I know I haven't been the most active poster on this board and I completely understand if you don't want to read what I have to say below. However, I need to vent somewhere and maybe someone will have some great insight!
DH and I have been actively waiting since June 8th of this year. Since then I know our profile has been shown 1 time. Our agency does not typically tell us when they are showing our profile unless it is a situation that we marked "will consider" on our forms. One of the sections marked "will consider" was for drug exposure. We were encouraged to check this primarily because drug exposure could mean a multitude of things. The one situation that we allowed our profile to be shared was due to a date rape situation, no drug exposure. However, we have had 2 other situations that we have had to turn down due to lots of exposure and multiple other things as well. The most recent was another baby exposed in utero to methodone. He is currently on a methadone taper and doing well but there are several other factors as well that led us to our decision including exposure to marijuana, BM has bipolar disorder and there is a long family history of mental health disorders (depression, schizophrenia), BM also has Hep C, BF is in jail and has history of drug usage, alcoholism. Overall, there was just a lot going on with the birthparents and extended family.
Anyways, I guess I just want to vent about the fact that I feel discouraged right now. I know this journey is not an easy one but I am starting to feel like we may never get a situation that does not include serious drug exposure/mental health history. I am starting to feel like maybe I am being selfish in not accepting these situations. I do my homework each time and talk to several pediatricians but I just don't ever feel confident enough to say "yes" I am willing to parent this child. I knew going into the adoption journey we might be faced with this I just didn't expect so many so quick. It had me thinking last night that maybe these are the only types of situations our agency accepts but I know realistically that can't be true. I also realize that there are no guarantees in life and that a seemingly perfect situation could also and will also have its ups and downs. Was anyone else faced with this type of situation before being matched with their child?
I know I did a lot of rambling, thanks for listening. Hope everyone has a great week!