Baby Showers
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Is planning my own shower wrong?
We are expecting a very surprise and Kate third child..our youngest is 6 so I have long since given everything away! My closest friend just moved out if state and my mom can't do it...would flat out planning one myself be crazy? I have a lot of different branches of friends who I would want brought together for the occasion..
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Re: Is planning my own shower wrong?
Yes. It's tacky.
...I won't even touch on the fact that this is your third child...
Yes, planning your shower no matter the situation is tacky.
I suggest having a cozy gathering with your closest friends, gifts optional and not even mentioning shower or gifts on the invitations.
This!
BFP #1 5/4/11 EDD 1/12/12 natural m/c 5/17/11
BFP #2 8/9/11 EDD 4/18/12 ectopic pregnancy (methotrexate) 8/24/11 ruptured tube and removal 8/29/11
BFP #3 3/9/12 EDD 11/19/12 Logan born 11/18/12
~*~*Everyone Welcome*~*~
Yes it is wrong.
Start checking out garage sales, Mom's to Mom's sales, and resale shops. If someone offers (maybe one of those different branches of friends) then say yes to a shower, but otherwise do not host your own shower.
After 7 years of no ovulation...
BFP#1 10/24/11 ~ EDD 6/29/12 ~ Natural m/c 11/2/11
BFP#2 2/3/12 ~ Alice born 9/26/12
My thoughts exactly!
This isn't even original MUD. Sheesh.
If you're going to troll on here, do better next time.
Of course it's not wrong. I mean, of COURSE it's your friends and family's responsibility to buy you all the kid stuff you need. Your choice to have another child, but definitely not your responsibility.
So - absolutely, throw yourself a shower and put it on everyone else to re-buy everything that you need!
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Planning your own shower is tacky. Having a shower for a child besides the first child is tacky.
So you gave everything away. Shop garage sales, thrift stores, buy clearance, and use coupons. If people want to get your newest LO a gift, they will do so without the prompting of a shower.
This. ESPECIALLY for your third child.
This.
BFP#1 10 wk missed mc
BFP#2 DS born at 40+2 on 8/14/12 BFP#3 DD Born at 39+3 on 5/13/14
I'm planning my own shower. I don't care if people think it's tacky. I want my shower to be a certain way and the only way to guarentee that is to do it myself. This is gonna be a once in a lifetime memory; I will never have "the baby shower for my first child" ever again in my life and I don't want one thing I absolutely hated to stick out in my memories. Not to mention, that's the only way (I feel) to make sure everyone you want invited is invited and anyone you don't want invited isn't invited. If people think I'm tacky, they can kiss my butt. I keep telling my family, "MY baby shower, MY choice."
I don't really think it's a "once in a lifetime memory" type thing, it's just a baby shower. People get nuts about these and baby birthday parties (which I won't even comment on). It's a chance for friends to celebrate your baby if they want to, definitely not appropriate to throw it for yourself. I personally think if someone wants to throw you a shower you should be grateful for whatever they want to do, however they want to do it. If you want to throw one for someone else, then by all means, control away.
If the theme is "my baby shower, my choice" and that is really your attitude, I think I would probably just stay home and save my money if I were invited. It does not sound like you are very appreciative of others from your tone here and on your other post.
We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013. We love her to pieces.
We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011. She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.
Do you buy your own Christmas and birthday presents too? MY present, MY way.
If you don't think it's a once in a lifetime memory, that's your opinion. My friends aren't being forced to come and therefore aren't being forced to celebrate with me. The theme has nothing to do with "my shower, my choice" but my attitude is I'm not having 500 people at my shower that I don't even know. I want something small, and with it being my shower, I feel like I should have that choice. Even if I wasn't throwing it myself I'd still want to decide if there were 20 people or 500 people and who those people are. And if you knew my mom, you'd know that if she planned it like she had wanted to, there literally would be 500 people there.
Oh, I'm pretty sure it's a given that they think you're tacky (I'm sure a few choice other words as well). Telling your future guests they can "kiss your butt" is probably not the best way to get them lined up at the door either.
The amount of stupid in this post is astounding.
This was helpful. I apologize to the rest of you hormonal judgmental b1tches for even asking a question! Sheesh is right if im so stupid (I don't know wtf mud means because I have a life and have not learned all your corny lingo) dont waste 30 seconds of your life responding! Ugly attitudes give you ugly babies!
Tacky, snotty language gives you a snotty tacky child too.
