Rough weekend

Bayberry12

Friday I had a major setback and spend most of the day crying, while my husband was at work.  I forced myself to get out of the house and go get my nails done for a wedding I was attending on Saturday.  I think when the weather is so beautiful it makes me more sad, because my baby is not here on such nice days.  

I was extremely anxious about going to the wedding.  I was going to be seeing all of my extending family who I had not seen since I was 9 mos pregnant.  The day turned out to be ok.  I got a lot of hugs and smiles, but no one mentioned the loss, which I think is a good thing because I probably would have had a breakdown.  But, it also makes me mad/sad/angry because "My baby died, and EVERYONE should know I'm suffering".  

And then Sunday, the main event; Father's Day.  It should have been my husband's first.  We didn't celebrate.  I told him it would have been too hard for me to go spend the day with his family, and watch his nieces with their dad.  So we stayed home.

Everyone that has been through this is right; the "firsts" are so hard, but I got through this weekends firsts with some tears and some smiles and a lot of sadness.    

fluttergirlmoonchild79

I'm so sorry your weekend was so rough.  For what it's worth, I think you handled it well.  To put things in perspective, I'm a little over 6 months out and I still have setback days.  I get frustrated because I'll think I'm going ok and then I feel like I fall.  I liken it to digging myself out of a hole.  I feel like I'm almost out and then lose my grip and then fall back to the bottom and have to start over again.  My husband and I didn't celebrate yesterday either.  We were invited to go out to eat and bowling with his family and his brother's 4 kids and I left the decision to my DH and he decided we weren't going to go.  I let him do whatever he wanted over the weekend so he played video games the entire time.  Normally I'd get upset with him for spending such wasted time but I was ok with it this past weekend.  I'm glad you made it through though.  Even though you feel you have taken a step back, you really took a major step forward and I'm proud of you.  {{HUGS}}

jbranden12

I'm sorry you had a rough weekend. I definitely have experienced what you felt at the wedding. Like this weekend at a bridal shower. I was afraid for the ones who know to mention Patricia in front of strangers who don't know because I don't want to be the poster child for babyloss mamas and feel that I have to act a certain way, but I also want EVERYONE to know how much pain I am in. It was tough.  ((hugs))