So pi$$ed. Vent

candyisdaves

So I don't often post here but I need to get it all out some where before I start stabbing people (mostly my sister).

I have a sister that is 10 years younger than me who has been a waste most of her adult life.  She lives off my parents and has never had a real job or supported herself.  She is bipolar but refuses  to take her medication. There is a whole back story that is way to long to go in to. My parents moved to Florida 4 years ago and built her a small apartment  on the back side  of my Grandparents home (they have passed away).  The house is owned by my uncle with the intent of selling it when the market turns.   

She got arrested a few weeks ago. The police kicked in 3 doors on the house executing a search  warrant She told my mom that it was for possessing weed. Well the story she told my mom did not add up so I looked up the police report.  Come to find out she was charged with possessing heroin with intent to sell and about 5 other charges. three of which are felonies.   She goes to trial tomorrow. And more than likely going to prison when everything is over. 

My poor mom, She drove home this weekend to be here for the trail.  She was over yesterday and kept saying how she doesn't think she should go to jail over some weed.  I finely had enough and made my mom sit down and read the report.  I could not let her go into the courtroom thinking this was over some pot and find out the truth there.  My mom just sat here and bawled like a baby.  I felt bad.  

My cousin just called me and went off on me telling me that I should not have put the stress on my mom by telling her the truth, and that I am just a selfish person who just wants my sis to look bad.  But if it were my child I would want to know before the judge told me wouldn't you.  Do you think I did the right thing?  

 

 

jess60

Finding out in public, in a courtroom full of strangers would have been much, much worse.  I think you did the right thing.

Mrs.adambabycakes

First off, I am sorry about what is happening to you and your family. Second, it shouldn't be up to your cousin to tell you what you should or shouldn't say to your own mother. Your mother should know the truth when it comes to her children if she wants to help them.

MesmrEwe

You ABSO-FREAK'N-LUTELY did the right thing!!!!  Let them be in denial and be enablers to an addict if they want, but you aren't going to be and you aren't going to let YOUR MOM go in there not knowing that her child is an addict and needs help!  No parent wants to know their child is doing something illegal, but which would you be more mad about, your child telling you a lie or your other child telling you their sibling lied to you and the truth of what is going on. 

It's as I tell my daughter "You might be in trouble if you tell me you did something wrong, but you'll be in a heck of a lot MORE trouble if I find out you lied about something!!!"

 

candyisdaves

Mrs.adambabycakes:

First off, I am sorry about what is happening to you and your family. Second, it shouldn't be up to your cousin to tell you what you should or shouldn't say to your own mother. Your mother should know the truth when it comes to her children if she wants to help them.

 

My cousin is the cousin I am closest to.  She normally has a pretty level head and very reasonable that is why I am second guessing myself.    

littlemermaid

Your cousin is crazy, so it would have been less stressful for your mother to find out the truth in court instead of from you in private.  Ok, that's a new one.    You definitely did the right thing.  Your parents need to know the truth about their daughter.  They also need to learn that them enabling her is not helping her at all.

synchrosally

jess60:

Finding out in public, in a courtroom full of strangers would have been much, much worse.  I think you did the right thing.

This. 

[Deleted User]

Yeah, you did the right thing.  It's a very intense situation that you're in, so best of luck to you & your family. 

MoonlitPlumeria

synchrosally:

jess60:

Finding out in public, in a courtroom full of strangers would have been much, much worse.  I think you did the right thing.

This. 

+1 

Mrs.adambabycakes

candyisdaves:

Mrs.adambabycakes:

First off, I am sorry about what is happening to you and your family. Second, it shouldn't be up to your cousin to tell you what you should or shouldn't say to your own mother. Your mother should know the truth when it comes to her children if she wants to help them.

 

My cousin is the cousin I am closest to.  She normally has a pretty level head and very reasonable that is why I am second guessing myself.    

You shouldn't second guess yourself in this case. It is extremely important that your mom know the truth, even if it hurts.   

