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Baby Showers
Is planning my own shower wrong?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Is planning my own shower wrong?
Oh get off your unicorn and come back to reality. I've never said " oh, I want to buy Suzy a gift, but alas.....no shower/ party, so I guess I won't. " I have, however, said " oh, Suzy invited me to her shower, I guess I better go buy her a present".
If I'm a good friend of Suzy and Suzy isn't a selfish twit, I'd be more than happy to host something for her..or get people together and host it. People aren't bending over backwards for suzy because they don't wan to.
And would you people get over the every baby deserves to be celebrated, so we have to throw a full scale baby shower idea. Showers are for the parents, not the baby.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
THIS.
If you want to celebrate a baby, the baby should actually be the guest of honor, not the mother. And the baby should be there. In utero does not count.
You wouldn't have a birthday part for a 2 year old without the kid at the party would you?
I am all for celebrating babies - each and every one of them. But don't hide behind this excuse as the reason to host your own shoer for your 9th child.
Oh dear god... I can't, I just can't.
Who let this twit wander on to the board?
You're beyond help, dragonlayre. You feel entitled and justified in your rude behavior. You think that you are owed these gifts because you're going to spit a baby out of your vag. You're not.
Celebrate the baby and have people over, but begging them for gifts is just rude. You're not going to get it, so this is an exercise in futility. You will be rude and people will talk about you behind your back. You're ok with that. But don't come on here and tell us that it's not rude. You're flat out wrong on this one. It's not a generational thing, it's not a regional thing. It's an etiquette thing...and since you don't know what that is, go find another board.
Wow, I am so glad that you have resorted to name calling and think that is not rude. Also, maybe you should actually read what I have written, I stated that people wanted me to make a registry, not that I begged them for gifts. And who let you on this board? But I am not a rude person and I could care less if people talk about me. Also I stated that if it was a generational thing, why are my parents and my husbands parents demanding that I plan and host my own baby shower? I probably have better etiquette than you since you have resorted to name calling and I have not. Never once have I said I am owed these gifts because I am having a baby because I am perfectly capable of getting my own stuff which I have. I can't help that you think a shower should be for gift giving only. It's like saying don't plan your own birthday party or christmas party because it's a gift giving celebration and doing it yourself demands people give gifts.
True story: I have never once planned a formal or informal birthday party for myself. The closest I have ever came was when someone said "what are you doing for your birthday?" and I said "Well, H and I are going out to xyz" and they said "Awesome! Can I join you?" and I said "Sure, if you want".
I seriously can't think of a single adult I know that has planned a formal birthday party for themselves. Why? BECAUSE IT'S TACKY.
As far as "if it's wrong, why are my parents harassing me to do it?" I have to say "Maybe it's because they don't know any better". Ignorance is not an excuse.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
dragonlayre, just because your parents encourage rudeness, that doesn't make it right. Like BallSox said, Ignorance isn't an excuse. They seemed to have instilled the same thing in you.
A Christmas party isn't a gift giving event. A birthday party for anyone over the age of 18 isn't a gift giving event. A wedding isn't a gift giving event. Now people may bring gifts, but they're not expected. The entire point of a shower is to give someone gifts. That's IT. Celebrations are something else. A BBQ, a "Sip n' See", a "Meet the Baby" party. Those are events where a gift isn't "required." But NO ONE goes to a shower without a gift. Are buying and receiving gifts the only way babies are celebrated? The baby doesn't care what blanket it's wrapped in. It doesn't care what diaper it wears. The party is for the mother--to celebrate her impending motherhood, to give her things to make her life easier.
Again, you're not going to get it, so you have no place on this board. All you will add here is bad advice and an endorsement of rude behavior.
HAHAHA. Demanding that you throw your own shower. Right. "Hey dragonlayre, I really want to buy a present for you as a new mom. But I'll only do it if you throw yourself a big party and spend money to get me food." I'm sure that's exactly how it went down.
I'm planning my own shower, but it's not for selfish reasons. I had no idea it was "bad etiquette" until I started seeing these boards AFTER my shower planning started... and none of my friends said it was rude or anything.
My reasons for planning my own is basically because I have a few group of friends, and they're from different "cliques." I've got my best friends that have never met my fiance's friends g/f's and wives, etc... so it just made sense for me to be in charge of the invites and situating everything.
I DO however have 2 friends that are helping me funds-wise and letting me use their house to host it. [Which both of these friends will be getting hostess-gifts from me since they've been a tremendous help].
I can see why women are choosing to plan their own showers, but if you're choosing to plan it for selfish reasons and throwing around the "My shower, my way" statement... that's just asinine.
And most of my friends suggested doing a fun diaper raffle... so once again I was shocked to see that's looked down upon apparently, too, lol.
I'm new to all this, obviously.
How is this not a "selfish" reason? You want to plan your own shower to avoid awkward interactions between social groups. The thing is, you are all grown ups. You should be able to politely interact, even with other people you (or they) don't know. It's not a valid reason to plan your own shower, and it doesn't make it right, sorry.
I think you misunderstood what I meant. Everyone is being invited, it just seemed easier for me to handle the guest list and pick the date [being that I have friends that have Saturday/Friday commitments, and I'm aware of other anomalies on their schedules]... that's totally selfish of me to plan my shower around my friends' schedules, I suppose. :-
In reality, those are the only parts I'm planning: the date, the invites, and the guest list.. my other 2 friends are handling the games, food and deco [even though most of the decorations we're doing handmade together].
And yes, we are all adults.
I just see how having a say in the planning can be a good course of action in some situations. You may think it's rude, I think it's efficient.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Okay, but you didn't specify that you "have a say" in the planning. You said you are planning your own shower. Those are two very different things.
I, too, had a say in the date/time of my shower, and I gave my MIL (the HOSTESS) a guest list. She planned and took care of the rest. THAT'S having a say, not planning your own shower.