I don't even know where to start...
tdmklm
member
So, you agree to go visit your MIL on your anniversary. You know, because your wife asked, and it's been a while since she's seen the baby. Once there, because you share a room with the kiddo, his sleep goes to he** because he wakes up, sees you right there, and won't go back to sleep - like, wakes up at 4 and won't go back to sleep. Two nights in a row.
So it seems like a good time to have a conversation (initiated by your wife, not you) about what the bejeezus will happen when the whole family goes on the d^mn family cruise in July since you'll be sharing a room with the kiddo for a week. On the only friggin' vacation you'll have, after which you get to go back to your hellish schedule on 13-hour days twice a week. You know, like can we have adjacent rooms so we a) don't have to hang out outside the cabin after his 8 p.m. bedtime; b) have some place to go if he wakes up at night and we have to put him back to sleep (since being in the same room DOES NOT WORK).
Except your MIL doesn't agree this should be discussed at all. She has a royal banging on the table fit (seriously) and yells at you, screaming "You gave your family three weeks in January. Why can't you give my family a week?" (Uhhhh... Because we see you all the time. My family didn't know my child, and I hadn't seen them in 6 1/2 years. And we all know how well that went.)
Let's say your wife just sits there and watches her mother yell at you. You get up to leave, and your MIL grabs your arm and tells you not to. You do leave, but your wife says nothing, and doesn't come to see you for about a half hour.
You being me, of course. I'm so done with this sh*t.
Re: I don't even know where to start...
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oh no, that is terrible! I'm so sorry
1) you have way more than your fair share of crazy in your family
2) your wife has a lot of making up to do. A LOT.
3) book that adjoining cabin without any further discussion. you are right on this.
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I'm with the others...I'd totally book the adjacent room and not think twice about it! And I hope your wife steps up and defends the decision and apologizes for not defending you earlier. Hugs...
All of these. I'm so sorry she didn't have your back. Please know that we think you're totally right, and I would have had the same convo at the same point.
Just wanted to offer additional support and send some hugs and positive energy your way!
If the cost is not an issue, I would just book the connecting room. It is after all your family vacation also and you are doing what works best for your family. I think it's too bad that the focus got away from making this a pleasant get together for everyone into a battle between "our family vs. yours".
I am so very sorry that your MIL treated you that way. That was beyond inappropriate. I would be so hurt and angry if my wife kind of "hung me out to dry". I hope that you are able to come together and find a happy medium for you and your wife. That is what is important. Then you can move forward from there.
I am not sure what the sleeping arrangements would be in the cabin, but after being on a few cruises, perhaps you can see about hanging a sheet or draping something to kind of keep the kiddo separate from you and your wife? I know that this is not the point at all of your issue with your wife as I feel at this point it is how she chose to react (as in doing nothing) to the awful situation you were in.
Again I am so very sorry that happened. I have to give you kuddo's for not going off on her and keeping your cool.
Did I miss some information? Why is your MIL at all involved in you two getting a different cabin for your child? Why would this matter to her? Is she paying for it? If not, is it her business?
On the other part, I am appalled that your partner didn't stop your MIL, not only from insulting you but from grabbing you. She touched you violently!!!! I am really sorry that you didn't feel defended, because that is a horrible situation to be in. ;(
Thanks. Yeah, not ok at all.
No, she's not paying. The reason she's involved is she made the arrangements for the cruise with a travel agent she knows, and we don't have contact info for that person to figure out which cabin we have at this point.The initial idea had been for us to have a cabin next to that of another family member. Since people are unlikely to be in their cabins at 8 p.m., we figured we could hang out in one of the in-laws cabins until our bedtime - playing cards, watching TV, whatever. That's what she was supposed to have booked - our cabin next to someone else's. That doesn't appear to have happened, however, and she wouldn't talk about what did happen or who we should talk to should we want to book an additional cabin regardless.
Way, way more than your share of crazy family. DW needs to fix this for you, no matter what the issues are with MIL.
Can you guys plan a long weekend getaway for just your nuclear family? You deserve some time to yourself since the "family vacations" sound like hell.
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So if MIL is the one who holds all the info, perhaps DW can talk to her mom about the sleep situation and ask for the contact info. That would be the most logical (and apologetic to her wife!) way to handle this one. I hope you and DW can get this worked out so your trip can be more relaxing!