I completely agree with you. My husband and I have been trying for a baby (secretly) for years. Unfortunately, we do not have close family or friends in the area we live in that would offer to throw a shower for us, and we have diverse friends that do not interact with one another typically. We'd like all of them to participate if possible. A baby shower is not necessarily about giving gifts to the parents, it's to celebrate the coming of a child.
It is a once in a lifetime event. If - as many women on here claim you can only have a shower for the first child - you're never going to have a first child again... and therefore, you won't have a shower again.
Good for you.
TBH, I get that many of the women on here are pregnant, but that doesn't give them a reason to be catty and rude to others.
As far as hosting your own shower goes, to be polite, I'd suggest not putting registry information on the invite. If people ask, then feel free to tell them, but having it on the invite does make it sound like you're only doing it so people will buy you presents. If you're doing to to celebrate - get your party on and don't feel bad about it!
The definition of a shower is to "shower the MTB with gifts" therefore it is rude to host your own "shower" with or without registry information. If you want to celebrate your first, great! However, don't call it a shower, this automatically includes the expectation of gifts.
This. Also, I have to disagree with you on the "once in a lifetime event." It really isn't that big of a deal. The entitled, princess mentality of so many women recently is turning this simple party into something ridiculous. The birth of your first child is a once in a lifetime event, not some lame party with punch and cake.
It isn't a wedding. And what you need to do is provide for your child, not expect other people to do it for you.
Ouch! Wawawaaaa
Well, it's clear that raging b1tch runs in your blood, so you have THAT to look forward to.. Lol, stupid..get a life for real, u take so much offense to a tacky wench like me throwing a question out there you must have nothing actually happening in yours...sad really...please get over yourself, almighty expert on baby ***...
If you are under certain circumstances then why not. If you have a good friend that could help you with anything and they could be the hostess and you can help with the majority of the planning. Instead of putting registry information maybe offer to take donations for a women's and children's center for infants in need. If anyone really wants to give you a gift they will no matter if there is a shower or not. Or even have a diaper party and just specifically ask for friends to bring diapers and offer a gift card drawing so they have a chance of getting a prize. Otherwise congratulations and well wishes!
Whoa, calm down. You posted a question without even looking around the board to see the general ruling on this question (there is literally a post right beneath yours basically saying the same thing) and then when you don't like the responses, you freaked out. It is obviously your choice what you are going to do, but seriously, this is a public forum, get over it.
I'm pretty sure that calling someone a raging biitch is a sure sign of an ugly attitude.
Slow your roll, crazycakes.
I always love the excuse of 'we live in modern times so it's ok to be rude'. Manners are soooo 1800s...
It is rude to plan your own shower because a shower is a gift giving event. The purpose of a shower is to shower the MTB/BTB with gifts, hence the name. It is rude to solicit gifts for yourself.
The shower itself is also a gift given to you by someone else. You don't make a friend take time out of their busy life to plan because they offer to do it. If no one offers, you don't get one. A shower is not a rite, it's not a milestone, it's not something everyone deserves to have. It is a gift!
Put it this way, if your friend called you and said, I'm throwing a party for myself, the whole point of this party is to give me gifts, here's my wish list. Would you say, "oh, how considerate of her"? That's what throwing your own shower is.
"Hey guys, I'm throwing myself a party for you to come bring me presents and fawn over me"
vs
"Hey guys, I'm throwing a party for Suzy where we can come bring her presents and fawn over her"
How is this so hard for people to understand the key difference?
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
I would think that maybe my generation, my group of friends, was raised wrong then, but my parents and my husband's parents are the same way, they expect you to plan your own party and also expect that you provide a wish list. I can't just tell my parents or my husband's parents that I don't want gifts for my birthday or christmas, that i just want to have a family dinner, or I get a daily phone call and email. But I was expected to throw my own baby shower and provide a registry to everyone as all my friends and family only wanted to attend a shower but not throw one. How can you deny them that party? What do you say to family, oh there is no shower because no one is planning one for me? If I am providing all the food, games, the place, the favors, I feel I am not being rude at all in asking people to just come over and have fun. And yes, if someone threw a gift giving party and included the wish list, I would find that very helpful as then I don't have to try to figure out what they want or need. Otherwise it's just like saying you can't ever throw your own birthday party, holiday party, or wedding, that other people must do it for you. I was just brought up with you can't have other people do things for you or you are just lazy and rude.
Because there are people who go, "Hey, we want to attend a party for Suzy and give her gifts, but we don't want to throw the party. Suzy needs to do all the planning herself and have it at her place. I am not messing up my own house!"
Or, "this is her 3rd kid? Oh who cares, this child doesn't matter, only the first one does. We aren't throwing a party." Every child should be celebrated.