Married names

andyyougoonie

I'm trying to get my mind off of the CFA thing and all of the bigots on my FB feed...

Which name do you like more, your married name or your maiden name?  Did you keep your maiden name?  Did you drop your maiden name altogether or make it your middle name?  Do you feel like you "own" your married name yet?

I have a friend that told me she was considering asking her boyfriend to take HER last name if they got married!  B/c she's an attorney and her established name is important with clients...plus her father didn't have any sons and her boyfriend (at the time, now fiance) was never close to his father so why should he care about his last name.  I can't wait to hear how that discussion goes. lol

ATMmom324

I am not a fan of my husbands last name.  Everyone pronounces it wrong.  I still go by my maiden name on a lot of things.  I have been married for over 2 years and still haven't changed it on my nursing license.  Because of that I go by my maiden name at work.  My checking account and credit cards are all still in my maiden name.  And health insurance.

andyyougoonie

I took H's last name, but I prefer my maiden name.  I still sometimes forget and say my maiden name as my last name.  So, I do not feel like I "own" it yet.  And we'll be celebrating our 5 year anniversary in October.

My middle name is what I go by so I had no choice but to drop my maiden name, but I would have kept it and made it my mn if I could have.

melandjudd

I dropped my maiden name it was so long and hard to pronouce so I just kept my middle name and took DH's last name.

MandaPanda518

I like both my maiden and married names equally.

I took my husband's last name, and dropped my maiden name. I sometimes wish I had kept it as a second middle name, as my maiden name ends with my sister and I.

I feel like I "own" my married name. It took about six months, but I feel comfortable with it now.

 

hmp1

I was very excited to change my name because my maiden name was always misspelled, even when I spelled it out people didn't get it. I have a little sadness now though because my last name is very common as is my first name. I get pinged (microsoft office communicator) all the time at work from people looking for another associate with my same fn ln. I also have to use my middle name in my work email address.

scoutkate

Neither my married name nor my maiden name are spelled the way they sound, but my married name is the easier of the two.  My maiden name is now my middle. 

ThePolishHammer

I love my maiden name and I kept it.  I may hyphenate later on.

MoonlitPlumeria

I love my married name. Though both my married and maiden names are regularly mispronounced. I dropped my maiden name completely when we got married. My husband, daughter and I all have the same initial for our middle name and I wanted to keep it that way! I do feel a bit bad though. We are the last of the "maiden name" from our family on this continent. Unfortunately my dad had all girls. 

hmp1

There was a girl on TK when I was getting married that said her fiance wanted to take her name. He had his father's ln but hadn't seen or been in contact with his dad or that side of the family since he was a small child. He had zero connection to it and loved her family. I thought it was really sweet.

FordFalcor

I absolutely love my married last name. It's one syllable, which is great and it's also the last name of the main character on a popular TV series, so it's an interesting conversation starter.

I really disliked my maiden name. It is also a boys first name so I was constantly getting called by it...because apparently Jessica is a common last name? smh. It was 3 syllables and looked ugly in cursive too. lol. That sounds really dumb but it mattered to me.

 

theseaword

I prefer my maiden name. I did change my name, although legally the maiden name is in there as a second mn. 

Swainb

My maiden name is my father's last name, so I was happy to get rid of it. It only took a few months to get used to DH's last name and I like it a lot more. 

penguingrrl

I took my husband's name. I don't have a relationship with my father so I wanted to be rid of his name ASAP (in fact, in HS I begged my mom to let me take her last name but she wouldn't let me). I kept my middle name because it's my mom, grandma, great grandma and great great grandma's first names (and now my older daughter's first name) so it's a family name, just not a family last name.

chardonnay24

I had absolutely no desire to change my name, so I didn't. Not only that, but our son has both last names.

We didn't plan it that way, but in the hospital they referred to him as "Baby MyLast" and it stuck. But we also wanted him to have his father's name, so we ended up naming him First Middle MyLast HisLast.

It's super confusing for people, but I like that it made my ILs mad, so it's a win-win.

pinkiemo

People can't pronounce either my maiden or my married so it didn't make that much of a difference to me.  They're both crazy German names. 

The social security woman who I submitted my paperwork to tried to make me feel bad for ditching my maiden name and keeping my middle name.  She told me I was slapping my father in the face.  She was a peach.

FWIW, I love my dad but he's the one who alway told me I should take my husband's name because in his words "it nice for kids when the whole family has the same last name"  I think he might have been bitter because my mom kept her name (which was actually her married name from her first marriage, so yeah)

MrsWindyCity

I much, much, much prefer my maiden name. It's super Greek and very unique and it just goes with my name better. DH's last name sounds awful with my first name. A lot of the same letters.

I hyphenated. I did it because I thought it would be better for when we  had kids, so I could keep my name but also share a name with my future child. It was a huge mistake, seriously. I hate having a hyphenated name, and wish I would have just stuck with my maiden (DH didn't care either way). 

ougrad1

Like my maiden name better but, took my H name.

jenmom2girls

My married name. Lol My maiden name has tits in it, and I got picked on soooo bad for that name. I was so happy when I changed it.

