant - I don't have the time to "attend" to it the way I could the 1st & 2nd times (and, I had YEARS of infertility prior to both of the first two). I think ANY way that you feel about being pregnant, is probably within the realm of normal. I bet that once you get into second tri & you can feel the baby moving around, and you start to look pregnant, you'll get much more excited to get the baby - even if you never get excited about being pregnant.

tashadee75

OMG! Thanks ladies! I am soooo glad somebody responded....somebody who completely understands because I was starting to feel a little...well a lot... guilty. I mean my family and friends are super excited (I think partly because they can't believe it). But I was starting to feel that everybody around me was more excited about it than me and I was feeling really guilty about that. My close co-workers that are around me on a daily basis know my discomfort and my misery at the moment but they are just as excited. I feel weird that everyday they see me and want to talk about the pregnancy I have this total look of discomfort on my face that I can't seem to shake. Not to mention the surge in hormones have given me tiny pimples that I haven't had since I was 13! LOL! So when I see excitement in their eyes I find myself really trying to get there but can't and I feel bad about it. But on a better note....besides my confirmation visit, my first "real" doctor's appointment is in two weeks. I will have my ultrasound and get to hear the heart beat. DH and I are really excited about that. A couple weeks after that, hopefully the sickness will subside and maybe I can enjoy the rest of my first pregnancy. I really do want to experience the "joys" at some point. Thank you so much for responding with your real and true feelings!

JennyP1

I can totally relate this time around. My first pregnancy was very exciting because I felt great and things went really smoothly. I'm now pregnant with #2 and from about 2 weeks after getting my BFP I felt horribly sick. I started to question why we even decided to have a second. I was not happy about it and didn't get excited until I started feeling better and started feeling the little peanut thumping me from the inside these last few weeks. I also had great skin with #1 and am having a whole acne explosion with #2. Thankfully the 2nd tri brings much needed relief from the morning sickness, brings more energy, and the acne is starting to slowly clear.

I wish you a H&H 9 months and hang in there, when you see that heartbeat on the screen it all starts to feel more real and you will get to the "excited" stage very soon! ((Hugs))

myazrprt

it is completely normal to not be enjoying pregnancy right now. i didn't start to enjoy this pregnancy until the first trimester blues disappeared. pretty soon you will enjoy until the third trimester rolls around and all you want is to meet your little one. good luck, and i hope all the awful symptoms go away soon!

tashadee75

OMG! Jenny...with the surge of hormones I have the acne as well. Tiny little bumps on my face that I haven't had since I was 12 or 13. A friend of mine said it should clear up around the second trimester. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'm so glad to see these responses. Because I really feel like I do have the blues right now. With everyone around me excited for me I'd love to take part in that excitement.

Country Girl in the City

I really wanted to be pregnant and spent a lot of money to get here.  I am trying to enjoy my pregnancy but I am really sick.  I do feel guilty about not being more happy.  I am told that everything will be better in the second trimester.  One thing that I did do was buy lots of maternity clothes.  Some will say that it is too early.  Those people are stupid.  I feel so much better in clothes that don't squeeze my bloat and new clothes make me happy.  Good luck to you!

solarflare

Don't worry - your feelings are completely normal. When I first became pregnant I was elated and shocked, and then the exhaustion, hunger and extreme queasiness hit. I was on the couch in pajamas most of the time. I couldn't do anything besides my work. I even took a nap in a Walgreen's parking lot once - I was that desperate for some naptime.  I felt like a fragment of a normal self. I had no idea this was going to happen. I thought pregnancy would be filled with glowy happy moments (the media really pulled the wool over my eyes). 

Now I am approaching Week 13 and am JUST starting to feel like I can do a few things again - go to lunch with a friend, see a movie, go out to dinner, shop for maternity clothes.  All of these things make me feel "normal," and I am thrilled to watch the babies progressions on the ultrasounds. I am so, so happy on those days. It's absolutely amazing. 

So, hang in there, and know that it will eventually get better! But pregnancy is hard for some, and that's okay to acknowledge as well. 

Sherry414

Hi! I am an semi old timer Chickensfive....forgot my password. yikes! Anyway, I just wanted to say that I did not like being pregnant at all. Granted, I had triplets and didn't have bad morning sickness considering I had triple the hormones raging through me. but I hated that 'don't feel good' feeling, my back hurt so bad I had to get an excuse from my Dr to take my leave from work earlier than planned. Really I just wanted to feel good again. I am so glad that I don't have to do it again. Also, when he babies kicked I did not think it was 'the best feeling in the world' it was a kick! Yeah it was cool that human beings are growing inside me but not the best feeling in world to me like everyone else. So don't worry about not enjoying pregnancy its not all its cracked up to be. Maybe I am just missing something. BTW, congratulations!

footnotegirl

Congratulations! DH and I were much the same, married for 10 years without wanting/trying to get pregnant to the point where our families had come to believe we weren't ever going to and even the officiant from our wedding, when we saw him at another wedding, commented on how we had 'chosen not to have kids'. Once we decided to stop trying not to, we knew that if we didn't get pregnant, we weren't going to go to any measures to try harder (no fertility treatments, no adoption, etc).

I had a very easy pregnancy for the first 6 months (mostly because I didn't know I was pregnant) but I will say this. That 'real happy'? If you're at all sane, it comes with a side helping of 'realistic about a major life change'. I think you'll be honestly more actually happy than you might otherwise be, having your emotions tempered with a downside, if that makes any sense. We love our daughter beyond reason, she is the second best thing that ever happened to either of us (first best was becoming 'us'!), but we also have a really keen awareness of the fact that along with the wonderful positive things about having her, there are negative aspects too.

AmyM72

You sound so much like me! Have been married for 17 years and I really didn't think it would happen either. I am still kind of thinking "What have we done?"

I mostly just still feel stunned, and nervous, hoping the excited and happy will come along soon