New to TheBump-and unsure

inkychick

Hey there! My DH and I just got married in May.  We'll have been together 3 years next month.  We've talked about babies alot but we are both unsure.  I'm not sure if this is a normal reaction to having children or not.  I think we're scared of not having "normal" lives after baby comes.   Not being able to afford to do anything (travel, hang with friends, etc) sleep in, relax lol. I know these things will come when baby is older but the whole post partum depression is terrifying to me. I'm an only child and would love to have  a family someday. I just wonder if anyone gets that time where they know for a fact they want a child. I have times where I do, and times where I don't. Then the whole with with autism and birth defects scare me as well. Are these normal thoughts to have? Please be nice in replying, i've been on these boards before in theKnot and I know some commentors can be brutal.

misspunky

I felt the same way as you do, and still am unsure, even though I'm expecting in September.  It's completely natural to question what you don't know.  I was sure I didn't want children any time in the near future.  Our daughter had different plans   She was unexpected, but very loved.  I still get terrified sometimes thinking about how much my life is going to change and how much I still have to get done.  I had just gotten accepted into nursing school and had worked SO hard to get my life back on track, so it was somewhat disappointing, but I have dealt with my emotions from that and moved on.  I'll still get to do nursing, it's just delayed for a year.  Obviously someone has bigger and better plans for our future

SLGN2012

This is so interesting - I literally almost posted the same question you did in the Baby on the brain board... and we have been together for almost 3 years as well! I am in the same boat... let me know if you hear anything that totally changes how you think about this! Best of luck!

inkychick

I know I want to have a child. I'm just scared as I suppose thats normal. Everyone says when its your own you get the hang of it. And the whole sleepless night thing is only really temporary. Eventually they grow up and become independant. I'm sure you can work it out with your partner to make sure either of you get to have some "alone" or "me" time. I mean...people HAVE kids and don't go completely insane about it right??? What about other things that aren't in our control?? Birth defects, autism. Thinking of that drives me nuts and I'm not sure I can handle it.