Single Parents

Mixed feelings after first ultrasound

Today I went for my first ultrasound. I'm going to be a single mom since the father of the baby is my ex and I'm moving across the country in 2 weeks. Long story! Anyway, I've been somewhat ambivalent about this pregnancy. We miscarried at 8 weeks, a little over a year ago with a baby we actually wanted together. Although this current baby was completely unexpected and un-planned, I decided to keep it and he's supportive. He came to the ultrasound today with me.I always read about women so excited to hear the heartbeat and see the baby for the first time. I wasn't super excited. I have a lot of mixed feelings from the miscarriage as well as my single parenting future. The baby seems healthy, measured at 8w3d (I'm 8w4d) with a heartbeat of 180. My glucose level was super high and I'm overweight so that brings up nutrition and exercise.  I'm just not as excited as I hoped to be. I was so much more excited for the first pregnancy. I know I will eventually love and adore and spoil this baby. Just not yet... Anyone else feel similar...?  
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Re: Mixed feelings after first ultrasound

  • I often feel this way. I'm 31w and XBF dumped me when I was a little less than 6 months. I often think about how this isn't the storyline my life was supposed to follow and it can be quite depressing. However, now that I'm getting closer to delivering, the reality of Yes, you DO have to do this alone is sinking in and I'm better prepared. I do feel overwhelmed most of the time, but I know that it is just something that I will have to do. What choice do I have? She can't stay in there forever! 
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  •  I had to reply to this because I was in a similar situation. My husband left me when I was 3 months pregnant. Even though I had always wanted a child the emotional upset of the separation and the subsequent move to an apartment left me very drained an unable to get as excited about the pregnancy as I thought I should be.

    You have to face facts that this is not the way you planned things and certainly not what you wanted to happen but once your little one is here I promise you things will change. While I was pregnant I was jealous of all the couples with babies around me, they all seemed really happy while I was an emotional wreak. Emma is 3 months old next week and I love her more than I thought was possible. I am so busy these days I hardly ever think about my ex and actually feel sorry for him that he is missing out on all the milestones of such an amazing baby.

    I promise you things will get better you just need to give it some time and take great care of yourself.

     

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  • I felt like this too. At times I still do fell like maybe I'm less excited than I should be and I'm 32 weeks.

    My STBXH went with me to my first doctor appointment, he and his mom needed "proof" I was really pregnant, apparently the 15 positive tests didn't prove enough. He was an hour later than the time I told him, texted his girlfriend the whole time, the proceeded to tell me in front of the ultrasound tech that he didn't think the baby looked like him so it couldn't be his..... I was 9 weeks. The baby looks like a peanut at that point. I barely paid attention to the heartbeat and then cried after the appointment.

    Its a hard situation to be in and to feel excited about the baby all the time.I may get flamed for saying that, but I would honestly think all of us on this board have felt this way at some point. Just don't EVER let anyone make you feel bad for being excited, or having a baby shower, or things of that sort. EVER. You deserve every bit of happiness as someone who is in a perfect, ideal family situation. You will bond with your baby, and you will love him or her every bit as much as you should. I promise.

    imageimage Visit The Nest! BabyFetus Ticker :.:.Dear baby boy, No one will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.:.:
  • unfortunately, i spend most days being absolutely bummed about being pregnant. i also had a miscarriage almost 4 years ago with a guy i thought id marry. i was absolutely beyond heartbroken. after we broke up i decided marriage and family life just werent in my cards. so i became careless and lived a worry free lifestyle. i ended up getting pregnant the last time i was with the father. he broke up with me thru a text a week after i conceived because he was seeing another girl. he is still with her and says that having a baby with me is really hard on her... so he just doesnt talk to me. i lost all of my friends because this guy and i had been friends for 10 years soo for obvious reasons they all just stopped talking to me. every time i see my doctor she seems less than thrilled and doesnt really inform me of anything, she just lets me hear the heartbeat and asks if i have any questions. this is my first pregnancy so i have no clue what i need to do or know. i think this is really contributing to me not being attached to this baby. i think i completely understand how you feel.

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  • imagelegs2long09:

    every time i see my doctor she seems less than thrilled and doesnt really inform me of anything, she just lets me hear the heartbeat and asks if i have any questions. 

    Exactly how my doctor is. I feel like she makes no effort even knowing i'm a FTM. 

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  • Thanks everyone for posting your experiences and thoughts. It's so helpful to know that I'm not alone in my feelings. It's been 3 days since I've posted. I've been staring at the ultrasound pic of the baby and I'm working on accepting it. I'm a little excited, as now I think this baby may actually stick! I'm also grateful (maybe prematurely) that my ex actually wants to be a part of the pregnancy and wants me to stay in CA near him (I'm moving to the east coast, where I'm originally from, in less than 2 weeks, which has been planned for months). I do feel someone supported by him. Moving is best because he and I are not together, he's dating someone, and I have way more support from family and friends there. 

    Anyway, I found some interesting books on Amazon that I'm going to order. They're about conscious pregnancy like journaling, connecting with the baby while pregnant, meditation, etc. If anyone's interested, just google conscious pregnancy on Amazon and a variety of books will pop up.

      

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