stupid BD, f-ing attitude....vent

KTdidit

Warning: this is honestly just a vent. TIA if you want to read it

So tonight BD is supposed to be picking DS up for his weekend. We have verbally agreed to Wed-Sun every 4 weeks. Well BD hasn't taken DS in 2 months. (We don't have a specific CO and we can't have it changed until one year from when it was originally made.) As of Monday I hadn't heard anything from on if he was/wasn't planning on picking up DS so I FB messaged him. (he only has a house phone and I knew he was at work at the time and wouldn't be home anyway) He called last night and said yeah he was coming to get him. (thanks for the last minute reponse jacka$$) He's just got such an attitude in his voice and tries to be all I'm-the-best-dad-there-ever-was. I'm trying to actively be better at co-parenting so I told BD that DS now says please, thank you, uppy, and open regularly and to make sure he says it. BD says "oh I know, I make him say it all the time when I have him". WTF moment...first of all DS has just started to really say the words so you can tell what they are, second of all BD hasn't seen him in 2 months except for DS's bday party at BD's mom's house over a month ago so how the he11 would he know?!

Its just irritating. I'm trying to be better with this co-parenting and blended family thing. I've gotten over my initial HELL NO reaction with BD's GF watching DS during the day Thursdays and Fridays because BD has to work. I understand that she will be around for a while now and I have to accept it and that its hypocritical of me to allow my FI to watch DS but not let the GF watch him. And I'm the bigger person and not spout off at the mouth when BD is being an a$$ because I know its not good for DS. It's just frustrating that BD isn't doing the same and FI and I feel like he's walking all over me and has no respect for me or the situation.

Ok, I'm pretty sure vent over.

KyleTrigger

I know how you feel. My soon to be ExH does the same thing. He tells everyone he has 50/50 custody and he only has the kids 3 days a month! It is irritating.

But try to remember that even though it is irritating, what difference does it make? It does make it harder to communicate with him but I have gotten to the point I just laugh about it later to my mom and call him a jackass. You know the truth. It wouldn't stop me from reittirating the directions when you see him to pass DS to him. I try to remember to let the little stuff go. The one time my Ex had my DD for 4 days he didn't give her a bath ONE time. I got her back filthy, in dirty clothes and everything. I asked him to please bathe her in the future but realized it isn't the end of the world if she  skipped a bath for a couple days.

My mom always tell me ExH does this bc. he knows deep down he ISNT a good parent so he automatically gets defensive. I think this is probably true. It sounds like it is for your BD too. He only sees DS once a month? Yeah.

KTdidit

Oh I'm sure that's what it is. I ignore it the best I can, it gets easier and easier as time goes by.

And I never thought I'd say this, but thank goodness BD's GF came with him last ngiht to pick up DS, she actually listened and understood when I told her about his anitibiotics and what words he is saying now.