bfp and a little freaked out

dklb08

I just got my bfp yesterday. I did tell dh I was open to a second but I didn't think it would happen this fast. I got ku on our 2nd cycle, ds1 took nine. Also, I am still pumpng. Though I am happy to be expanding our family, I am freaking out. Ds1 will only be 19 months old (I know I some of you will have smaller gaps). He is the sweetest, happiest and BUSIEST guy ever. I am feeling guilty for wishing there was just a little more time for the 3 of us. silly, right? I planned this and I truly am excited for this baby. Just want to be good to my first baby too thanks for letting me rant.

Kaiterz

Congratulations!  It's a lot to take in; you'll become more comfortable with the idea as time goes on.  I know for us the transition (especially for dd) was so natural that it was hard to remember a life w/o ds. 

Jenn0810

Our 2nd LO was unplanned. They will be 18 months apart and I freaked out a little at first too. I always joked with Dh that I wanted another baby but knew financially we needed more time. Also, having the baby in the summer ideal for me since I'm a teacher. This one is due in January... Such is life though.. You can't always plan everything and we are getting excited. This week we find out boy/girl, which will be fun. I know what you mean about having more time with your first LO. Once I found out, I kept having a feeling that by having another baby it meant that I didn't think DD was good enough or that we were replacing her. Very silly, I know. but I also know that she will never remember life before her little brother/sister and hopefully they will love each other very much. My cousin purposely had 3under3. She LOVES it. (She also works as a midwife so I think she may be super woman. lol) As I see my belly growing I get more and more excited, like I was with DD. Good luck to you!

downtown80

Like you, mine will also be 19 months apart. It took us a long time to get pregnant with number one, that were not expecting it to happen so easily with number two.  I was also breast feeding/pumping when I found out that's was pregnant.  My supply dropped, but I did manage to make it until DD was 1.  

I have gone through a whole range of emotions with this pregnancy.  From shock, to nervousness, to feeling like I am going to let down my daughter, to finally feeling excited and happy.  At times I felt guilty because I wasn't as over-the-moon as I was last time.  It just took a little longer for that emotion to set in, I think.

I am not worried about introducing another baby into the family, but at times I wonder if I know what I'm getting myself into! I have to keep thinking that although DD is 13 months now, she will be 19 months when the baby is born.  She has changed a lot in the last 6 months, and I am sure that the next 6 months will be the same.  She will probably be at an age where she will want to be Mommy's helper.  (at least that's what i am telling myself!)  hang in there!

dale5689

I have to tell you what you are feeling is completely normal and understandable and now that I have an 8 month old and I'm out of that situation I see that SO MANY other people felt the way I did!!!!!!!  I too felt the EXACT same way.  I wanted #2 right away (got pregnant on our first try when DD was 12 months) because of my age (now 42).  I was shocked it happened on our first try although it happened on the first try with #1 (but that's why I thought it wouldn't the 2nd time!!).  Anyway I was surprised and was hoping it'd happen a few months later but wasn't up to me!!  So initially I was happy but mostly surprised and completely freaked out!!  Then I felt guilty; guilty for my daughter who would no longer have me all to herself, resentful that I'd have to share myself (even though I wanted #2), anxious because how was I going to do this? and then guilty because I didn't feel the same about the pregnancy that I did the 1st time.  Just as the PP said, my DD was 12 months at the time but I wasn't thinking she'd be 21 months at the time of the birth.  But I didn't think she'd be that much different but was I wrong!!  She is now almost 2 1/2 and I have to say that the jump from 18mos to 21 is big, then from 21 to 24 is and each month thereafter she has changed so much and matured and is no longer a baby but a very big little girl!!  I was afraid 21 months was going to be a hair too close but it has been AMAZING!!!!!  My toddler adores and is wonderful with the baby and the baby loves her big sister.  She laughs for no other like she does for her big sister!!  It was way easier to manage than I ever anticipated and it keeps getting easier. 

I didn't enjoy the pregnancy as much because of all the stress and anxiety and my biggest fear was how can I love another baby as much as #1?  Many times I forgot I was pregnant just because I was so busy with my daughter.  I had also never left her overnight, ever so that was another area of stress.  When it came time for the baby to arrive all those fears and stress and anxiety melted away in a moment and when I saw that baby I fell instantly in love and it still blows me away how much love I feel.  It is the most beautiful and special thing in the world.  Unfortunately, I am plagued by guilt most days that I felt all of that during my pregnancy and didn't enjoy it the way I should've.  Pregnancy is such a miracle and since it was my last   I can't even make up for it the next time. 

 So, what you're feeling is normal.  19 months apart is not so bad and you will find a "new normal" when the time comes.  If you have family close by and they can help you out, jump on it.   ENJOY your pregnancy and ENJOY the most beautiful thing that is going to happen you and your family. 

laurendiane104

Ladies, 

 Thank you all so much for the encouragement. Today, we found out we are expecting #2 and my daughter just turned 9 months old. Honestly, I cried at first because I felt so overwhelmed about figuring everything out (like paying for daycare and insurance for two!) but then was elated. I just graduated from graduate school in May and am working on my license as a counselor, and we are renting an apt now and hopefully planning to buy a house soon. I told my husband today that I was planning on having #2 when we were in our new house and when I was at the end of my licensure process...but like it was said above, we trust that it isn't up to us. I know this is so silly, but I am almost afraid of the feedback people will give me. We had another friend who got pregnant when her son was 6 mo, and lots of people said "weren't you just pregnant?" I thought that was so offensive, but I know I need to get over that. It is good to hear that many of you had the same experience that I did today.

dklb08

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

You ladies are amazing. these posts are exactly what i needed. I know it will be great! my sister and i are 15 months apart and i love it. I know in the long run i will be really excited to have them close together. I just love my son so much i love his curious nature and want to explore it all with him. i know my love will grow, i am just getting used to the idea. though i am a little freaked out, i want to make sure this baby knows it is already loved and very much wanted.

NewMoM2Be10

my 1st DS is 22 months.. My second DS is 7 months.. and im 13 weeks pregnant... i was freaked out ! buuut as loong as my DH are supporting out kiddos i didnt care what the reactions were.. its my uterus.. my kids.. my life.. and if i choose to have them close in age.. ITS OUR decision... my MIL was like omg they are so little and so close together.. and i said dont judge me you have nine.. your 6th was 14 months when you had TRIPLETS! BTW my DH is one of them ... and that was enough of an explanation for ANYONE!.. so BEST OF LUCK and ENJOY your babies.. cause then they grow up and dont want hugs and kisses and cuddles