Question for the experienced single moms:

mamastich

So stbxh and my divorce won't be final until at least September, we have a civil relationship and I think hes being honest with me. So the question:

He called me yesterday saying his in a really bad spot financially and won't be able to make his child support payment this month. I'd been waiting for the phone call, I can still see his financials because it's our old joint bank account. He just got. Minimum wage job after not working since feb and has racked up 30,000 in debt since we split in December.  He has no idea how bad this is and he believes he's still going to be able to pay all his bills when the money 'starts rolling in'. I of course will account for the money my daughter isn't getting but what else should I do? No one else knows how bad his situation is and i feel like I should call his parents. Im nervous for what this means for my financial situation, credit score and such. Any advice or suggestions would be great. I know a lot of you have dealt with similar things. Thank you!

FyreFlyeRush

Track the missed child support payments and bring it to your attorney's attn. He will have to pay them at some point. That's it. Do nothing else. His financial situation and who knows about it aren't your business.

Oh, and get your name off that acct ASAP, lest you be held responsible for a negative acct balance, not to mention it affecting YOUR credit score if it goes to collection. 

preggersin2011

FyreFlyeRush:

Track the missed child support payments and bring it to your attorney's attn. He will have to pay them at some point. That's it. Do nothing else. His financial situation and who knows about it aren't your business.

Oh, and get your name off that acct ASAP, lest you be held responsible for a negative acct balance, not to mention it affecting YOUR credit score if it goes to collection. 

Even if your name isn't on that account, since you two are legally married it affects you. Make sure you also cancel any overdraft type of accounts because those are separate from the checking account. Divorce alone will affect your credit score and insurance rates too. 

mamastich

FyreFlyeRush:

Oh, and get your name off that acct ASAP, lest you be held responsible for a negative acct balance, not to mention it affecting YOUR credit score if it goes to collection. 

We dont have any joint accounts and hes already had something go in collections and people started calling me. Im sure its about to get ugly. 

FyreFlyeRush

Have you filed for legal separation? In my state, legal separation prevents you from being responsible for anything that he's let go into collection or loans he takes out, erc. It's designed to protect men and women from spouses who charge up a bunch of crap for the other party to pay for.

Eveamlizya

FyreFlyeRush:

Have you filed for legal separation? In my state, legal separation prevents you from being responsible for anything that he's let go into collection or loans he takes out, erc. It's designed to protect men and women from spouses who charge up a bunch of crap for the other party to pay for.

ditto.  also...contact your local child support enforcement office and get a case opened.  you can do this before the divorce and it'll take approx 2-3 months to get going...log everything.  I know in my state they have to come up with a minimum of like $40 even when unemployed...and it'll come straight out of his check so he won't have time to spend it and then say he doesn't have it.

BMenz

Ditto what everyone else said, and no, he's not being honest with you. Even if you think he is. 

mamastich

I filed legal separation but the papers weren't correct so I just refilled for the divorce. There is no money for a lawyer so in using the free legal the court offers which has since been filling out paperwork for me. 

I know he's being honest about the finances, I can see his bank account however he is lying about everything else I'm sure. This is the first month he's not giving us any money so now I'll deal with all that I guess. I was happier when he wasn't being so dumb.  

LightTouch

You need to go to your local office and file an acutal order.  I know from my X, who has a child to his first wife, always, ALWAYS paid support, no matter if he was employed or not (and lets just say he changed - well, lost -  jobs like people change underwear) they sucked if from his unemployment checks.  And they don't recalculate it after you lose a job.  The one time, he tried to get it lowered because he lost his job and they actually were going to RAISE it.  So, his finacial problems are NOT yours.  You have a child to take care of and he is responsible for half. 

mamastich

Sorry for so many questions,

I do have an order. Do I need to go back and get garnishment or something? He will tell me where he works im almost sure. Hes maxed out on credit cards which is where im pretty sure he was getting his money for CS. He ended up giving me a partial payment and the begining on the 1st. Thanks for all the help ladies.