Suggest ways to spend time alone w/ DD#1

cindybaf

I'm due in two weeks with DD#2, and want to start thinking of ways to spend some alone time with DD#1 once #2 arrives. How did you do it? How much time did you spend with #1 alone? What ways or activities worked best? DD#1 lets me read a couple of her favorite books to her but that's like 6 minutes and she's just flipping the pages. She still takes her milk out of a bottle(all other drinks are from her sippy) so while she always feeds herself now I might consider feeding her a bottle to increase bonding time. I'll be recovering from a c/s, and I know my activity level will be limited just like it was when I had #1 but will have DH home for a month and help from our nanny so I want to make sure I set aside enough alone time for #1... Any tips? 

celiabwatson

Newborns sleep a lot (hopefully), so I just made sure that any time the baby was sleeping and the toddler wasn't that I was hanging out with him. Her sleep time has slowly decreased so it's harder now, but he's used to her being around now so there's less of a need.

In terms of what to do... it's hard to say because I had a very easy vaginal delivery so I was able to play with him in all the same ways I had before. In fact I was able to play better because I wasn't pregnant. Otherwise I might say you could sit on the floor and play with blocks or something. It all depends on what she normally likes to do.  

kagl08

In those very early days my DS slept a lot so DD and I got lots of alone time to play outside, do arts & crafts, blocks, read books... She was only 13.5 months when he was born so there wasn't much of a transition period for her. I'm noticing an issue now that she is almost 2 and he is 9 months. She wants to spend time with mama. Her biggest thing right now is puzzles. She knows how to do them quite well but will pretend she can't find the spot and have a hissy fit. I take that as my cue and drop everything to do puzzles with her. She doesn't even care that her brother is climbing all over us because my attention and praise is all on her.

I also try to take her out with me on errands alone without DS. It makes me focus on her as an individual because too often she's bunch into the "kids" category and it's never soley about her. I love those times with just her, even if its just to pick up a prescription or food shopping.

sweetpea2003

In the early days I felt like I spent a ton of time with DD because DS was sleeping 18 hours a day.  The only time I really couldn't be at her disposal was when I was nursing.  And even then, she was playing a few feet away.

I felt like that got more challenging as DS got mobile.  At that point, I put DD in swimming lessons at our gym.  I would drop DS off at the daycare at the gym and take DD to swimming. 

On the flip side, I had guilt about DS never getting any one on one time (since he wasn't the first born he has NEVER had me all to himself).  So last fall I started DD in a 2 day per week preschool from 9-12.  Those 6 hours per week were just for DS and I and I loved just getting to focus on him, play with him, and run errands as a duo.

You'll make it work.  Don't stress about it .

traveling turtle

I don't think I would unteach her something that she already does on her own. 

You may find that she'll sit with you more as you read to her, or you could just talk to her. I read (I'm sure it was on here) that involving her in the new baby is one thing you can. I think the example was when the baby cries, don't stop what you're doing with DD1 immediately, but look at DD1 and say "oh, DD2 is crying, do you want to go with me to see what's wrong?" and things like that.  

jf198400

I agree with other poster about not feeding her a bottle (you probably want to try to drop the bottle soon).  There are lots of normal everyday things you can do to spend time alone with her, for example giving her a bath before bedtime.  My older DD loves doing lots of things with me- coloring, dancing along to the radio, playdough, going to the playground.  I really didn't do anything particularly special.  My DH was home for 2 weeks and then my mom helped for a few days, but for the rest of my ML I was on my own with the kids pretty much until 8pm at night so I didn't get much time alone with either kid unless 1 was sleeping.  I think my DD was just happy to be with me since I wasn't at work.