New here, hoping to find people to talk to.

lillyrocket

Hello everyone. I've never posted anything on the internet before so I hope I'm doing this right. I'm kind of shy, so this is a little scary, but I guess I just need someone to talk to, and maybe some advice.

I'm about 34 weeks pregnant, due on July 4th with a little girl. I'm not really sure if this is the place to put all of this but I have no one to talk to in real life. Up until a few months ago everything was going great. My husband and I bought our first house last Aug. and then started trying to get pregnant. We were lucky and it didn't take very long before I found out we were expecting.My husband had a great job as a foreman for a natural gas company and I was going to college to get an education degree. He was making enough money so that the plan was for me to stay at home and just concentrate on being a mom and finishing school.

In Jan. I had a horrible cold so my husband ran out at like ten thirty that night to get some cough medicine for me. I fell asleep and woke up to the police at my door telling me that my husband had been in a car accident. He got hit head on by some highschool kid who was drunk driving. The kid walked away with some broken ribs. My husband broke his back and he won't ever walk again.

I feel so lost right now. My husband is obviously depressed and doesn't want to talk about the future at all. We have no money, he's getting disability and I'm waitressing now, but it still isn't anywhere close to what he was making at his job. I just don't know what to do anymore. The baby is due soon and I've gotten nothing prepared, except buying a crib which is still in the box in her empty nursery which I haven't even thought about decorating.

Last week my husband told me he thinks maybe we should give her up for adoption. He doesn't think that he can be a good dad from a wheelchair and he doesn't want her growing up with a dad who can't walk. I told him that she's going to love him no matter what, just like I do but part of me wonders if maybe we should consider adoption. I love my little girl more than anything and I want her to have the best life possible. Right now I don't even know how I'll be able to afford to buy her diapers. 

Neither of us has any family to turn to really. Both of us came from extremely broken messed up homes, I don't want any of them involved in my little girl's life. We just moved our town for my husband's job last July and I really haven't made any friends to talk to about any of htis. Things just feel hopeless.

Thank you for reading this, I'm sorry it was so long and depressing. I wish everyone the best and thanks again for letting me spill my guts.

ginanate210

first i would like to say how sorry i am for what has happened to your H & all the stress you've now have on you... but dont give up on yourself there is always assistance from the government wic foodstamps housing medicaide all sorts of help out there that you can apply for now that y'all are a low income family... dont let it bring you down as long as you do your best thats all that matters and whatever you choose to do is okay you have to do whats best for all of you couseling does sound like a good  idea for your H and yourself if you feel like talkin might help and if not thats fine theres no right or wrong way to go about things everyone does things their way in the end.... I hope everything works out for you and your family Im here if you ever need to talk vent whatever

khowell16

Wow.  I am so sorry for everything that you are having to deal with right now.  I had a pretty crappy childhood too, but I can't imagine dealing with what you are.  I can kind of understand where your DH is coming from since it's so fresh, but maybe have him talk to a counselor (there are plenty that medicaid or other social services will pay for) and get him to really talk about his feelings and anger and anything else he wants to.  If you both came from broken homes, I am sure you have talked to a therapist at least once in your life (I have seen the same therapist for TWENTY YEARS), but I think therapy could help your DH deal with his feelings and maybe wrap his head around being a wheelchair dad.  People are SO capable of ANYTHING, and you guys are a PERFECT example of that.  Sometimes life throws you *** and you deal with it....and the more *** that is thrown at you, and the more you deal with, the easier it gets.  I'm not trying to be cliche or anything like that, but talking about it and letting your DH yell and scream and be angry so he can move beyond it might help.  You might also want to look into support groups in your area for newly paraplegic people.  I'm sure they have them.  Good luck and I'm sorry you feel alone!