Disneygeek77

Please don't second guess yourself.  It sounds like your cousin is upset too and unfortunately you became her scapegoat and focus of her anger.  That anger should be directed at your sister, not you.  You did the kindest thing by preparing your mother ahead of time instead of her learning when she was at the trial. 

jnjmommy0609

Of course you did the right thing. How will your sister ever get help if there isn't anyone who knows the truth? Your cousin had absolutely no right doing that.

ougrad1

You did the right thing.  Maybe prison will be the right place for her and then, you guys can ask for a half way house after to help her kick the drug problem.

Hopefully she'll decide to start taking her meds for the bipolar.  Those are key.  GL hon...you did the right thing.

 

ougrad1

Inkogneetoh:

Oh and your mother finding out in the court room instead would have been the better alternative!?  I think you did the best thing you could do given the situation.  Best of luck, and I hope this is a wake up call for your sister to get some help.  And maybe for your parents to cut her off until she gets her stuff together.

I don't know may parents that would cut off a child with bipolar disorder that won't take her meds.  It would take an awful lot for her to pull herself out and still be alive-sadly. 

candyisdaves

ougrad1:

I don't know may parents that would cut off a child with bipolar disorder that won't take her meds.  It would take an awful lot for her to pull herself out and still be alive-sadly. 

Thats the hard thing.  I feel bad for my mom.  She just doesn't know what to do. no one wants to see her starve or worse. We just want her to get better.

ShellShockedMama

A) it's public record. You just advised your mother of it. 

it's your sisters fault for being involved in drugs and lying about it

C) your mom would've figured it out when they read the charges In court.

And while I don't completely think your motives were altruistic, I wouldve done the same.  

ougrad1

candyisdaves:

ougrad1:

I don't know may parents that would cut off a child with bipolar disorder that won't take her meds.  It would take an awful lot for her to pull herself out and still be alive-sadly. 

Thats the hard thing.  I feel bad for my mom.  She just doesn't know what to do. no one wants to see her starve or worse. We just want her to get better.

My little brother has bipolar and it was awful in his early twenties.  He was on steroids had to hit rock bottom.  My parents did everything they knew to do.  He just turned thirty and just finished his undergrad degree and doing really well.  He still is living with my parents but, everyone is so pleased at his progress.

Don't be to hard on your mom.  She is coping the best way she knows how.  I think prison may be a saving grace for your sister.  She'll be safe there (not getting into trouble) and maybe, just maybe, she'll start taking her meds and realize how much better she feels on them.  GL, I know it's hard and frustrating. 

cvick612

You did the right thing. Where I live they have a paper that comes out every Tuesday that shows who got arrested the previous week. It would have had her name, picture, and what she was charged for in it. So she could have seen it there along with everyone else in that county.

ThePolishHammer

mbenit4:

jess60:

Finding out in public, in a courtroom full of strangers would have been much, much worse.  I think you did the right thing.

I think you did the right thing. It is public record and she should know before going to court.

This!

You did the right thing.  

candyisdaves

cvick612:

You did the right thing. Where I live they have a paper that comes out every Tuesday that shows who got arrested the previous week. It would have had her name, picture, and what she was charged for in it. So she could have seen it there along with everyone else in that county.

We have this same paper its called "busted"  I saw one today and she made the front page  

candyisdaves

ougrad1:

candyisdaves:

ougrad1:

I don't know may parents that would cut off a child with bipolar disorder that won't take her meds.  It would take an awful lot for her to pull herself out and still be alive-sadly. 

Thats the hard thing.  I feel bad for my mom.  She just doesn't know what to do. no one wants to see her starve or worse. We just want her to get better.

My little brother has bipolar and it was awful in his early twenties.  He was on steroids had to hit rock bottom.  My parents did everything they knew to do.  He just turned thirty and just finished his undergrad degree and doing really well.  He still is living with my parents but, everyone is so pleased at his progress.

Don't be to hard on your mom.  She is coping the best way she knows how.  I think prison may be a saving grace for your sister.  She'll be safe there (not getting into trouble) and maybe, just maybe, she'll start taking her meds and realize how much better she feels on them.  GL, I know it's hard and frustrating. 

I am so glad to hear a story about someone who has done good while dealing with bipolar.  I really try not to be so hard on my mom because honestly I dont know what I would do in her shoes.  Its easy to say quit enabling her but its her child and she is sick.  And as sad as it is I hope she does go to prison at least then  my mom  will not worry that she is gonna get the call that my sister is dead....