LoveBeingAWife33008

I HATE my married name. I prefer my maiden, which is long gone.

blush64

I didn't change my name so I prefer my last name as it is. I believe it is every woman's choice to change or keep her name. My kids have a hyphenated name and my future kids will as well. (new husband so all the kids will have my last name in common)

EDIT MY mom changed her name when she got married because she was raised to think she didn't have a choice but even after almost 40 years of marriage she  still prefers her maiden name. I love her maiden name so I also wish she would have either kept it or hyphenated it so I could have had it. I like the connection to both sides of the family.

amberpro

I loved my maiden name.  BUT I spent all my time correcting people's pronunciation of the long and hard to pronounce Czech name.  My married name is much simpler.  I can't say I don't enjoy that.  

nosoup4u

andyyougoonie:

I have a friend that told me she was considering asking her boyfriend to take HER last name if they got married!  B/c she's an attorney and her established name is important with clients...plus her father didn't have any sons and her boyfriend (at the time, now fiance) was never close to his father so why should he care about his last name.  I can't wait to hear how that discussion goes. lol

So? If a dude wants his future wife to give up her name, he should be willing to do the same. Welcome to the patriarchy!

I kept my last name. DH's last name is a lot more common. I did offer to hyphenate mine, if he'd hyphenate his, but he declined (which was actually fine with me).

SoDoMojo

My maiden name and married name are very similar (like 2 different letters similar). I like my married name better as it's not common like my maiden name.  

ByeBabyBunting

I like my maiden name better, but I really wanted to have the same last name as DH and the kid - my mom did not take my dad's name and I always felt weird about not having the same name as my mom.

LadyXaverian

I like both names equally, I guess. They're both 1 syllable and easy to pronounce. I think my name flows better with my married last name, though. So, I did take his name, but it wasn't an easy decision. I ended up keeping my maiden name as a second middle name. I keep toying with the idea of dropping one of my middle names, but I can't choose.

I think that this is a personal decision and that there is no "right" or "wrong".

Yules

My maiden name rhymes with "slutsky", so I kept it. I tacked on the new name too, but I won't hyphenate ds name. 

synchrosally

I hated my maiden name. For some reason people always spelled it wrong and I got a lot of comments about it. I took my husband's name and even though people spell and say it wrong, at least there are no rude comments.

SoDoMojo

Yules:

My maiden name rhymes with "slutsky", so I kept it. I tacked on the new name too, but I won't hyphenate ds name. 

I used to have a customer whose last name actually was Slutsky. I giggled about it every time I saw it.  

[Deleted User]

I like my last name much better, so I kept it.  H's last name is quite unattractive, actually, IMO.  It would have been nothing but vanity not to give it to my daughter, though, so I didn't even mention it.  I never had any real feelings about it before I met H other than "if I like his name better than mine, I'll change it."  I didn't, so I didn't change it.

It's not a big deal to me to have the same name as my kid.  My mom never had the same name as me and it was never an issue.

FrickandFrack

I liked both as they are both unique but I dropped my maiden name and kept DH's last name. It's been 6 years and most of the time I feel like I own it but sometimes I slip and say my maiden name. 

ASmallWonder

I've been married for four years (tomorrow!) and at this point, I feel comfortable with my name but I definitely like my maiden name more than my married name.  I did take it as my middle name because I didn't have any real connection to it.  My last name though?  That's my FAMILY'S name, you know?

catycate

I loved my maiden name- it was spunky sounding and worked with my first name. DH's last name is a weird noun- it's really hard to match up a baby name without it sounding like a religious movement or a DJ.

My mom kept her last name, which came in handy when she got divorced, but it sort of sucked having a different last name from her. 

Yules

SoDoMojo:

Yules:

My maiden name rhymes with "slutsky", so I kept it. I tacked on the new name too, but I won't hyphenate ds name. 

I used to have a customer whose last name actually was Slutsky. I giggled about it every time I saw it.  

Oh no! Perhaps it worked for her if she filled in the role at any point in life. 

missmuffin87

I can't wait to get married and change my name. SO's last name is cute, short, and easy to pronounce. My last name is boring and doesn't sound cute at all. DD has SO's last name so I feel left out.

I also hate my last name because it's my dads name and he left us when I was little. I don't have any siblings and my mom remarried so I'm alone with an ugly last name of a guy who bailed on his family.  

Liz4444

It never occured to me not to change my name, all of the women in my family change their name, DH wouldn't have been happy if I didn't, and I wanted to have the same last name as my children.  I am still not used to my married last name.  I dropped my maiden name because my middle name sounds better with my first name/married name.  My married name is difficult to pronounce and people never get it right, it's also a tough name to pair with first names, so we get stuck when trying to name kids. 

We also live by my parents and are in situations with them a lot, and so because I no longer have their last name I am always being introduced as Liz N, Doug F's daughter.  If I had to do it over, I would still change it, but I still don't like it.

quidditchcapn1120

I like my maiden name better, but took my husband's anyway.  We did have a very brief conversation about us switching to my mom's maiden name because the only boy in the family had passed away at a very young age and the name was going to die out with my grandpa.  We ended up keeping his name anyway because we weren't sure his brother was ever going to marry or have kids so his family would have been in the same position.

insertclevername

It was very important to DH that I take his last name, so I did. As to which I prefer I guess my maiden name. However, I went from an always mispronounced Ukrainian maiden name to a frequently mispronounced Russian name. So not really a big change in the grand scheme of things.

CoffeeBeen

Aesthetically, I think I prefer DH's last name slightly.  But I kept mine because (1) I'm a hairy legged feminist and (2) his last name just feels like someone else's name, y'know?

GreysGirl

I took MH's last name when we got married. It's much easier than my maiden name. We are actually in the process of a divorce, (almost final) and I am keeping his last name because it's much easier to do so and because I want the same last name as my son. I'm not sure what I will do if I get re-married, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it I guess. 

topbirdsix

I took my husband's name, but prefer my maiden name as it's less common yet still easy to say.

My uncle had no sons, so when his daughter married/had a child, they gave the child her maiden name, so as to carry on the name.

My H and his brother all had girls. As it stands now, their family name will end with our children (assuming our girls have children and those children take their father's names).