October 2011 Moms
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XP: FYE
This was posted on the parenting board, but I just want to make sure everyone sees it. It is worth reading for the principle/principal alone, but the whole thing is hilarious.
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Re: XP: FYE
Hahah omg I read that last night... It was absolutely hilarious.
I felt like I was back in middle school on AIM "fighting" with someone... So MANY unnecessary CAPS!!11!!
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Six pages. Yikes!
I hear you Jess,
I'm sure OP really would not want her child in the care of her MIL if she is truly how she described. It is the principle, that things "should" be fair. She is feeling rejection. I am in a situation where some of the grandchildren are favored over others, as a DIL It messes with your head.
-If her baby is under 3 months I'm sure there is some bad hormone action going on too.
But other grandchildren aren't favored. She's taking care of her foster kids. And she's not allowed in their house and if OP talks to her the way she talks about her I can see why she doesn't see the baby often and why it makes MIL sad. Some people aren't baby people, I don't see why they should have to buy things and babysit in order to spend time with their grandkids.
It's obvious there is a WHOLE lot more to the situation (I only read through the first page....don't have much free time) I didn't see that she wasn't allowed in their house....sounds like a big 'ol mess and probably both OP and MIL have issues and hurt feelings.
The OP stated that MIL did watch the other grandchildren (sister's kids) as infants.
I feel the same way. Things *should* be fair, but family dynamics are complicated. I don't have any siblings to contend with, but in DH's family the squeaky wheel always gets the oil (or should I say the crying baby gets the milk?), and SIL and her kiddos always "squeak" the loudest. I suppose I can understand that.
I've never gotten PO-ed at MIL about her relationship with SIL and the other grandkids - they live with her so they're certainly going to be closer and get more of her attention (and resources). I also understand that MIL is busy and tired, so she doesn't see E as much as she'd like.
A-freaking-men to that. I think this all of the time on these boards. Everyone needs to remember that one day, she too will be a MIL.
I agree with both of you, but I also find the poster bratty.
It is ridiculous to think that adopted kids and their children are not the same as biological children to the MiL and so on.
BUT if my MIL -or anyone- would have told me that they 'don't do babies and don't dream of babysitting' I would be pretty hurt too and would certainly not go out of my way to make time for visits either. It is not that they have to babysit to get visits, but I would be taken aback by a comment like that too. Especially if it came unprovoked.
FWIW, my ILs have babysat once so DH cold go out for a hockey game. I had MiL help helping out here a lot though right after my c/s. she would come over after work and sit with the baby so I could take a nap or could shower when DHnhad to work. FiL brings food a lot when I am alone with baby all day and drops in for lunch dates and such things. I don't even expect that. I know that they basically babysat out nephew every other day for the first year after SiL had her son. But you know what? I am pretty proud that we can do it with much less help and after all, I know they would do the same for us if we were asking or they saw we need the help. I believe grand kids are for playing and spoiling and then to be given back to the parents.