Baby Showers
ohshenaniganz
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sending invites after rsvp date
ohshenaniganz
member
in Baby Showers
My mom and sister are throwing my husband and i a jack and jill shower in two weeks. In May they asked for a list of family and friends from myself and my inlaws. My inlaws told us that they had no one to invite because their family is out of state and my mil did not want to invite her friends/ coworkers because of the 45 minute drive ( i know). Low and behold yesterday was the rsvp date for the invites and today i recieved an email from my fil saying he and my mil discussed it and now they think i should sent invites to all of their family so that we can receive gifts. I find two things wrong with this: 1. I would never send an invite just for a gift and 2. why would I send an invite to an out of town guest with an event two weeks away when the rsvp date has come and gone. I suggested that we could send a birth announcement when the baby comes and if they wish they then can choose to send us a gift, but now my inlaws are insisting that feeling will be hurt if i don't send baby shower invites. What do you ladies suggest the best way to handle this is? and isn't it rude to send invites after the fact?
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Re: sending invites after rsvp date
Yikes. Do you even have the extra invites to send? That could be an easy way out. If not, I'd simply tell your inlaws that since the RSVP date has passed and the shower is so close, neither you nor the hosts are comfortable inviting more people. If the ILs say they want the gifts (?!?!), tell them the extra presents aren't necessary, and if they say feelings will be hurt, explain that the shower your mom and sister are throwing is really for your side of the family.
Good luck with this. Sheesh.
I would just tell them that you are so sorry but your mom and your sister already have the RSVPs back and are only planning for that number so it's simply impossible to add any guests. See how I removed you from the equation entirely? Your mom and sister are the hosts, that's their decision, and it's final. That way, the in-laws can't argue with it. If they try, just repeat the exact same thing over again.
And, no, don't send out birh announcements just to get the gifts. If these people are family, they can obviously get you gifts before or after the baby is born even if they don't attend a shower or receive a birth announcement
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
thanks everyone for your suggestions. as it turns out it is out of my hands now. my fil took it upon himself to scan my invites and send them via email and a facebook invite to their side of the family. so much for not being tacky. *slaps forehead*
I agree with the other pp about putting it all on your mom and sister. Besides...there are no more invites (most likely the case anyway).
As for the birth announcements...of course send them. I'm sure your IL's family will want to know there has been a new addition. The reason for a birth announcement is not for gifts but if anyone sends a gift then fine.
Ugh! I would be really upset at my FIL for doing that! At least the guests will know it's from your IL's and not from you, but still. Some people could assume they weren't invited b/c you didn't originally want them there, not b/c your IL's had told you not to invite anyone at first. I also hope that your hosts are okay with more guests on the off chance that any of them do decide to come.
What does YH think about all this? He should have tried to talk some sense into his parents - in my opinion. What's done is done now and it's on your IL's really, but I would still want MH to talk to them about it.